bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №76565
 28.01.2013
XXX: What is Imho?
This is the God of programmers.
Same as
They are like a rookie.
So they are brothers.
XH: I understand

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76564
 28.01.2013
About the goose that pumped the wheel....."And the girl all applauded STOYA!!and "

A girl can be applauded only for the fact that she pulls bags, the car has her own. I just don’t understand why she needs a husband with a bottle of beer.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №76563
 28.01.2013
Let’s compete who is more lazy?
Q: Why don’t you answer?
You have won...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №76562
 28.01.2013
...Yes, I’ve seen a lot of superbrain translations, but from Dr. House’s mouth the phrase, “Anka, in the tachanka!” sounded strange at least.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №76561
 28.01.2013
From the discussions to the filmization of the book"50 shades of grey":

Do you believe in Summers? 😉 I think a lot of people will watch the movie just because of the fact that they’d “punish” Kristin Stewart if she agreed)))
Do you think that as long as she is punished, her expression will change?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №76560
 28.01.2013
Commentary on the Audiobook:
Ronin123: Where are the screenshots?

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №76559
 28.01.2013
The forbidden fruit is not rotten.

[ + 60 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76558
 28.01.2013
The girl with...

Usually I don't look at people for no reason, and then something locked me and I got on it. There was nothing like that in her. The most ordinary woman, whether accompanying, or meeting someone at the station, or coming from somewhere. Fuck something! My eyes were like drawing a square around her face and started to take a fierce picture.

Surprisingly, the cockroaches in her head also built a digital camera and began to study me closely. My cockroaches turned out to be more sophisticated: they already mentally divided her, removed the dimensions and took on guessing the content of her bag. The bag really caught the attention. She was too small to assume that a woman was going somewhere, but at the same time too big for an ordinary cosmetic. I pretended that you could put about five kilos of potatoes in that bag, and there would also be room for the laptop. This is no longer a bag, but an entire bag.

All that time the woman did not take her eyes off of me. Was it the same love at first sight? God, what am I doing? This is what happens, and I look at the bag! I stood on her face again and even tried to smile. It was probably like Jim Carrey, but I deserved a smile.

And here she touched me. I only had to take five steps, but those five steps seemed like an eternity. Suddenly there was a feeling as if it was about to prove that we have known her for a long time, that all these dwarfs are just an attempt to remember each other. Compared to me, the woman said:

I am from the cut baton!

The UPS! I barely swallowed my tongue. I could only speak:

What or what?

I am from the cut baton! The woman repeated with an exhilarating tone and dissolved in the crowd.

“Thank you,” I said, “I probably felt a complex of guilt for the inhabitants of Mars.

Just think, she’s from a cutting bottle! Here is Jeanne Aguzarov in general from Alpha Centauri, but she doesn’t scream about it at every corner! I’m here, I can say, I’ve mentally drowned her, and she’s out of a cutting bottle!

This story would have been forgotten forever if it had not been my love for sausages. I made a sandwich to tea and got a sliced baton, and there...

Usually I don't look at the packaging of trunks for no reason, and then something locked me back: from the colorful cover of the bakery she looked at me - the girl with the cut trunks.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №76557
 28.01.2013
Record in the school diary: "Your child is swallowing the end of words."
The answer of the parents: “I know, I am rude.”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №76556
 28.01.2013
They get married to fools, and then wonder how the half kingdoms fuck.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №76555
 28.01.2013
XXX is Hi! by Ho. Go to the bathroom?
Where are the buildings, when?
XXX today at 21:00
YYY: How much to take?
xxx: take three and cute))))
Yyy: I am about days))) but the idea is not bad

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №76554
 28.01.2013
X: How do I get involved with music?
YYY: It is very simple. You need to have a bad association with music. Try eating fucking when you turn on the music. When you turn off, drink orange juice.
Yyy: elementary shit in general
Yes, if you don’t like shit.
xxx: )))))))))))))))
Go on the fuck 😉

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №76553
 28.01.2013
What if I contact you?
xxx: I can’t do it.
YYY: Is that why?
Because you’re not a shirt and I’m not a sweater.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №76552
 28.01.2013
Why is Russia intelligent?
Patriarchs are here.
They will give science.
They will rule for a thousand years.
Why is Russia a doctor and a steelmaker?
There is a lawyer and a manager.
He wore French instead of slaves.
And with the boss ran to share the navar
Why the spirit of freedom?
When the salary is a million
The main one is Triton.
It is about fashion.
Why is Russia a Russian man?
When the Tajik Strait Spruddy
Don’t pay – be afraid
Their work will be legendary.
Why is Russia the power of the people?
Every politician is surprised.
It will drown for a dollar.
It will not last for a year.
Why does Russia need a soldier?
Change of socks.
And on the plate I tranche
The general built the house.
Why do we need Russia?
I can’t lick my back.
With any reform, I will
But I still love you.
Russia is my mother.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №76551
 28.01.2013
Tell me you’ve met a guy in the movie.
Tagged with: aaaa
You can’t do that, you’re stupid.
WOW: You do not understand anything.
WOW: If the men in the baumanka learn that I have a man
Few people will talk to me and help me.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76550
 28.01.2013
My daughter comes from school (First grade).
I asked her how the day went, what were you doing?
She told me everything and said, “Behold, only boys make noise and speak bad words.”
I try to figure out what bad words they are saying. The daughter replies that she can't repeat such horrible words, but they start with the letters "P", "B" and "D", after long conjuring it turned out that these are the words "foolish", "foolish", and "balbes".

[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №76549
 28.01.2013
My daughter is going to corporate. I pick up an accessory dress.

D: Dad, is this clutch not very dirty?

What are you, daughter! Excellent beige clutch.

D is Dad! In fact, it is white color.

Q: Ups...
 

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №76548
 28.01.2013
In the new "kaspersky" appeared a remarkable feature: "cloud protection". A personal guardian angel is being sent.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №76547
 28.01.2013
xxx: well, in general, they finally thought about the children, well, how to behave, decided to start with some pet, well, type to care for, to train, in general to feel the burden of care )))
WOW: I don’t know her, of course, but knowing this well, I would advise them to have a cactus, and try to keep it dry.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №76546
 28.01.2013
C to Pikabu:

5 inch high-quality screen
4 to 8 Nuclear nuclei
2 gigabytes of operating memory
The latest Android that on such a beast should work smoothly as iOS (+ plugs that Apple mobile will get years in...three)
New improved camera

... the use of all this good, which in computing power exceeds my first computer 100 times for birds in pigs, is invaluable.

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