300 years

Far or far, three thousand kilometers from the capital, in the sun-flowered working village, there lived a little girl Valya and had her best friend Luba.

The girls were in second grade and all eight years as long as they remembered, they were strong friends.
But one day a trouble happened - the beloved father moved the train (drunken fell asleep on the rails)
The whole world was buried and here they realized that Lubba was left completely alone, her mother died during childbirth, so the girl lived with her father in a barracks.
Luckily, it was not time to send Lubu to the children's home, she found a aunt - a father's sister from Leningrad itself.
And while the girl was waiting for her aunt, she lived in the house of Valy’s friend.
A month later, my aunt went on vacation and came for a day and a half. She gathered her niece on a long road, stayed overnight, and in the morning, thanked Valy's parents, ticked out Leningrad's address, sat down with a snorkeling Люба on the trail and, as it turned out, took her forever to the distant Leningrad.

Walia was reluctant. She cried all day. How is her love alone in a strange stone Leningrad? It’s so crazy away – five days on the train.

In Valy, in the whole white world, there was only one real girlfriend - Masha, Masha was a huge, dull turtle, the size of a good bowl. She constantly, with knowledge of the matter, chewed the apples and, without blinking, stared at the girl, only - it helped little.
But the trouble does not come alone, on one beautiful, sunny morning, Valu got a new tragedy - Masha disappeared, and after all, she would never swallow her nose even in an open pot, she was not so stupid to crawl out on the street, and Alabai - Sharik, would not let go, would curl the run back.

The girl turned the whole house, but the turtle was nowhere, only a bowl of water was left.
For a week, the whole street heard as from morning to late evening, Valya walked on the sidewalk bushes and canyons and all cried: "Masha! The little girl! Go to me. Where are you! I have courage. Masha, Masha, go home!”
Valerie’s parents were terribly upset at this time. As it turned out many years later, this mother took Masha on the bus, to the other end of the village, kilometers in six, and there and released on the lawn. At first, my mom always disliked this healthy, dull turtle and called it a stone, and that morning, my mom stumbled on Masha in the dark, fell and barely broke her head - because of this and psychanula, and quietly got rid of Masha. Then, of course, I regretted it was too late. Even to that grass, I was looking, but where there...
Valya fell into complete despair, because in addition to the disappearance of her last girlfriend, with her disappeared the hope to contact Anyway.
The whole trouble is that Valya, like any little girl, unconditionally believed in good tales - this played a wicked joke with her: After breaking up with Any, Valya for several days dealt with the Leningrad address on paper and a hundred times a day, hid it and hid it, so as not to lose it, but suddenly looked at Maska and here the girl came to the head a simple and brilliant idea - but after all, the turtles live for three hundred years.
This is where 100% guarantee, reliability and stability! Without long thinking, Valya snorted a chemical pencil and for three centuries wrote an address on a turtle armor.
What are three centuries? A couple of days and neither the turtles you, nor the addresses, nor the paper somewhere stumbled for the unnecessary. Ahhhhhhhhhh...
This is where the poor Walia suffered. Who knows how it doesn’t happen in fairy tales?

The summer passed, the autumn came, and one morning, early in the morning, Valya jumped out with a wallet from home and out... almost came to the postman Maska.
Masha, as nothing happened, was sitting on the doorstep and chewing the apples that were dried on the newspapers, and next to him was the happy Sharik.

It is even difficult to imagine: a huge turtle, a whole summer, a piece of spring and a bit of autumn, went back home through the whole village. (Apparently turtles are called wise not only for the expression of the face) After all, she, the miserable, in addition to the compass, needed to have considerations that you can only walk at night, bypassing dogs, boys and trucks. Valya did not believe her eyes, she hugged and kissed Masha chewing apples, and her mother's heart fell away, on the joys she even began to allow to fold Masha on the table.
But here is the trouble, for the long and dangerous journey, with the machine armor, the rain, almost washed off the entire address of Lubin. The numbers were still more or less read, but the street, or "8th March", although it is unlikely, and maybe "Peace", but it is also unlike. I don’t understand, even cry, and you won’t ask the Woman, she doesn’t know the matter at all.
It was necessary to see how Valin's dad stood on the table, raised the Turtle to the lamp itself, turned it and so and so, through the glasses, studied the letters and sketched: "Mush, don't battle, calm down, and so the hell can't break it up, and you are still shaking!"
And Masha, as a cosmonaut, quietly talked in the air with her legs and absolutely did not feel like a flash with the most important information.
And a couple of days later, unexpectedly, at school, Valino's name received a letter: "Hello Valia, I was waiting for a letter from you, but you for some reason forgot me and I decided to write to our school, I remember where you live, but I don't know your address..."

P.S

After many years and a thousand letters, when Valya had grown up, she still came to Leningrad, found Maratha Street, and finally met with her childhood girlfriend.
Then Valya got married, gave birth to three children, one of which was me... although - it is already quite different...
I call my mom...

When you avoid taxes, somewhere the child of an official who lacks Bentley and cocaine is crying.

Eulb3: Someone is blowing candles on their birthday, and I’m cooking 19 pellet.

Q: Why did you stop communicating with that company? You have always been together, right?
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Ohhhhhhhh?
We are sitting at Slavik. We are missing. Andrei suggested: "Let’s play the cards for dressing." I refused. So he gives me "Okay, what are you? Why did I see you naked?" Where did you see me?" - I say. And when you were going to swim, when we were sitting with you, I was always looking at you in the window over the door."Slavik: "And I!"Dan: "And I!"The others were also there. All of. of Birth. It was as if I had no pants :(

"Government" we already know, we will write next to "Health funeral"...

You can also "PolyKillLink" add=))

P is a boy, D is a girl.
The scholarship has arrived.
P: Agha, 2960
D is 5850.
Q: I have a member more.
D: And thank God...

XX: I have an idea. Once such a drunkard has gone with the deterioration of education in the country, then, probably, it makes sense to find in every subject the key points that you need to crush the young breed.
WOW: Let me explain.
XX: For example, a geography teacher should hardly invest in the memory of students that Russia is on the same latitude with Canada, not with the United States, so wait in Moscow for the weather, as in Washington (which is approximately on the latitude of Madrid) - the top of idiotism. But if you want to be equal to the United States, equal to Alaska, the Aleutian Islands.
WOW: It is interesting. And yet?
XX: The teacher of chemistry should find out that of all alcohols you can only use the ethyl, which is C2H5OH, and then it will be digested.
UUU: In anticipation of the new examples, will I dare to assume that they relate to Russian language and mathematics?
XX: -Tsya and -Tsya is generally as a table of multiplication to know. Which few know, by the way. I am speaking to you as a math teacher.
You know, don’t tell chemistry teachers about your ideas.
It was 😉 😉 😉 😉

"Nick must be original"

A long time ago, just starting to use the Internet, I chose a nick from one little-known book. When I wanted to read it again, I searched in the internet, but it wasn’t there! Nick was absolutely unique. A couple of years later I tried to find this book again - I did not find it, but I found two more with my nickname. It was the first time I really wanted to kill a man. Two people, to be precise.

And the most heroic is to twist a pot of pigeons in a forty-degree frost at high humidity!

Our tester is very bulging, everyone knows about it. Today when a man from the neighboring department came in and asked, “Warner, do you have an alcohol tester?” we showed him our tester without any humor. He thought for a long time about what we wanted to say, and we, in turn, thought for a long time about what he didn’t like about our tester we showed him.
When it came to us that he was asking for the device, we hit and began to roar loudly. Chel, apparently, thought we were idiots and left without saying anything.

I invented my religion. I will worship the dream.
Tagged with: "sleep"

I hear the sound of the iron curtain falling down.

There is a radio shop in the city. The owner of the store does not like the word "radio details"... Dialogue by phone with him (he is also the seller):
I, - Allo, are these radio details?
He is – No. (He hangs the phone)
I think I was wrong with the number. I call again:
I, - Allo, are these radio details?
He is – No. (He hangs the phone)
I suspect something...I call back:
Hello, is this a store?
The pause...
He is yes.
Do you have radio details?
He, with anger in his voice, was not radiated! The electronic components.
I am, and I will be. (He lifted the phone)

The cryptocurrency exchange:
Noctradamus: kesha587, moreover, the home plants of Russians emit oxygen that terrorists can breathe, according to MPs.

Irina: I noticed that you feel somewhat calmer and more confident at work when you’re on vacation.

A German doctor made the correct diagnosis thanks to the series "Doctor House"
I thought it would happen someday xD :)

... will anyone tell all these people about paper sparkles or will they die, sick, ignorant?

In universe the same) I take the exam on the comp, in the tests. With me I have a printed tap, in which of 1000 tests there are only those 25-30, in which you need to insert numbers (well, I don't go for such tests, they don't go). The rest I just learned.
The gender of the group is copied from the phones.
I am burning by a teacher with a paper fork, I think everything will be taken away now, if not expelled.
And he instead rejoiced as the child began, say, so long ago did not see students with paper spurs, all with phones and phones.

Case from life: broke the newly purchased vacuum cleaner of the company "XHHH" I call the warranty workshop I talk to the girl operator:
(I)- Service center of the company "xhx"?
(D) Yes what do you have?
(I)- the vacuum cleaner broke, he is still on warranty, wanted to know your service address
Do you have a repair or replacement?
I don’t know, I would like to replace.
D – What about him?
(I) I don’t know...he’s whispering loudly, but he doesn’t whisper.
(D) Here you are all the same men, unless they are replaced immediately.
(I) Emm girl, are we still talking about my vacuum cleaner?
(D) Go you... short guts
P.S I didn’t call back 😉

Zombiracer: We had one big boss who didn’t build anything out of himself. I was riding a motorcycle. I smoked an electronic cigarette. We gave him a cinderella on a motorcycle. He was delighted :)

We got married on 21.12.12 at the end of the world.
And after a certain time, we started all down, what we wanted to not be able to do, my husband's business is not profitable.

The commentary:
For the first time I meet a person who still believes in the end of the world over the past year %(