My son 4 years. We play chess with him. He’s playing pretty hard, but I’m losing. It is psychotic about that. Yesterday, the psychoanalyst said he would not play anymore.

“Let me walk with my left hand?” I was pleased. – I am pleased. I agreed. The naive fool.

He began to get serious. It is still in the clothes, but will soon be delivered a chair.

Last night was difficult for one forum. Where the supporters of the assignment to the female professions of various feminists sit tirelessly.
One of them said, as a veterinarian, I will never be. I love animals like my mother. I’m going to be a veterinarian. Or the zoology. Only so.
I became curious. I ask, what is the difference?
In many ways, he answers, but if you don’t understand the idea of complete equality, then you’re either a sexist with a prejudiced mindset, or you’re just stupid like a puppy.
Then I write to her, express yourself correctly.
I don’t understand, he responds.
Well, since you are for total equality, why offend someone in this way? It would be fair to give all living beings gender-appropriate names.
Let it be a corner. Cucumber and Cucumber too. And also touch, bed, turtles and turtles. Drunk again. Ullit, white, laurel, butterfly, pandas, zebras and panther.
And again, I apologize, the flies, the frogs and the antilopagus.
Here, the future zoologist for some reason, switching to a language more suitable for public services workers than representatives of her noble profession. Moreover, insulting, she called me exclusively feminists - a pascua, a creature and a fall.
On the paddle, I was already offended and, disconnected, went to cry in the pillow.

by robertyumen

Putin looks at Misha Galustyan with suspicion.

I am an orphan. My mother died when I was nine, my father when I was twelve. My whole childhood was offended to tears when my friends told me they were going to parks with my parents, spending time together, and I was sitting at home in the meantime under the care of an indifferent grandmother who said I wasn’t at home and she just needed help. I am 23 and got married. After the wedding they went to the husband's parents, and from the threshold she heard the joyful cry of the mother-in-law: "Misha, the daughter has come!" And hugged strongly. I cried, I was home.

It seems that freedom of speech in Russian is an opportunity to discuss, criticize and ironicly blaspheme the presidential elections in neighbouring states on a daily basis.

© Dmitry Sviridov

“My friends, I want to ask you this question. There is a family with minors living on the same street. There is no gas or light in the house. The children walk hungry, cold, and watch their parents not work and drink awkwardly. Where to seek help? The guardianship agency? Children are very sorry... Anonymous.”

I read this post and remembered my childhood. We also had such a family on the street, the mother was alcoholic, the father was lost somewhere, and the boy - Olegka, suffered because of this. On a physical and moral level. He was three years younger than I was, intelligent, energetic, played great chess, often with me winning, which brought me into a marked nervous state. He was raised by the entire neighborhood, each of the neighbors considered his duty to invite him home, to feed him, to sew if something broke, and sometimes to buy something new. And if his mother had a company for the evening, then someone must have gone and taken Olegka to sleep with him. No one has ever even thought about determining him somewhere in childhood, although I cannot say this 100%, I was still a boy.
In 1981, a storm washed away part of our village, many people died. A three-metre water shaft, intertwined with trees and stones, struck the village at night, when everyone was asleep, and our side of the street was severely affected. Of the fifteen houses on the spot, only two remained, the rest simply broke, broke and washed. Oleg died that year. I was not a witness to the element, was in the departure, but when I returned from the conversations, I realized that Oleg was trying to save his neighbors to the last, and as the survivors told him in several cases it succeeded, until he himself crushed the barrel. He was fifteen at the time and I think he considered everyone his family. What his fate would be in the childhood home, I do not want to guess.

What is the point of developing the Russian economy when it is possible to introduce criminal punishment for denying its greatness?

Here's what happens when your girlfriend leaves for a week: I found a delightful huge glass I've never seen; and I drank from it all week. When Carrie came home, I asked why we never used it; she replied, “It’s a flower vase.”

Good girl: earned a vacation, went to the sea. Bad girl: went to the sea - earned!

About the history of Notre Dame, sorry. It happened while studying in France. At that time, one of our co-workers bought their own socks. Take her and don’t come. To change for others herself somehow embarrassed and asked us to go together to the shopping center.
The delegation was headed by another of our counterparts, Yura, a former military, who spoke rather boycottedly in French. But since he taught him in service in Algeria, his French was what is called “Arabic.” Without any pronounce there, with its phonetic characteristics, a clear rotten letter r, etc. Sometimes the locals just didn’t understand it.
Nevertheless, he resolutely took the situation into his own hands and, upon arrival in the store, walked to the first box office, where he missed a low fat Frenchman:
“Kamrad,” Yura told him at once, “yeah, kamrad. Help us, comrade
The fat man squeezed a little from the comrade (he was unlikely to be a French communist) but, a little delayed, sneezed and then Jura issued the following phrase:
“Notre-Dame and the Ashton of Cologne. Il Fou Change, camarade
The box office is even more. Apparently he had never been asked to change God’s Mother’s pants before. In French, Notre-Dame (Mother of God) and Notre Dame (Our Lady) sound the same.
The Frenchman looked around on the sides, looked at Yura, then uncomfortable hickled and cautiously asked:
The Notre Dame? and money?
Yura shrugged his head and pointed to our fellow:
and Voila!
She changed her clothes without asking for a check. The cashier never stopped laughing, even when we were already leaving. Yuri, however, it did not bother and did not prevent him from holding his hand tightly to say goodbye.

by robertyumen

Russian TV channels will show the debate between Poroshenko and Zelensky.
What nice guys! And Ukrainian channels in 20 years have never dared to show Putin's debate.

I have a small workshop for repairing electrical tools. A man comes to me, bringing the perforator for repair. As usual, I recorded his phone and name.

How is your name?

and Vache. Through “a” and slit.

A man with humor.

Often medical tests say more about the future of a person than his personal horoscope.

It’s not my story, but it didn’t sound like it.

This happened in Soviet times.
The usual sanatorium of the Academy of Sciences, filled with staff of the middle hand - procedures, walks, gossip, in general, boredom is deadly. And then there was a rumor – an academic must come! The event! On the indicated day, curious people actually saw a car coming up from which a solid gray-haired man came out. and sympathetic. He was followed by an elderly woman, a woman. They went to the sanatorium to rest and be treated.
The wife of the celebrity constantly stirred around her husband, cared for him. He took all the care with tired kindness. And in the dining room they sat next to a cute young lady. The woman assessed the situation for a few days. He assessed and went to attack. After all, academic, this is such a chance, and why does he have such a silver old lady next to him? And gradually (the barbecue was literate and insidious) the novel began to bind. They are already walking together, and they are sitting on the benches, and so on,... in general, love is not a joke.
And when everything became clear, the wife could not withstand and went to find out the relationship with the invader. She just approached her and asked, very politely, “Please tell me, why do you want my husband?”
In response – a bunch of crazy phrases about love, freedom, fate, and so on.
The elderly woman said, “But you know, he’s a very sick man. He needs constant care, in addition, he must follow a strict diet, not every woman will withstand it.
The young woman rejoiced - it is not understandable that for the salary of an academic you can organize a great paid care, not necessarily at the same time turning into such a worried creature as her interlocutor.
The elderly lady looked at the young girl for a few seconds, and then calmly said, “I understand. But the fact is that the academic is me.”

Putin was upset by the price. For the 19th consecutive year...

There was no sadness, she bought a pork.

Or, in another version, a car.

A friend comes to me, says, let's drink, I can't tell you sober.

Even though I didn’t ask her anything, she told me a story.

Below them lives a neighbor, not bad, in general, a woman. Age 50-55, superstitious, but on an adequate scale. They greet each other and smile.

And here she bought a car. My son bought her. She had rights, but she did not drive.

And it became in their small parking world by one car more. Actually, her little Marchik’t have done worse if the lady parked like everyone else. If everyone enters the pocket in parallel to each other, it stands up perpendicular. It was like driving and getting up.

The first morning, the drivers did not understand the joke, and no one knew exactly whose car.

The next day, they began to find out who the master was.

The car belongs to a neighbor. My wife and husband went to ask.

When asked why the lady parks so, she laughed and said, “Oh, I can’t do anything else yet, you’ll tolerate a little bit.”

Then she was offered to learn how to park, which the woman decidedly refused. Same, I will learn.

On the suggestion of my husband to pack the same evening, the neighbor became angry and driven out.

A couple of days passed, the neighbor stopped greeting, and on any complaints stumbled.

I had to act radically.

A friend took a cake, an egg, and went.

He knocks and says he wants to reconcile.

She was opened, but there was a warning that the car would stand like this!

Then a friend gets an egg out of her pocket, throws it on the floor and says, "Don't see you happy, like not to become this egg whole, if in half an hour you do not fulfill my will."

After 15 minutes the son arrived and somewhere took the car and the mother in it. Probably to train.

I can only guess what these people have in their heads.

There lived with my grandmother two cheerful goats, a cheerful pig and a catshound.
Question: What did your grandmother grow in her garden?

Therefore, when a friend of Cole called from a distance and offered to meet someone at the airport, I only asked how to know this type and where to deliver it without giving the greedy drivers to eat the yellow stock mules.

You will find out and be pleasant with her. They told me intriguingly.

– Oh! The Lady. The good? I speak playfully.

“Two weeks ago, when I saw her the last time, she was damn good. says Cole. – Nefertiti, ass, titi, but down the rounds to the empty ones, Sem. Verochka only has a connector flight in your wasteland, so show her the sights of Sheremetyevo and land on the right flight, and there I will meet her.

The enthusiasm has disappeared. The cockroach was a jump, and seized by another, what is called.

“And what,” I say boredly, “can the lady herself not see the sounding X-rays at the entrance, the registration stands and the firm trucks? Do you need a trunk for your suitcase? Sorry friends, but...

The rooster pulled out the leg. Colin says stealing. “But the other end is whole, and you will regret not seeing this magnificent half-greatness.

I squeezed a little and rushed to the place where the aircraft are spinning back and forward and boldly picked up the luggage, and a glass of beer at the price of the transatlantic flight, if you go down over the Middle-Atlantic ribbon and continue to crack.

“Her face still kept traces of former beauty...” came to mind when Verochka appeared. Immediately, as the crowd of arrivals stumbled, my caretaker was stolen by an airport employee.
To not scare the encountering and potential passengers in one person. For Verochka seemed to have fallen out of the TU-154 and hit the stake.
More often, from the resorts of Africa come cheerful, ardent, ready for new accomplishments... Verochko, as if they were trying to mummify. In Egypt, weakness is fed to this procedure, which slows down ageing. But the secrets of skill are irrevocably stolen.
Verochka had a negligently hipped leg, head movements controlled by the neck corset, the left wrist in bandages, the right, bended arm wrapped to the langet and torches in front of the chest in the spirit of "We will drink for health without choking!" In short, a disappointing spectacle.
The charming beauty, who pulled her foot on aerobics near the pool, turned out to be a special one who suffered the fall of a iron meteorite.
I wavered and did not immediately pick up the words suitable for such an unexpected and sad date.

We are pleased to welcome you to our city! We are happy everyone! I said and put flowers. A poor man on his knees.

She kindly moved her fingers, and the guest handed me the controls of the wheelchair. I wondered if I should not go to the medical center for a dressing.

Where to? I questioned the creature, thinking I heard it.

Go to the bar. She repeats, removing me from thinking. The bar is better than rolling the ball, provoking a massive flight ticket delivery, and I gave a small move.

Give the third courage. She says she is impatient. It was dry in the throat.

In the bar, she ordered a strong cocktail. I armed the drink with strawberries. I also had to sing Verochka – her fingers were only helpless.

She demandingly stretched out her lips, I elegantly inserted the tube, and Vera uninterruptedly absorbed half the glass.

and aa! Talk to a whistle. He drinks greedy. I ordered more.

A hundred Bourbons. He asks and adds. Something bone breaks. It seemed to have gone through the illuminator, ha-ha!

Apparently, the increased life activity of Verokoch was not to occupy...

A bourbon flashed into her, and the traveller's eyes glittered like that frog who sat down on a duck.

Where were they? I ask. To come up with the question of what happened would be the top of the township. And without that, the plaster is fattened – something unpleasant happened to me, gentlemen, but don’t bother. Let’s do the beautiful.

Where were they?

In Egypt.

How about the pyramids?

She eloquently moved her fingers - the ohuen pyramids, say. Do you not see yourself?

And the sarcophagi?

She looked so I understood – and the sarcophages were dirty.

I sit down, think, what else to say, like she herself: – This is a very unsafe country Egypt. He says, insulting the sponges.

She is meticulous...

The poor girl, apparently, needs to speak out, I decided. Stepped on her homeland, drank a stone – a known case...

What are you? I speak with interest.

and yes. I do not advise. A couple recently left at sea. They ate sharks. On these Egyptian foolish motives filmed. I recommend.

and c!

Yes, she continues to. Camels are healthy to sleep, and in a hotel it is easy to get poisoned to death. Particularly salads... Walks on the Nile and discos with burned bush are dangerous – crocodiles and young Egyptians don’t sleep.

Excursions through the desert on quad-cycles often end tragically. No security techniques. A group of tourists fell from the pyramid of Cheops.

Fast, I think, so did the camel, the olive, or the pyramids deceive you?

And she crawls Egypt, as Moshe Dayan and artillery did not wing during the Six-Day War. And I understand her. After an hour and a half, the registration for her flight was opened, but no secret was revealed – what happened to Faith in the false land of the pharaohs?

Farewell to warm. I was very sorry for her, but the woman was pretty.

Call me, send me, meet me. So what happened to our girl?

And he says, "The club marked the pre-pre-last day of vacation, she turned from the dance six. The neck spine broke.

A shit... I say. – Or it’s six for jumping high... She’s all eradicated, poor girl...

This is after the club. says Cole. “She wanted to dive from the balcony into the swimming pool – her room with access directly to the swimming pool.

– and?

We walked in another room.

A. The Bollywood

Women don’t like rain because it throws their faces down to factory settings.