bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №76665
 30.01.2013
The neighbors burned yesterday.
In the elevator, my neighbor and I.
Baby, what did you do?
Well, yes...
First a cat, now a child.
The elevator door opens and goes out.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №76664
 30.01.2013
From the news:
The SCR concluded that the resident of St. Petersburg Kochnev inflicted on himself five strikes with a knife (in the area of the heart), being under the action of narcotic substances.
...expertise confirmed that all five injuries Cochnev could have caused himself...
(And the Daguestans have nothing to do with it.)

This uncomfortable moment when old jokes become news.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №76663
 30.01.2013
Announcement on site:
Where to hire a clown?
In Administration

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №76662
 30.01.2013
Archie: Just warn the girl that before I work, it’s okay to get there.
and she knows)
Archie: Okay) and the office fuck you find, let it call or remember by the mouth:
The building on the left side of the road, the right staircase-the second floor-the unsigned bell on the right-will open up a huge frightened botan / a huge ragged bubble / a huge and reluctant wart- ask me.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №76661
 30.01.2013
Are you a man or who?
I am who.
HH: In other words, who is he?
Zzzz: Yeah, who is he?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №76660
 30.01.2013
Now politicians only trust their old childhood photographs.

[ + 141 - ] Comment quote №76659
 30.01.2013
Strips on the route

A girl enters the road and there are no free seats. She stands up on the front seat, gets the money, pushing her whole body forward and bending, putting it in the driver’s hand. At the same time, the mini jersey rises, showing all present her naked ass in strings.
The reaction of the passengers is different - the men look with interest, one grandmother turns around, pronouncing - "T-fu". 
Everyone is surprised by the guy - he, who has already paid for the trip, gets the money out of his pocket again and says, "Girl, please pass over again."

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76658
 30.01.2013
I’m an adult man and I need this radio-controlled helicopter!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №76657
 30.01.2013
I understood how Linux is different from the screw, you can beat your head on the keyboard and you will not open dozens of programs that you see for the first time in your life.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №76656
 30.01.2013
Only three headlines.
1st Fountain "Friendship of Peoples" accused of drug propaganda
Yekaterinburg politician held a meeting with the mayor
Police distribute a “photobot” of a marijuana-eaten mouse

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №76655
 30.01.2013
My HTC Sensation (I don’t know how it is with other phones, frankly) when it tells me about low charging levels, additionally turns on a red LED that burns constantly. The suicide?

[ + 27 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76654
 30.01.2013
by GREEM:
I just got back with a harvest from this "child club". They made eight-legged there from the shell of walnuts, plasticine and bushin for the eyes. When he saw the result, the hawr joyfully proclaimed to the whole room: "Kulhu!"
I’m starting to understand how it feels to be proud of a child.)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №76653
 30.01.2013
Two parallel streets. One is called intelligence.
The second is intelligence. After a while, it becomes Ul. The Green.
Yyy: The second intelligence was under cover

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №76652
 30.01.2013
The game WOT, the beginning of the battle. One of the players with the nick "fuck you spilberg". He is asked in the chat: "What, do you not like Spielberg?" Answer: "No, just in all the games I have a nick "spilberg", and here he was busy...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №76651
 30.01.2013
I: Yes and generally, after I installed Linux, there was no sex for 1.5 years
Max: I warned you that Linux is monogamous.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №76650
 30.01.2013
In order to make our sysadmin spit (spit or come) to the user, the latter must at least pull out the patchcard and put the system...

is logical. The rest of the problems normal sisadmin is able to solve remotely.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №76649
 30.01.2013
I am sitting in the bank.
Calls an economist and a hurricane that can't make the table wider, I've tried everything, say, I can't, help!!! to
I go from one office to another. I quietly approached her car.
It looks like, you see, it doesn’t work, but without saying a word, it moves the table and... voila! It all succeeded. I didn’t get my hand out of my pockets.
And I quietly spoke, thank you for coming.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76648
 30.01.2013
The news:
Thanks to the activity of Internet users on the maps of the DPRK, concentration camps for political prisoners have been detected. Detailed information about prisons disguised as cities and villages was made public on the Internet.

The commentary:
On the map of Washington, a terrorist camp disguised as the White House was discovered.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №76647
 29.01.2013
xxx: I look here at the first page of the newspaper, which now lies in the kitchen. Big title: "The most popular Russian actress Svetlana Hodchenkov" - and even bigger photo of her. Who is that, damn damn? The first time I see her. A little above her head is another title: "The secret of people's love for weather forecasts has been revealed." What?? What a secret? What kind of love? What kind of people?
Don’t read Soviet newspapers before lunch.
Hm, there are no others.
Do not read any of them.

[ + 42 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76646
 29.01.2013

My musk (mama) approaches me here and asks me what everybody has for Gangnam Style. I breathed, throwing her on the mail link to YouTube, where the video. She looked, looked and forgot. My father came home late in the evening, he was on a shift. I am going to the bathroom, I am going to the bathroom. The last thing she saw was Musk dragging Batha into their room. I sit in the bathroom and enjoy the warm water. And here the door... no, it doesn’t open, it just flies out. And these two... in a jump, the legs on the laminate ride. Batya, 120 kilograms of pure joy...Something in the middle between the gang and the dance of small swallows.
Gangham style, epic... No, no matter what you say, two fools are power...

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