bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №61653
 21.03.2012
With the doctor:
Why, when the baby was 2 months old, did you not come to weigh?
- So there was an epidemic, everyone went with the flu, what weighing was there
- In vain you did not come, there was such a frost and there was nobody exactly...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №61652
 21.03.2012
The.rf domain was created.

When will the WWW be replaced by the CCS???? to

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №61651
 21.03.2012
XHH: worked since January in the water delivery company operator. I was fired without work on March 18th.I wrote in the labor that I worked as an accountant until the end of January. Not good is all.
WOW: Is it not good? I think you’re in the phrase "nature of the pudding" a bit sealed.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №61650
 21.03.2012
Give me such a guy!!Coffee *
What color is the savannah?

[ + 41 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61649
 21.03.2012
Distribute points over i

In 1927, in the framework of the GOELRO plan in the USSR began the construction of DniproGES. The western press immediately swallowed the bile about this construction. "Lapotny Russia never realizes such a project," the newspapers of the United States, the United Kingdom, France, Japan wrote.
In 1932 DniproGES was built. And it works until now. And he is not alone - all over the former Union, his troops are working, including a huge Brotherly hydroelectric power plant. And there is a very high probability that the electricity that your computer consumes is produced by the GES.

DneproGES and other stations are now standing and working only because they were developed and built in the USSR. And in times when for a small mistake you could lose your head in the literal sense. And now what? Order of the device. period of 6 months. 5 months are spent on all the money and in 1 month the purchase of the remaining funds and development begins. Nothing works naturally. The USSR had everything. Arms, manufacturing, hands and main brains. Russia has lost everything. Production collapsed, the hands crumbled and the brains left the hole and now they are developing the same GPS that, as if I were not a patriot of the country, has more chances of living.

With respect, the engineer of the cotton turbine shop TEC-16.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №61648
 21.03.2012
The last comment (after numerous reviews on the advantages and disadvantages) to the phone costs about $700:

I wonder why people who make 3 mistakes in one word have money for such phones?

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61647
 21.03.2012
What is it that the girl doesn’t know who Katani is? Maybe you don’t like this genre of movies? My husband is 26 (I am 22), so when he was born again he did not know who Gargantia and Pantagruel are and does not know that Earl Stanley Gardner is one of the most famous authors of the detective genre, but he knows a lot of what I don't know. Imho

[ + 34 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61646
 21.03.2012
I have always been interested in the psychology of calves in terms of the continuation of the family. Smart and shy guys, even if they are outwardly nothing, not to mention botans, always dynamize in favor of even not the most cute but confident macho. But the interesting thing is not that by choosing an alpha male and flying, she will raise a son, based on the ideals of smart shy botans... This is such a fucking paradox!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №61645
 21.03.2012
Life has to be lived so as not to be deserved.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №61644
 21.03.2012
An unusual antenna
During the Great Patriotic War, a Soviet radio station operated on the Crest Island in Leningrad. It was broadcast to Finland in pure Finnish, on the same frequency as the official Finnish radio.
Transmissions were conducted in the comment mode: the Soviet dictator met in the speech of his Finnish colleague and shone with ingenuity.
For example, as soon as a Finnish dictionary pronounced the phrase:
Please listen to the latest news! The Soviet then added in Finnish:
Well, that is not news, but a fresh Goebbels lie!
Further, he told fresh anecdotes about Hitler, added to the news the viewpoint of the Soviet side, and so on. In short, news releases with Soviet commentary became very popular in Finland, roughly as in our time films in the translation of Goblin.
The German command and Finnish leadership were terribly upset by this situation. The Germans continuously licked out of artillery through the forest on the island, where they believed the transmission antenna was located.
To guess that the antenna served as the steel wire of one of the 15 aerostats of the fence, they could not.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №61643
 21.03.2012
I do not care about money! They calm me.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №61642
 21.03.2012
Is he gay?
Alexander: In my opinion not.
What is his attention to you?
Alexander: Sometimes you will embrace, sometimes near you will call to sit down, sometimes you will take your hand.
He helped me dress up yesterday.
Gary: It is Ella. not gay

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №61641
 21.03.2012
She was at a seminar on accounting and there they said that according to statistics, the average salary of an accountant in the city is 20400. One woman couldn’t stand it and said: We know your statistics.
I am a decent wife, and my neighbor has 3 lovers, so according to statistics it turns out that I am the last fool!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №61640
 21.03.2012
We travel in Germany by car. On the front seats, two friends talk restrainedly, and I got an employee behind me with a code nickname "I want to know everything". With a speed of a hundred questions per minute, we move on the highway: "What is this inscription?", "What is this, breezes?", "What is the next city?", "Where will we eat?", "Where will we order a roll?", "Why did you learn German?";
After an hour, seeing that the enthusiasm is not inclined to diminish, I could not withstand and loudly asked the comrade not to catch me. Suddenly my request was understood, he turned to the window and began to look at the dull landscape.
From the front seat the question: “What, did you argue?” and I answer: “The power is no more, as in the anecdote about Papa, de More.”
Suddenly my neighbor stumbled, his eyes burned, turned to me and ringed, with anxiety: "Sea? Where is the sea?"

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61639
 21.03.2012
I walk from the room to the kitchen, carrying papers. When I’m in the room, I hear Manny playing. I walk through the corridor - Manjuna lies on the carpet, all so quiet, glitters on me. And only from the third time I noticed how she, when I appeared, lay on the insecticide with which she was playing.
222: What do you take away?
111, and I took her. She broke my fingers with dozens! I opened the last package.
Angry hostess took from the cat specifically designed toys for her

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №61638
 21.03.2012
I watched the Formula 1 qualifications. Alexey Popov said about this phrase:

In the team %teamname% has a new pilot. (Pause) This is exactly how the word "pilot" is correct.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №61637
 21.03.2012
I scan the accounts.
I: here you need a permission to display 300, so that the image quality is good
Accountant: It doesn’t have to be good. On the contrary, the employer has to do nothing.
O_O

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №61636
 21.03.2012
And when will they give me a tsak and tell me how many times should I sit down and talk ku? I can’t live in the midst of wild people who sit in the eye.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №61635
 21.03.2012
The first TV with a touch screen was the Soviet Rubin - until you knock on the screen, it shows nothing.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №61634
 21.03.2012
XXX: I get married
Was he smoked?? to
XHHH: You throw her a lick in front of it clamps, she told him yesterday when she clamped it that she liked it. I asked why, and she calmly said so "The cobra looks like". Everything jumped inside me.
Woolf: I knew I needed to get to know.

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