bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №106174
 01.12.2014
In 1945, when Charlie Swart was serving in the occupied Japan, he began to have problems with alcohol. He was arrested several times for driving drunk, found unconscious at the door of his apartment, whiskey and garlic were constantly ripped from him. However, Charlie claimed that he practically did not drink, and his wife, who secretly marked the level of fluid in the bottles at home, confirmed his words.

Charlie went to various doctors with his problem, but no one could find anything. It was obvious that alcohol somehow appeared in his body, but what exactly - no one could understand. Charlie himself interrupted all medical literature in search of similar cases (after the army he arranged to work in the PIA department of the Colorado Association of Doctors), but found nothing. Many doctors believed that he was able to get drunk somehow even in the hospital and even Charlie himself for a time was not sure that it was not the case.

In the 1960s, Charlie went on a high-protein diet to lose weight. Attacks of unexplained alcoholism have become significantly less frequent. His doctor could not explain why it was so, and it was only later that Charlie understood that it was not a large amount of protein that was important, but a low amount of carbohydrates.

Once, in the 1970s, he had dinner with a representative of a pharmaceutical company and shared his problem. He said he had seen a similar case in medical literature and promised to send him an article. He actually sent the article, but it turned out that his memory failed and the article was not medical, but in the Time magazine from 1959. It was about a Japanese man who also proved to everyone that he wasn’t drinking, but at the same time regularly looked drunk. Japanese doctors conducted a lot of tests on it and found the only health problem - yeast infection in the intestines. After a course of anti-drought drugs, his symptoms of alcoholism disappeared.

Charlie immediately went to the doctors and they actually found him having a yeast infection. The first therapy was unsuccessful - yeast gained resistance to mycostatine, but in 1975 with the help of more powerful agents yeast from Charlie was still poisoned. Thirty years of drunkenness ended.

Yeast infections are common in humans, but in this case Charlie was "lucky" and he got a strain in which the process of sugar metabolism was disrupted. Instead of their complete oxidation, yeasts stopped at the alcohol stage. As a result, after eating any carbohydrates, Charlie received a dose of alcohol.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №106173
 01.12.2014
Could you talk to your father? For a whole year after our wedding he lives with us... Maybe he will go to a sanatorium or somewhere to the sea for a week or two?
“Sorry, dear, but I was convinced all this time that it was your father.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №106172
 01.12.2014
The magnetic refrigerator:
What kind of country is Eugen?
and??? This is Egypt...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №106171
 01.12.2014
What caused you to have sex? The normal physiological need is to suck.
But nobody for some reason is concerned about how to squeeze more interesting today, does not boast to friends that yesterday in the night class such a toilet was squeezed...
The answer is simple: a stereotype. You’ve got in your brain that you need to have sex. More and more often, you need to get more pleasure from sex... pleasure, by the way, is not as great as you are told and shown in the movies.
Imagine that you will be beaten into the brain, that you need to rub at least eight times a day, will advertise super soft toilet paper and various laxatives - what will happen to you in the end?
It’s the same with sex now. "a-a, I didn’t get a fuck today – I’m a loser! "a-a-a! everything is not as I saw in the movie - I failed!" "I need to try again, maybe then it will be better"
Just throw that sex nonsense out of your head – and live for yourself, not as they show in the movies. The movie lies.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №106170
 01.12.2014
Today is the last day of the month, pay online! And it is better immediately and for January, at the end of December will not be before payment, and an unpleasant surprise on January 1 will squeeze the mood.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106169
 01.12.2014
to this
— — —
About the household girls.
For 25 years, my lover wrote that I am a prostitute because I am easy to wake up.
— — —
Girl, make yourself men who love to embrace and know how to make friends. As a rule, their brightness in bed does not repel, but delights. For reference: in Russia, problems with sex culture, looking for sensual and emotional men need to be thoughtful, attentive and patient.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №106168
 01.12.2014
From the online chat game:
...
Leicester is out of the game.
Legends entered the game.
Legesh: Sorie, problems with the inuit (
Is it flying out?
Leges: Wife router turns off, so that I should pay attention to her (

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106167
 01.12.2014
This is:

I am too gambling and also a loser. I like one girl from work, until we communicate, I wait for the moment when we go together, for example, in the same subway car. They usually bring us after work to the subway, so she usually stands at the door nearest to everyone and quickly goes to the subway, there runs on the escalator and runs into the wagon, so that I just don't have time. Today I was lucky with a seat at the door, I went out before everybody and walked on a proven route and managed to get ahead of it! But! She didn’t... exaggerate.

Well, at least you definitely have a topic to start a conversation now! “Well, I’ve finally caught you, untouchable bastard! What are you doing tonight?"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106166
 01.12.2014
The stupid.
In the "non-Russian language" One girl has been on the wall for 20 years: "A friend is known in be". I am in trouble, fucking!! to

In the last century, the Petrosian people laughed from the scene. The girl just respects old jokes. She has a stupid surrounding.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106165
 01.12.2014
My first morning in Sydney started with a nightmare. Right under the windows there were monstrous, penetrating cries... Having caught yesterday’s passages and running out in trousers to the balcony of my first floor, I saw several opposite species of birds who, as it turned out, were roaring on the lawn in front of the hotel. And the women confused by my appearance brought onto the plates of these creatures the cut fruit.
from the barracks on them. I suggested to women.
“Good Moning, Mr,” the ladies said, smiling advertising.
“Cucabarra,” said one, pointing to the bird.
“Cucabarra hasn’t eaten well in the morning,” I noticed, then, stretching my pants and a false smile on the cowbarra’s angry forehead, I went out again to the ladies, smoking a cigarette.
and Noah! Noah could! - the women and something like, say, cocabare is harmful tobacco smoke! And so every day, at five in the morning, the exhausting cry of the cowbarra, and the unhappy sleeping women, obeying the instinct of pity, bring her the fruits prepared from the evening, not forgetting to greet me: "Bongur, messie!"... She used to drive around the city and eat snakes. He catches the snake by the head, rises up high with it to the sky and throws it on stones. Then she realized that it was easier to extract food, pressing a disgusting scream on the consciousness of the Australians, and almost completely settled in the city. Therefore now in the bush of snakes - no place to walk!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106164
 01.12.2014
A few of my own conclusions on the subject of who should take the first step. This is by no means a guide to action – just read and think.

-First, as a rule, the first step is taken by the guys themselves who are simply "hearted" to fuck. Very often, these are the ones that later turn out to be m*daks;
Secondly, the guys who do not show initiative often get very rare and valuable copies.
Third, often for a single girl, communication with a guy has no deep meaning: a girl can communicate with a guy simply in a friendly way.
Fourth, a lonely guy who communicates with a girl most often thinks they are in a relationship.

From here conclusions:

First, girls looking for normal guys, it is desirable to pay attention to those of them who just calmly communicate with them and treat them with sympathy;
Secondly, these guys don’t take the first step, because their life experience has taught them that most girls communicate with them as friends and no more.
Third, these guys won’t "wipe their legs" about a girl who has shown initiative.

I’m not saying that girls should take the initiative altogether—oh, no. But communicate with. Spend a few days just communicating. Communication will help you determine whether the person is adequate or not. Find the common "point of contact". And the convergence will unnoticedly happen on its own, you will not notice how easy and simple it all worked out.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №106163
 01.12.2014
of this (the

The son brought a double in literature for his work on Dostoevsky. Show me the composition. I opened the notebook, I read: "Attack of lazy and on Kazan". I have finished the book."

The bad news is that your son is a non-Russian.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106162
 30.11.2014
Fuck the students, fuck them all! Go quietly crush with your crocodiles and let saliva on their bouquets! Nothing to eat? by Ibartin!
— — —
The student. I clean up at night in the supermarket. and 2/2.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106161
 30.11.2014
A little about overload.
and Linux:
- here you have the drawings of the scroll, here you have the glue, the rubber and the pump, continue to fuck as you know.
The Uzer:
The bulk! Oh, he was swimming out.
The Sindoes:
- here you have a hole circle, here you have an OTC sticker, glue and pump you will find yourself, fuck as you know.
The Uzer:
The bulk! It is your mother! The bulk! The Pammy! Oh, he was swimming out.
of IOS:
Here is this magnificent and perfectly refined Air Ball with a magnificent Gradient. What about glue and pump? not placed! And drawings give here, we’ll burn them, it’s illegal. And, by the way, leave the credit card number, as we will look for it later, it will not pop up.
The Uzer:
I can imagine how the poor suffer. How magnificently I swim...what? None to None! of Pamagiti! Someone to!
The bulk.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №106160
 30.11.2014
Ho-ho-ho, I live all the living, only Lenin lives me.
222: U... All his life wanted to know, but what inventory number is Lenin’s mummy?
Hm... Do you think the leader of the proletariat has an inventory number?
222: Everything in this world is possible.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106159
 30.11.2014
Something I can’t force myself out of the house.
Throw your cigarettes in the shower and wait an hour and a half.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106158
 30.11.2014
One morning, I wake up with my husband, car-embracing, here I remember my dream and say:
I dreamed today that I had a romance with Boyarski.
My husband is upset!
I: Oh, he is old.
The husband is even more upset: And that’s the only thing that annoys you? 0 - O

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №106157
 30.11.2014
In winter, all women are divided into two types: they never wear hats and wear hats everywhere.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №106156
 30.11.2014
Yes, no, lady, "in Zags"- these are your wishes. and :)
Here I am, young, healthy and beautiful. I don’t give flowers and gifts, I want to fuck, I don’t hide wishes. Why do you all divorce me on a relationship with Zack in the prospect of what I am doing wrong?
– – – – –
You forget to pay for everything. You can call the "bubbles-bubbles" and pay for sexual services with money. It’s quick, but it’s a pity. You can’t spend a penny and beat an ordinary girl for sex. But you will have to pay anyway - with signs of attention, with your free time. This is called the "relationship". You can get sex from young and lonely. You won’t have to spend money, you won’t have to start "relationships". But you will be foolishly used and sent out, and it is still unclear who will eventually catch who, you or you. You pay with your self-esteem. I explain clearly? and choose. Up to 2 variants "no relationship".

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №106155
 30.11.2014
I read a local sex chat... эхh... and that idea was good – with tape.
Women who want sex wear red.
Married and Blue.
Who wants relationships - purple (like the transition from red to blue).
Who wants to be friends and communicate - green.
Anyone who doesn’t want white.
You can even combine colors within reasonable boundaries.
That is beauty!! Everyone would live much easier. Let’s make the world better together, right? and ;)
ZY: And if the ribbons are also reflective - in general, it is useful. and ;)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna