The fucking man burned with his lover.
I looked and shouted with joy "Dobby Freedom!", hiding in an unknown direction.

I once worked in a large department as a boss. One evening, when all my colleagues left and I stopped, my wife came to me. Word by word, there was sex, and the wife's trousers slipped on the floor. In the morning, I saw them, cleaned them in my box, and for 2 years safely forgot them.
In the promotion decided to disassemble the shirt, and came to these pants. On the way of their appearance I did not remember at all, so I asked my deputy the most logical, as I thought, question:
Natasha, is it yours?
The astonishment in Natasha's eyes deprived her of the gift of speech, but she was able to shake herself:
– No...
I was very busy thinking about raising to analyze the situation, acted "on the machine", so the same question was asked first to six other women - the inhabitants of the cabinet, and then - the son of Zamdira:
Arcadia, isn’t it yours?

At the same time, there was a new boss in my place, who took over my affairs, and in his view I have many other things: respect for me, and the joy that I did not have to work with me, and the panic from the expected process of establishing contact with the team.

At home, I told my wife the story, and she reminded me where I got those trousers from.

As Arkady later told, the rumors went on for six months.

I sit over my own humor.
Solitary: It was bad.
Lonely people: bad
Solitary: Even though

As the saying goes, show me your monitor and I’ll tell you if you’re eating mandarines at the computer.

I already know how to say in Japanese "Make Me Tea" and "Cat, You're a Fool"
What do you call this cat? 😉 XDDDDD
He didn’t understand Russian when I told him that.
YYY: Do you understand Japanese?
XX: Well he said something, but I probably haven’t come to those words yet.

We realized with proger that we work in the "right" office. The director bowed in front of the accounting office and bought them an offgenic set of cakes so that they could quickly calculate taxes. And there the girls thought-out - brought these cakes to us, that we would not block them social networks and cut off traffic. Do not leave from work)

Office highs somewhere in the hometown:

hidishers: went down to buy a pie - there some woman with a guard will fight him to her - "striped here who got! You do not present a passport, and then everything disappears". His wife - "what is missing from you? The helicopter is out and the helicopter is gone!" (I look and see that the helicopter is really not anywhere nearby...=)))

I have one friend. Boy 195 cm tall and weighing under 100 kg. Because of this, he does not like stretching clothes and wears loose shorts. And he also has curly hair and so he walks in a cap. He came back late in the evening from the store, thinking. Neither in the entrance nor in the street. At the entrance there is a little girl looking for a key to the homephone in her bag. He approaches the girl with a quick step, so that the door does not have time to clog. The girl saw him, whispered out of fear and went up the stairs, almost knocking out the keys. Then the aunt entered the entrance, and the guy stood, the elevator called, waiting. The woman thought, thought and walked. A man is sitting, worried.

There was a case. My friend bought a used car, I have to say, the first car in his life. He asked me to teach him. To get to the watchroom, where we decided, in order to avoid unnecessary casualties, to ride, it was necessary to make a turn. Then he turned back, and then stood up. I so persuade him, and there are no cars a hundred meters away, and in envy of him the right try to leave. and Nifiga. 15 minutes standing. The mentions are already in place, so we are on the turn. Mishana barely cries, but moves scared. All fucking, I think I’ll drive him out and go home. There is no one at all. And we finally get under the sphere. Mint is behind us. They stop and a sergeant comes to us: your papers. have drunk? Then I look at my suffering face and the Mishani rights received two days ago. His words reached me: take care of yourself! And went away. We were driving at a speed of 20km per hour, but with an escort and flashes.

xxx: Imagine that all the laws of physics are a consequence of the geometry of the space of the universe, and all the physical constants are bound by a single geometric number. And this number is such that if it were at least slightly different, even infinitely few others, the universe would be unstable and impossible.

YYY: Sorry, but I can’t imagine that.

Ineets a roulette store, decided to sell expensive watches. The first was a clock for almost 30k backs. Comments are broken.

MrAlgernon 31 December 2012
I am a pianist. At the concert, the whole hall looks at me. Since I bought the clock, in the hall of anschlag. I am considering buying a second hand copy.
Plus: With an accuracy of a second, I can tell how much time has passed since I sold the apartment.
The homeless people I live with look strangely at me. We have to swallow the clock at night.

Vadim 21 January 2013
I bought a gift to a girl, not noticing that they were men. I am upset, you are so careless. She left me at all. I took the clock.
Plus: They show the time.
Disadvantages: This will not return the girl.

Jura 21 January 2013
Damn accidentally pressed the button "Buy!" what to do now? Now I'm thinking about selling an apartment or leaving the country whatever I found! Can I cancel my order somehow?
Plus: the button to buy on the site is just great, the pluses in the clock have not yet seen!!! to
Disadvantages: Expensive, for such money you can take 1032 bets CASIO LTP-1236GL-7BEF )))

Andrei 21 January 2013
Delivery in Kiev is free of charge, which is very pleasant.

Arnie confirmed his participation in the fifth Terminator

the first comment: xhh Astalavista grandfather =)))))

people are surprised, packing the installer winzip in the zip archive!so that you fuck wanted and the pants could not remove!

Stop boring and boring.
I am not wearing but spreading.
Take a couple or three prostitutes off for the night and tie them.
Strange, you’re not the first to advise this.
So listen to the wise people.

For many men, rich life experience gives only the stomach.

There are two former friends, Vitya and Zhenya. One of them, Zhenya, was sleeping with another’s wife. After his divorce he married her. Drunk, he confessed everything.

“Vitya,” he says, “forgive me, friend, but while you were married, I was fucking your wife. Forgive me. I forgive.

He replied calmly, not surprised at all:

"The question is not, friend, that you fuck her when we were married. The question is who is fucking her now.

The eyes of the hero-lover Woman rolled on the forehead. I understood that Vitya was right in asking the question... And that it is not yet known who was more lucky.

Only true friends can come to your house, get in your refrigerator, take your vodka and pelmeni and ask, “Will you?”

In his childhood, Mikhail Boyarsky painted para-parabola in class.
YYY: and in its... century
xxx :D

WOW: And this miracle decided to take revenge, but struck in his own manner. Stayed for the night, and what it made with all the compasses...
Ohhhhhh :?? to
Teaching Comps to Talk
O O O O O O
I enter my sleep password and my computer - who are you? Give a testimony...
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
WOW: but it's all the hernia, the head of the alpai stands, and what about the oret "who are you? I don't know you, went nahuy " here are the bricks with the speed of the light flew out )) short as a result of the machine rebellion of the accountant refuses to approach the computers, the boss in the drink, and the server is still nahuy the shell of all ))

Around the stop, the "seller" wandered the phone, trying to push it to every encounter. And all would be nothing, but the phrase "Samsung, Finland" still attracts attention XD