bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №77845
 23.02.2013
Arthem
I cannot not talk about her.
I love her)

Denis
The Clay)

Arthem
I feel like an alert when a mass of 100 objects is transmitted to him.
I am overwhelmed by [Object Object]

Denis
Gentleman
This is the sweetest thing I’ve heard in my life.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №77844
 23.02.2013
The Knight Jedi
The girls covered the grass and gave us cups.
The Knight Jedi
The circles are ugarny.
The Knight Jedi
The Black Circle
The Knight Jedi
You pour hot water, it becomes white, and there is your rose.
The Knight Jedi
Well, here, of course, I was distinguished by my fucking humor.
The Knight Jedi
We listened to the company’s congratulations and
The director says: "Now you will not confuse the circles".
And then such a silence was born, in which I say quietly: "And here is this uncomfortable moment, when you drink coffee, and on the cup in your hand appears the roar of Denis... and on his cup - the roar of Salt... "
The Knight Jedi
Gogot of the crowd. All the pieces are in one closet. We made them all there - a crowd of the same circles (15 pieces). On Monday there will be a game "the lucky man" - who will hit his circle.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №77843
 23.02.2013
>...They gave a map and asked the brighter to circumnavigate the contours of the Vladimir region. So I decided to catch the pieces of Ivanovskaya and Nizhny Novgorod region! I never felt so omnipotent!

Yes okay. When we studied at school in Soviet times, we had one twin, painting on the contour map of the country of the socialist bloc (yes, our twin even did lessons), got caught up and also painted Japan to the territory of the USSR. Unfortunately, the Japanese did not see it.
What is there, in fact, like this? The country was huge, some Japan was bigger, some Japan was smaller... At such a size it was insignificant, one could ignore it.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №77842
 23.02.2013
I walk on the sidewalk today, a guy is going in front of me. Passing by a slide lying on the asphalt, it pins it once, and then passes by.
I approach the slope, pin, and then I pass by.
After a short period of time, I hear a blow on my back...

[ + 30 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77841
 23.02.2013
Very good tea, Ceylon tea.
No to Boston.
He did not talk to me anymore.)

Explain, for the sake of the holy...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №77840
 23.02.2013
Chelyabinsk is really tough! When I broke out of work on February 15 (going through the ruins of the collapsed ceiling), took my daughter from the d/sadiq and flew to the 5th floor to rescue my husband, who remained b/telephone, I was met with a sincere surprise - it turns out that my husband decided that the boys had exploded something on the street! And at the employee, the father thought that Salmash (the fireworks factory) started extraordinary tests! We live in Chelyabinsk!


[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №77839
 23.02.2013
To the representative of the respiratory minorities: "Andrey: You make us the pydoras of some smoke parade we will soon hold. To demonstrate that we are also humans. and other breathing directions"
You make yourself a pederast when you smoke people at the stops, smoke children with cigarettes, throw cigarettes under your feet. Learn to respect others, then you will also be regarded as people. The poor.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №77838
 23.02.2013
In Moscow, a tram shot down a drunk pedestrian, after which he fled in an unknown direction.

Trains are like that today.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №77837
 23.02.2013
This mysterious moment of waiting: foam or socks.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №77836
 23.02.2013
How do you run in the morning?
See also: AHA But yesterday I realized that I was a bad man and a loser. and (
HHH: Is it so?
I run quietly, a girl is in front of me. I walked past her, she went and ate an apple. It sounds like I heard it in my headphones. Overtaken and overtaken. A hundred meters in front of a stop. Then the bus appeared. And suddenly I hear how this girl behind me with a terrible thump broke and not only took that hundred in 10 seconds, but still did not stop all this time to eat an apple! in the winter. In the frost. on the run. Eat an apple. O_O
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
WOW has succeeded. What kind of bus is this? With such sports data, it would be possible to get to work faster than the bus. Have breakfast on the road. 😉

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №77835
 23.02.2013
Conversation with a colleague.
Stacey Electricist... Do you know that?
2 is yes.
1: Who is it?
2 the electric.
1: Oh, and probably his name is Stas!
2: Do you know him too?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №77834
 23.02.2013
The mother in the car entertains the child.
- Here you see this TEC, thanks to it comes into our homes warm.
Commentary of husband:
The warmth in our homes comes thanks to the miracle of God.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77833
 23.02.2013
Today, all the men in our company received a letter of the following content:

The guys,

I demand from now on to take the following rule: squeezed past the toilet - take a paper towel and carefully wipe out your urine from all the objects that squeezed.

This is an elementary simple thing. I had to come to the sorting room and with disgust take a towel and wipe the point from the urine.

To those who again violate this rule: I will personally go to the sort and give puzzles there, I will explain a number of rules concerning ethics and morality in an unpleasant form.

I do not recommend discussing this letter or telling me whether you are referring to a point or not. It is enough that from now on this shame stops.

To everyone who received this letter: confirm to me in response that the letter has been received, read and accepted for execution.


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №77832
 23.02.2013
Basil: The bugs are mocking. I got a bottle of liquor. Chocolate for 10 grams. Fuck they will work.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №77831
 23.02.2013
lesbian28430: Xedin: I heard you experienced girl
lesbian28430: I heard
Xedin: lesbian28430, not falling, sunny)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №77830
 23.02.2013
Religious fanatics are only those who do not know their religion or others.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №77829
 23.02.2013
British prosecutors took written testimony from police dog

Prosecutors in the UK were so persistent that they forced a police dog to testify in one of the trials. The four-legged police constellation named Persik was asked by the prosecutor's office several times to inform him in writing about the details of the arrest in which he participated. The owner’s attempts to explain that his guardian never knew how to write and was unlikely to learn, were unsuccessful.
The patience of the master Persik broke out, and he decided to testify himself. On a form specially designed for this, an ingenious police officer wrote with a child's handwriting: "I pursue him. I bite him. A bad man. He is tasty. Peach is a good boy.” In the "Age" column, the dog's owner indicated that the witness was four years old, and instead of a signature drawn a fingerprint of the right front of the dog's foot. The masterpiece quickly broke into the pages of British police officers on social networks. The reaction of prosecutors – in particular whether they considered Persick’s testimony convincing – is not.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №77828
 23.02.2013
Here the Americans, after the fall of the Chelyabinsky meteorite, were very surprised that almost every Russian car has a video recorder. They don’t even know about baseball.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №77827
 23.02.2013
You don’t want to share your husband (wife, lover, thief) with anyone? Do not drink!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №77826
 23.02.2013
<MikeMouse>: It is reliably known that the inventor of LSD absorbed it with his fingers
<pizza>: and engaged in cycling
<MikeMouse> is a good idea.
<MikeMouse>: Driving home through parallel worlds

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna