So about the cat :)
For almost 7 years, our red hates on linoleum in the kitchen. This is due, as it turned out, not to the health of the cat, but to the warming. As soon as the temperature rises by 5 degrees - the cat cries. Actually, the puzzles of various kinds to give out all tired and gathered on the fact that thank you, not on the bed, not on the carpet, but on the linoleum and in the same place. Wind and beauty. But one day, an epic happened.
I went into the kitchen and he just finished. He saw me. I understood everything. Eyes in the eye for a minute.
– What is it? – I asked desperately.
The cat, without taking his eyes away, smoothly took a step back and slowly descended with the mouth on a bunch. I hid it, shit. And continues to watch.
I lasted for five minutes and then left crying from laughter. The cat was washing all day.

Going home from work on the hill road. And it runs on the road, cars are flowing. Well, and 2 children 5 years old - one is rolling down from the hill to the road, and the other is looking from the top. At the end of the mountain in front of the highest road, he brakes, turns to the mouth, and, pleased, cries up "I have survived".

In general, people who drank and then did things, honestly, do not cause much pity, because the decision to eat is made in a sober state.

Do you want to forget?
YYY: YES!!!!!!!!))))))))))))
XXX: From Friday to Sunday.
YYY: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!)))))))
XXX: Find the money.
YYY : :(

The company. We drank, but only one glass. The man pouches the first drinker, he looks at the level of liquid in the pot says:
and all.
The unstoppable flight continues. The second begins to scream:
and all! and all! and all!! to
When the glass is almost full, the spiller raises his head and says:
You got it!! Not everything goes into the glass.
Since then the second knows the word "catch".
P.S I had to drink a glass of vodka...

XX: I here understood, offensive, when a wonderful man did not love you... and happiness, if you did not love you.

Hot chocolate tastes better in an orange cup
European scientists in their recent study confirmed the connection between the color of a dish and the human perception of the taste of the food contained in it. Researchers from the University of Oxford..."
I was waiting for a hint.

- This is what... Here at us Sisadmin for lunch takes a huge bowl, puts 2 packs of bombs, paste, pour boiling water, all this covers with a jersey for the accountant and puts the body of the system on top for reliability. Wait 5 minutes and eat ?
Probably the taste of the system.

The Tyumen Drama Theater offered Depardieu a salary of 16 thousand
We are also looking for a cleaner to offer...

A Muslim man enters a black taxi in London. He urged the taxi driver to turn off the radio because, as established by the decree of his religious teaching, he should not listen to music because at the time of the prophet there was no music - especially Western, which is the music of the unbeliever. The taxi driver polently turned off the radio, stopped the taxi and opened the door. The Arab asked him, “What are you doing?” and the taxi driver replied, “There was no taxi at the time of the prophet, so go on the har and wait for the camel!”

The next zombie series:

Zombies have already built schools and cinemas, raised small zombies, held their Olympic Games and launched a satellite into space, and these all survive.

A talented and very demanding teacher:

All my memories of Demchenko are scars on the brain substance left when trying to cut the twists there.

I sleep after a stormy night. I woke up from the noise in the yard.
The children are called Santa Claus. It comes out "no" Santa without a beard.
One of the children asked, “Daddy, where is your beard?”
He replied with an unwavering voice: "Because she was very itching, I had to shave."
The kids were not surprised and continued to have fun.

with the following).

The acquaintances from the ZGU in Zaporozhye, through a projector from the window of the community on the wall of a neighboring house in the CS, cut the grid, and in the evening picked up a beer and greedy porn was allowed but for a short time.

C hubra comment to the post about how one Amur guy paid for the month of the Internet 19 thousand you know what internet provider:
Cheaper than heroin.

When a woman loves, she gives everything, and when she does not love, she takes everything.

Once the grandmaster Viktor Korchnyh published an analysis of one debut version in the influential Yugoslav “Debut Encyclopedia”, where he considered the position of the whites as clearly the best. And a year later, the young Yugoslav master decided to play white against Korchny this same option. And came to the “best for white positions.” The Grandmaster thought for a long time, and then found a winning combination for the black. Recognizing his defeat, Yugoslav insulted:
And in the Encyclopedia you wrote that the position of the white is clearly better!
- The debut theory is not in place, - cleverly smiled Korčna.

On a Friday morning, entering the kindergarten, a little girl asks her father:
“Papa, come, please take me up sober.
What happened, my daughter?
“Nothing, just the last four times instead of me you took our teacher.

You are also an artist.
He: Oh... what kind of artist I am, from the word
She: I like your dog with an open mouth.
He is a cat...
She is: BL

My husband and I were in a large zoo. The earthworms saw the same frog, which if they were to slide, the glutes would go :) She sat sad, with the look of "how you struck me, the trunks grabbed". Her husband looked at her and said:
Oh my God, how can this be wiped out? Characteristically turned away from disgust.
What the frog, apparently, imagined as my husband licked her, and also overwhelmed :D