bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №93132
 28.01.2014
by Fuck!

I tried yesterday a scandalously famous bath with baking soda. She had to make me 2 kg. It is easier to relax before sleeping. He is not aware of the weight, but what relieves is a lie.
It warms and revitalizes. It is impossible to sleep!
A pack of soda for a water bath gives the pH of fetal water. This should lead to a state of peace and tranquility. But it did not come. I felt the power of the carrier.
A place and green.

Women, family you are ours, may you first think of...googling...? You have the internet, but your heads don’t.
See the norms of the pH of tap water (6-9 according to GOST2482) and the pH of amniotic water (7-7,5). Specifically for you, the hydrogen index of water from your crane is determined by the universal indicator paper - pH-7 (neutral).
Pull water and sit down, why do you need soda there? Should the skin dry after bathing?
It is better to add a pack of sea or ordinary salt. Neurologists say that such baths have a good effect on the nervous system. 37 degrees, sit for 15 minutes. Relax your nerves – you will be less stressed.
Worse than children – the right word!

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №93131
 28.01.2014
We are here in the morning =)
We have a night :R
M: Come to us 😉
Me and Russia are fine.
M: Oh, you’ve been there in Moscow already.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93130
 28.01.2014
Two colleagues at the workplace are a girl and a guy. The guy said something offensive about the girl and noticed the healthy scissors on her table.
Katya, take your knives away.
Kalya takes the line in one hand, knocks on the other:
Who said I was going to cut?
Will you measure?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93129
 28.01.2014
1st :
Why can’t you find a calf?
Or can you just sit down?

2nd :
I'll stop being fat, I'll find it.
I ran yesterday.
So everything goes to the wedding.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93128
 28.01.2014
A bit of intelligent humor.
On the site of classical music decided from which diseases classical music helps, and decided that it absolutely does not help against cough.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №93127
 28.01.2014
The international scandal in Sochi: 10 days left!

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93126
 28.01.2014
to this:
If you come home boozy and can’t go to bed because of the helicopters, you need to...
You need to lie on the bed, but put one leg on the floor. The helicopters are stopped! Learned by a well-known biologist, it works impeccably.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №93125
 28.01.2014

The Seif
You are busy.

Tatiana
I do not know)

The Seif
You do not want to communicate.
! to

Tatiana
I do not even understand you.

The Seif
What your language!

Tatiana
Don't use google translate :D

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93124
 28.01.2014
Dad was placed in the cardiology in the day hospital. In order to read the indicators of the heart, he was attached a sensor that looks like a plastic box attached to the chest, and from it many wires with suckers on the chest and stomach. And here my Tatar father comes home after installing this gadget and in our eyes with my mother takes a patha with the words "Allahu Akbar!" My mom and I, in turn, now call him “Electronic”.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93123
 28.01.2014
to this:
Tchaikovsky, “Uverture of 1812” (video) Probably the only example in history when cannons are prescribed in the partition as a musical instrument.

Wagner, opera The Flying Dutchman. There is a whisper of the wind in the partition!!!! to

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93122
 28.01.2014
In a psychological forum.
My husband has recently experienced stress over his dismissal. He was most nervous when he was not returned for two weeks - then the dismissal was incorrectly compiled, then the director's signature was not put, then the credit cards were cleaned for him (worked in the bank). I finally got my job yesterday. I slept with her all day, lifted her up to the ceiling and said something like, “My sweetheart, the miserable bankers wanted to take her from me.” I had never seen him like that before. Is this a serious psychosis? Should I be worried, should I see a doctor?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №93121
 28.01.2014
Discussion of the Trade Center at the Forum:
I didn’t like our new TC. Especially when the phone doesn’t work. You will find the damn woman where she goes.
2: Under each letter I will sign... I watch a long thread so that it doesn’t fall far.
3: you can buy the cheapest rations + harnesses.
2: you give, so do not make my life easier - for the reason of the rush and the norm! Or to waste...

[ + 56 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93120
 28.01.2014
Moscow and Peter are like a gas pump in a car. Only instead of gasoline they suck money, passing through the filter, where all kinds of sheep, called power, settled. And, judging by the work of the unit, called the country, it is time to change the filter, possibly in assembly with the pump.
__________________________________
Oh yeah yes! Let’s move, please, the capital somewhere to Petroyugansk or Yakutsk (there is oil, diamonds!In the Polar Circle, and a few years later, Msk. and C-Pb Finally, they will be cleared from all these visitors: the vicious, aggressive bloodwashers who come here for a long ruble, hating the city and its inhabitants, but wishing to become the "maaskovy", from which they will not push either in the subway or on the roads; from the garbage, dirty streets, the glut of foreign speech over the city, etc. And again the two capitals will become Moscow and St. Petersburg - the oldest, most beautiful Russian cities with a rich history, culture, and unpoisoned inhabitants.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №93119
 28.01.2014
If someone looks at you from above, try to get up from your knees first.

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93118
 28.01.2014
When I served in the brave Russian army, in the famous landing troops, we had a special "golden" song in the battalion.
When in the battalion some company "flown" (in the sense, someone from the company blamed), then this company in full composition when passing the plateau (while the whole regiment is looking at you) was to perform this song.
As now the picture stands in front of the eyes: we are building 70 brave healthy landers and they are gurgling:
Ablaaaaaaa! The white horses!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №93117
 28.01.2014
The policeman saw the perpetrator, but he was older than him.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №93116
 28.01.2014
XXX: The fish is roasted. :DD
Fuck to Fuck
xxx : xd
Yyy: Her oven should have been :DDDD
XXX: What did you do? xd
Tagged: eaten
XXX: O_o

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93115
 28.01.2014
xxx: Today in the gym while I was on the runway, someone put the Eye of the Tiger, which soundtrack to Rocky
I’ve never been running before.)

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №93114
 28.01.2014
Comments on U.S. boycott of the Olympics:
In 1980, the United States boycotted the Olympics in the USSR for entering troops in Afghanistan to destroy the Taliban. The USSR points to the violation of human rights in the United States by taking the example of tables"The entry of Negroes and dogs is prohibited";
2014 U.S. boycott the Olympics in Russia for "violation of human rights", citing the absence of banned labels "I am gay".
While U.S. troops are in the same Afghanistan deterring the same Taliban. ) )!"

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №93113
 28.01.2014
One of the comments to the news "Emma Watson has watched an apartment for $ 15.5 million"

XXX: Thistle in the laundry or one in the sochi?

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