Here the people advised this comment to the old story about the water mattress to put in "history". In general, I expose:

We had a couple at the sports club. Couple - livestock, burnt, devacha - blood with milk, liters so on 70. Advice for Love. Here - a bat, he comes somehow to train, - and he has a bloodshed on the scrotum that is unshakable. We are “What is it?” The answer:
She bought a water bed. have put. I lay down and looked. And then she - Kayeek will sneak on that bed from her side... And I was thrown out on the bed.

All the "charme" of the pension reform is that the 60-year-old man in the eyes of the government is a healthy, strong, active alpha male. But in the eyes of the employer - a sick, dull, bored old man.

As a student I met a girl (D). The relationship that began at school lasted a long time, about four years. On one holiday, Mademoiselle asked to buy her a new cell phone. The choice fell on the newly released touch Nokia at the time, I don’t remember which model. And the most important instruction was given - the assembly of this device should be anywhere, but not in China!

I went, bought and gave. There was no limit to joy, but it was relatively not long... In the evening there is a call:

D: You are of course a great guy and thank you, but... I asked for a phone that would not be assembled in China!

I am am...

It is worth adding that I first read the box from under the smartphone and there was no word about the Chinese assembly. It doesn’t matter, but I was asked...

What if it breaks down in a week? ! to It will be, I am sure! There are so many reviews on the internet!

I: And why did you think it was collected in China?

D: Well, it is written on the box - Hungary!

I am Ii? ... →

D: What is “Ii”? ! to Is that ‘Ivy’? ! to You bought me a phone from a Chinese mosquito!

In tears, he dropped the bell.

I have a second cat. I live in a private house, I slept before with an open box, I wake up in the morning - some left-handed cat and a mouse sleep in my legs. The family arranged, the cat remained. Now "on retirement" mice do not catch, trained the younger and on a well-deserved rest.

I leave the entrance in the morning. A 10-year-old girl with a backpack goes by and cries, “Sasha, we ran faster. We are late. The dictator is today!” Following is a 10-year-old boy with a backpack on his back and a shoe bag that talks in his hands. It is weaving, barely raising the legs and almost dragging this shoe bag on the ground. Passing by me, the guy sadly said, “We are always rushing somewhere... Enough. I am tired.” And, breathing up, he cried on.

xxx: I will keep an accounting account of LLC or IP. Experience 15 years. A free schedule.

2 + 2 how much is it?

XXX: How much do I need?

YYY: Write in the face!

If you’re worried that your child doesn’t know your phone number, just put your number on the computer’s password.

Morning on Tuesday. We prepare at the office for the start of the working day. Anna, our manager comes in. Without clothes, he sits at the table and sits. The computer does not turn on, it is silent. Everyone begins to watch. We ask what happened. She just says it’s okay. And then 20 minutes. Then he stands up, says, “Yeah shit, shit,” and goes away.

I come, I ask

Anja, what fucking thing was it? Is it okay?

All is normal. I forgot to wear my shirt.

At that moment, Anya stumbled in her voice. Then she made a serious face and started working.

An abandoned car Yandex Drive blocked the exit from the paths where other cars were parked. One of them - Range Rover - trying to get out of the west, came to Yandex and long signaled. Yes, a signal to an empty, abandoned carsharing car.



Without the absurdity of what was happening, I unlocked Yandex Drive and left for five meters, skipping the Range Rover.



The last driver opened the window:



Where are you putting the car, muddle?



I got out of Yandex, wanted to come to explain the situation: said, the car is not mine, not I parked it, like I helped you...



“Go naked,” the Range Rover driver went ahead of me and sounded loud.



The snow of March with large pebbles lay on the black swarms, covering them with a thin layer of sugar powder. Soon is spring.

In order to establish equal rights, the law prohibits sleeping under the bridge, asking for mercy and stealing bread equally to all people, rich and poor.

c) by Anatoly Frans

Last Saturday, my wife told me she would take me to the theater. Theatre is theatre. Before the theatre I had an entire Saturday day and after catching a couple of beers I went to the sports club, pulling the glands and then drinking beer in the sauna. In the sauna besides me there was another man, we were sick with him, but he refused to drink beer with reference to "I still need to work tonight." Sometimes not everyone goes to theaters on Saturdays, some work. Places in the theater were especially disgusting, the first row from the very end. The shelves rose, a dark scene, on it a table with a graphene with a suspiciously yellowish liquid (the action takes place in England, according to the director's idea apparently whiskey). The actor approached the table with a thoughtful oak, poured half a glass of fluid, slowly raised his head and looked into the hall. I walked the stage, went down the stairs side by side into the auditorium and stood right in front of me. I realized that he was the man from the sauna. The man put his hand on my shoulder, looked over the heads of the spectators in the hall and said, "Now you can drink."

Did I correctly understand that as now the name ISIL is attributed to "a prohibited organization in Russia", so now the word "Government" will be obligatory attributed to "a respected organization in Russia"?

The class at 10-11 did me a small operation, but still under general anesthesia. At that time I was very interested in chess, so the board was always at hand. And since lying in the hospital was boring, many came to play. The day before the operation came a surgeon who was supposed to operate me - a healthy such uncle in years. I remember he played very emotionally, but he did not take a single game. And while I was pleased to put the figures in place, he stood up from the chair and said, "You guys, you play well! But you should give in to the one who will cut you off tomorrow?” He laughed and left the room. He was a humorous man.

But the smile immediately came down from my face, and I thought – maybe it was really worth it?

A power that compels to respect itself at the legislative level merits only contempt for one thing.

About the application of the "cheap but angry" principle in the treatment of white fever.

A simple, even somewhat naive question was asked in one of the discussions on the site - and what if alcohol is administered intravenously?
And, O magic of human memory! - bread of memories and associations are spread.
We will talk about very ancient times, when the dinosaurs were young and made the first steps in anesthesiology or astrophysics, before the smiling pig was still a long 10 years, on the television showed two channels in Russian and one in Latvian, and I was put on the line to the apartment and "Moskovich" upon arrival at the place of distribution, CRB.
So began my professional life.
It started with confusion.
A young man with a fracture, health not offended, on the table, injection anesthesia, a short-acting barbiturate, not the hexenal, not the pentothal, I will not remember.
I throw the weight of the man and double the dose, slowly insert a full syringe.
My patients were half asleep.
My patient continued to look at me with wide open eyes of heavenly color. And there was not a cloud in the sky, not in one eye, except that he whispered in response to a medication, more powerful than which only the blow of a squall.
I panic, it doesn’t happen, I haven’t been taught that!! to
An experienced sister, Tonia, looks at this range of emotions and comes to my aid:
- Mendeleevich, this is not Riga for you, our doses need to be adjusted and injected more sharply, with two hands!
And with fluoride, with nitrogen oxide!
I follow her advice - crude, but it worked out, we hardly take off and switch to autopilot.
I go out to refresh myself — from the mirror looks my roasted sweat rod with wild eyes, I tell her — these are the things, Mendeleevich, we got, here you are not there, you have to learn the local customs...
I learned, and what to do: I shoot the syringes in a cowboy-like way, with two hands, and, overwhelming my whole body, pressing a mask full of stinking fluoride. It turns out, Tony smiles approvingly, all the way.
You will ask – and why are they so persistent, the Spartans, these Latgals?
The answer is simple - the liver is trained, drink.
Every day, for decades, a lot.
For a moment, the attentive reader will shout, and what they can drink, a restructuring with Gorbachev’s dry law in the court!! to
Oh my dear! They chase the barrel, the barrels, the woods on the lakes, clean as tears, spill on three-liter banks from under berry juice and drink. The most massive civil disobedience I have seen in my life...
And they themselves drink and doctors spit, I used to wear too - I spread through Tony the rumor that Mendeleev was sober and ulcerative, and thus saved... even in the house of the first secretary of the district commission, in the apartment on the floor below the first secretary and on the floor above the apartment of the chief of the ROVD.

It’s probably time to move to the second part of the Marleson Ballet – White Heat.
And it was just an epidemic, especially in traumatology.
Jokes, by the way, small: healthy bugs in psychosis, breaking stretches and apparatus of Ilizarov, shifting slightly healed bones, frightening staff with their runs through the department and hospital yard in which the mother gave birth.
This will come to the department, 3-5 days lie down and starts:
frequent pulse, high blood pressure, hot sweat, wild eyes aimed at the ceiling, where he is shown an extended nightmare session in non-stop mode.
Seduxen and relanium helped in part, but the drugs were barely enough for 1-2 cases of "white-white, savsam garcia!" and they were often 5-6, a contagious thing, one will start - others will catch up!! to
Not for surgery, but for belly.
I have to do something.
And we invented.
For a liter of the dropper, we, sorrow and crying, from the soul, we can say, breaking, added 20-30 cubes of medical alcohol.
You will put such a dropper, prophylactically, to a very roaring patient, the main thing - not later than 2-3 days from the moment of reception and - beauty, no whitening, lies, smiles, cheeks pink, the look clear.
He lies and reads the district newspaper in four pages and talks with his neighbors in the chamber, reasonably and, most importantly, reasonably. I personally prepared the mixture, not trusting anyone - the times were harsh, for a liter of alcohol it was possible to stock up just like wood!!! Dumb and fun time, I will report to you, the dry law in our area of general alcoholism to survive was not easy...
And again I hear the same attentive and stubborn reader:
“Let me, two small tablespoons – like an elephant’s bite, for a mother’s drink!” Author, do you have a baron title and experience of flight on the nucleus?!? to
“Netu, the descendant of the townsman of the Liechtenstein province, Cantonist Friedman, with the right to reside outside the boundary of settlement, I was, therefore, a different person.
And to lie we are not trained, let me try to explain this phenomenon.
You see, when we drink alcohol, a powerful line of defense like Machino or Mannerheim stands in the way of its entry into the brain - our liver, where years of trained enzymes take a bucket in circulation and relentlessly tremble.
And also the stomach helps, putting boundaries on the approaches to absorption - the old guard of roasted acid cabbage with smoked pork is worth the death.
What do we do?
Right, we circumnavigate the Machino line through the Ardennes and with a quiet shoe we throw the landing of clean and fresh bushle straight into the center of Paris, the thief, the beat of the brain...
The thirsty buffalo brain with a typical French boldness and readiness surrender to the mercy of the winner, Voal and Vivat!! to

So, simply and with taste, and most importantly, cheaply and angrily, we managed to curb the invasion of whites.

Absolutely unnecessary aftermath about the problems of prevention of white fever already in these days and in a different country.
In blessed California, is there a problem with alcoholism?? to
There is. And considerable.
Someone drinks a liter of vodka a day, boiling a little from morning to evening, mixing with juices and cola, someone blows out a Bourbon pintu for a day.
Alcoholics with a California spendron – a couple of bottles of wine.
From day to day, years.
And we, doctors, are very alarmed when such a patient enters - withdrawal syndrome knows no borders and does not take a vacation.
There are medicines that are used with moderate success.
About intravenous alcohol, in addition to me, heard a couple of doctors whose average age is approaching 90 years old.
We have in the hospital pharmacy and a bottle of cheap brandy and even cheaper whisky, but to write them out to the patient is a headache.
The exit?
He always exists.
In a confident conversation with the members of the family, well aware of the true friendship of Bachus and their relative, I, quietly and blinking, suggest that it would be good to drink something with a degree, a little and slowly, for dinner.
Time to summarize:
Better not to drink.
If you drink, a little.
If you drink regularly and a lot - it is honest to tell the medical staff.
We will come up with something...
Cheers and cheers, be healthy and happy! by Michael Ashnin

The power in Russia was seized by the dead. Only good things can be said, or nothing.
This is a zombie apocalypse!

Such a story, nonsense in general, would not be a witness, then the fig would believe if someone told me such a thing.

We have a man who has come to work for a second week on public transport, although he has a car.

And all because of the fact that when he arranged here, one outgoing lady whispered that she was going to go with him along the way, well, stuck to him. He takes her on the way to work, and takes her home, other times even standing and waiting for her to be released, maybe an hour standing. Although first if it has time it will take, if not then not, and planted where it is convenient for him. And now he waits for her, drives by the entrance, takes from there, although it is visible that he is not in the wrong, and money does not take, and she did not suggest, says, say, what money, anyway on the way. And he can't refuse, too culturally and educated, well, the fact that for several weeks she has been catching her, and then suddenly sending her, says that it was necessary then immediately on the "shore" to solve the issue.

He told me that he even quarreled with his wife. The phone rings, he will pick up, and there this grandmother, say, help, you need to urgently take the child to the dentistry, we are late for recording, and you are there, can you take us? And he had plans, he wanted to go to the cinema with his wife and children. In the end, she took this aunt with her son, and she didn't even give money. Here his wife such an arrangement did not like that some left-wing grandmother helps at the expense of the family, there is nothing to send. And I understand her very well.

Here, now this man is chasing a second week on the bus, telling her that the car type is being repaired, and in fact he wants to drive so until she turns out that she used to ride with him.

I thought he really broke the car, and he told me the real reason today, I just fuck.

I go with a friend in the car. I share news. My girlfriend gave birth yesterday. The photo shows on the emotions of “la, what a baby... uthi-pusi...” A friend said, “It’s fun. My eyes are broken, I look. I just gave birth yesterday. »

And then I thought, “In the sense? ! to »

“Well, children, like cats, are born blind...” My acquaintance replied either with an affirmation or with a question. He looks at me and I at him.

I don’t know what to say, because he has two children.

A friend got married to the most beautiful woman, but, as it happens, her main outcry opened up a little later. After leaving the rental apartment with its mortgage studio, the new cell of the society took up repairs. There is a lot of work, all weekends and evenings are dissolved in the building dust. As long as it is short, the repair is over. A month passes and the girl says, "Both are not the ones you chose, let's glue. Word for word, they argue, but they cling. They lived quietly for a year, and then again: "You are tired of the old wallpapers, let's glue!"

Annual overlifting of wallpapers increased and has already reached a peak once every 4-6 months. A bad mood? Switch the wallpaper! An emotional shock? Switch the wallpaper!

Naturally, she does not do it alone, that a friend was not pleased at all. Even to the psychotherapist went, he offered to find a hobby and to go to rest at the bad end. And indeed, long time not rested, all the wallpapers glued. We travelled to the Baikal: fresh air, clean water, distance from the clutter.

They go home at night, right into bed. And she said before her sleep: "Do you remember what interesting wallpapers were in the hotel? Let’s buy the same?”

The girl is nice, but a friend is seriously thinking about divorce.

A couple of years ago we lived with a friendly company in the outskirts of Moscow. In fact, I, my friend Vital and my friends are a very nice couple of Svetya and Andrei.

Time passed, Vitaly also got a girl.

Andrei, apparently realizing that the people in the hut became crowded, suddenly dropped the light and dropped it in an unknown direction. Light courageously survived the gap and struck the head to work and alcoholism.

Being also an avid drinker, I realized that I found a very good interlocutor and partner for joint drinking various tasty and not very drinks.

The light did not resist, on this background we became good friends, but no more. Despite the fact that the girl was quite sympathetic to herself, what to say, distracted, I was not in a hurry to translate our relationship into a horizontal position. I didn’t want it, and that’s all. She did not show any signs of attention.

One day, after a very interesting conversation about books, literature and more, Svetlana gives me a book to read. As an honest person decided to read, I liked it, but since I recently completely got rid of paper books, I dumbly downloaded it to the reader and read it on the way to work and back.

After reading this masterpiece of literature, I returned the book with gratitude. In return, he got another one, jumped with the same machete, and then returned again.

These book preparations lasted about two months. Gradually our feasts stopped, then I left the city for two months and the communication stopped.

A month ago we unexpectedly crossed up, talked and, having decided to mark this case, rushed to my home.

After a couple of glasses, the conversation smoothly went on to the subject of personal life, relationships and other things and it turned out that it turned out then she had quite a look at me, and I, such a brake, did not understand this. To my observation that it was not very obvious, followed by the response that she hinted and even said it in direct text.

I ask, what did I say? Which direct text? That is, he responds. I wrote to you, idiot, notes in every book, and you, little of what you have never answered, have not even read a single book.