Optimists think that the basket is half empty, while pessimists think that it is half full.

Friendship, in general, is when a timid milkshaker tries to establish close relationships with the opposite sex, and that in every way enjoys the attention given, not responding with reciprocity, often hiding his indifference. No one owes anything to anyone, of course, just some are outraged by the severity of such exploitation.

44: A friend in fact, when your milkshaker is a hypocrite. He does not respond with reciprocity, he pretends that everything is fine, pretends that he is ready to be friends, communicate, impose himself in every way, may even win trust and sympathy, and himself all this time treats the girl as a free prostitute who was obliged to serve him. Exploitation - the lies of the friends themselves, who give gifts from which they can not refuse out of politeness, depict deadly grievances if they are asked not to do so, and then sincerely imagine that it is needed by someone other than themselves. In fact, it is rather a girl (but the victim is usually assured in every way that he is happy to communicate with her and that she is interesting as a person), who spends his time and attention on the unpleasant person "why offend him", and then gets a blast of shit.

When signing a contract with the devil, do not forget to remove the box from the section "Install Yandex.Browser".

Installed a video surveillance system. We look, we record, we re-examine. What next?!..

As one submarine said: “The first month of sailing we just watch a movie. The second is to look backwards. On the third, we watch without sound, we voice by roles."
Z is. He served for a long time, then the movies were seen on film projections.

In the comments on YouTube, discuss the illusions of perception:
When you lie in bed with your eyes closed, you can imagine that you are lying on the other side of the bed and in a few minutes you will feel like you are actually lying on the opposite side of the bed.
Yyy: The same thing happens if you wake up, without opening your eyes, try to understand which side you are on and which side you lie with your head, you don’t always understand what to do, for example, you think that face to wall with your feet to the window, and it turns out to be the opposite :)
Zzz: And it happens when you wake up with your eyes closed and think you are lying in your bed, and then you open your eyes, and you are lying in a hole in the woods.

A funny story was told today by a friend, at the university, where he works, he was caught and expelled by the physician. The man, automatically set accounts for everyone who attended 70% of his classes or those who went to any section from the university. Those who did not go - the delivery of norms, the delivery - the bill. But as a rule, nobody handed them over, stupidly during the session, they put 500 rubles in the booklet with the words "mol, we don't have time, let's pay for the sections we allegedly went to." A group of students, who did not go anywhere and did not intend to submit norms, did not like this arrangement, made a collective complaint and knocked on the dean. The teaching was dismissed, and these students, under the supervision of the dean, were forced to pass the norms... The result... 17 people were discharged... The year of study at this university, from 120,000 per year...

I read here in NatGeo, that the worthy sons of those Vikings, who in unprecedented times chased the bush of mushrooms, worthyly continue the business of grandparents and learned to chase the gin from ants...

The boss walks around the office and sings:
Where is the profit?
Where is our profit?
Let us raise profits.
Let us dance!

All the men:
They want to fuck as many bodies as possible.
B. That bodies cease to be such prostitutes.

What strange men.
Not sleeping with women.

Chinese scientists in the summer of 2016 will conduct the world’s first experiment to implement quantum teleportation to a distance of more than 1200 kilometers. For this, physicists plan to launch a satellite in June 2016. For their project, a team of scientists won a grant of $30,000.
XXX: 30 thousand dollars, Carl!
XXX: They will do everyone!
And if you give them a million dollars, they will invent an antigrave and get rid of it!

XHH: They sent me a questionnaire here. The task. Hell with him, with the task, did, but then the idiotism began. I, applying for the position of the front end, am asked, among other things, whether I am familiar with the duties of Sisadmin (this would be shuffled?Do I agree to take responsibilities in any area of the company’s work (and this is yours? washing the floors, keeping the accounting, distributing leaflets?), and then they are obliged to record and send them a VIDEO with a greeting, where the type needs to tell them why they should hire you. By the way, in the question of the salary the highest option was lower than the one-and-a-half times, which I should count on. But all options were offered points - agree to the smallest salary (which is the real subsistence minimum)? You have 5 points. Do you want the biggest? There is no light above you. What was it more?! Put your bodies in your anal. I will not make a video. I walk a little surprised.

I am a translator. A couple of years ago I worked in Germany. Well, in the square of the German Mukhosransk, half of whose inhabitants have never been outside their region, and of the remaining half have not even been in the nearest major city.

The start of the negotiations is delayed, and I have already come, for nothing to do, talking with a representative of the locals - a kind uncle of the years of fifty, who was interested in how I live there in my far-off mysterious Russia. I’m telling: a man, a daughter, a cat, a typical house in the bedroom area...

“Stop,” says Henry. Why do you have a cat? Do you have a mouse on the eighth floor?! to

In general, a man did not understand the concept of a pet for pleasure. He stated that in their town animals are divided into edible, useful and harmful, with which they fight useful. And if there are no mice, then the cat does not fit in the system!

I learned biology in 8th grade. When the topic of the class was just about the most interesting. The teacher asked how we look at multiple sex before marriage. Well, everyone was progressive and everyone agreed that it was great. Here the teacher once again asks the question to the boys: guys raise your hands those who do not mind that his wife has several partners before marriage besides him. No one raised his hand. Here is the lesson the girl told the teacher.

But I called my future wife from the friendship to the zoo only when she vowed to me that she would only work as a perforator after 35 years or two or more children, and the cowards wash every day strictly according to the law, recommended by veterinarians with dry food.

This morning I go to the car park on the snow-cleaned road, and in Msk for two days it fell very even decent. On the sides respectively. Mother and daughter meet me: Mother on the road, and the daughter in blueberry pants and ducks on the roofs penetrates. Mother says to her:

Do you go on the roads when there is a normal road?

The answer was incredibly:

Because I can!

In a child's New Year's gift, candy is called "A woman's bite"

And there are more candy "Coffee Petya"

In one of the social networks:
All the men:
They want to fuck as many bodies as possible.
B. That bodies cease to be such prostitutes.
The first and only commentary:
B is a lie.

xxx: No, well, only the female can ><
YYY: What is she?
xxx: In the apartment, she sits in wool socks, under the cloth, with a heater - and chews the ice cream!

I went to refresh in memory the best quotes (according to rating).
The stories about the gap are confused. I put them back in order.

Have you heard the story of a guy who every time after having sex with his girlfriend put $1 in the coffin for a Christmas gift and you know what he gave her? The Burger!