bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №155741
 28.01.2021
My brother is married three times. Their first marriage broke up in a couple of years. After 17 years, his first wife calls him and demands that he consent to the child’s departure abroad. The fact that he (brother) has nothing to do with her son is not taken into account. Let's say, write, or I'll go to court, and try again to prove that it's not your son. My son was born a year after they separated.



UPD: The official divorce was, as it was.

He sent her culturally. A month later, a notification to the court in the mailbox. Everything was resolved as quickly as possible: DNA examination, with a mandatory requirement for reimbursement of court costs and the cost of the examination. The verdict was obvious: the son was not his, he was witnessed.

And I still don’t understand what’s going on in the heads of these women who are waging an absolutely losing war without a single chance of winning. Are you hoping for Avon?



UPD: It turns out, the brother consulted with a lawyer, and he advised not to sign anything, because this consent (mol, I am the father, and I agree that the child should leave) could serve as a hint to recognize him as his father, with a subsequent request for alimony for all those 17 years and other consequences.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №155740
 28.01.2021
Xxx: My granddaughter (his daughter, 3.5 years old) mom calls to play. He asks his daughter:

What will we play?

Let’s play Grandma.

to go. How is this? I can play with my grandmother, but I never played with my grandmother.

It’s easy, I’ll teach you. Take the dolls, let them be grandchildren.

Mom brings the doll, along with the daughter sits the doll in a row on a toy sofa. Then the daughter says:

Well, you can go now!

Mother :

- So we wanted to play together, you promised to teach me to play as a grandmother!

I play “Grandmother.” You brought your grandchildren, and now, as always, you can leave, and I will stay with my grandchildren.



Yyy: The daughter is able to passive aggression

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №155739
 28.01.2021
Old age – not the best years – but not superfluous.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №155738
 28.01.2021
My granddaughter is 8 years old and goes to school. Everything is easily given to him, the children in his class are different, but most are normal, positive and a couple of fools with pups and without a brain are practically not able to realize. But recently he came back from school worried about something and said to his mother, “You’ll take me out of school tomorrow after two hours.” I have business there. I have to do something. What exactly, he does not say. Well, who would be against it. My mother took him later. And he asks again – don’t rush tomorrow too, I still have a job there. His mother came, and he was swallowed, sweaty. One in one wreath. Something is not that. The teacher approached him and asked his mother - and you know what your son is doing after school? No, and what is it. Here is what turned out. These weeks we were very snowy, the snow was just under a meter. And an elderly woman works as a courtyard in the school and she had to clean the school paths. The grandson himself approached her and asked if he could clean the snow too and if there was a spade for him. That's why he stayed after the lessons - cleaned the snow, helped the courtyard. As they say, the bad example is contagious, we are back in the weekend. Again he asked to leave later, but when his mother came for him, the school yard was cleaned by both the little girl and high school students. Since there was not enough spat for everyone, a few people stood waiting... Such is life, such are our children.
This is Russia, the Far East.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №155737
 28.01.2021
I don’t know what Navalny made for the film there, but Putin himself advertises it.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №155736
 27.01.2021
There is no one at home, all the animals are shaking, I sit with the child in the room, read a book and suddenly I realize that someone is talking quietly. Words can’t be heard, but clearly. At first I thought the roof was running, I went out of the room, no voices. So I don’t think the head :) I started looking, in a couple of minutes I found the direction from where the sound comes - a desk. Almost an empty table, on which, except for a few sheets of paper, there is nothing persistently telling me something. There were suspicions about my mental health. I looked every centimeter of the table and found it. From the wall, behind the table, the wires of the radio points, once dismantled and isolated, were torn. Whether the children were wrapping something there, or the cats were wearing, in general, the isolant fell down, and the wires touched each other. And not tightly closed, namely, touched. Accordingly, there was a small KZ that made the wires vibrate. But this really was not all, the carelessly dropped A4 sheet of paper from the top on the wires became a membrane and completed the construction. And that's all the broadcast :) Loud, but clear enough to think that the roof is going.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №155735
 27.01.2021
I walked with my son in a wheelchair. On the way, I went to the tyres, pumping the wheels. While the young master was crawling, the older master entered the room, looked at me, on the wheelchair, at his son.

Have they come? The young man laughed.

- Yes, the walkway scratches on the wheels, the right wheel dredges (I judged a joke)

The eldest smiled, took the oil and tools:

A man like this (he turned to his son) on a faulty car chase it! Well, let’s see what you have there.

Something stumbled, somewhere fell.

This is like a new one. If so, go back in the spring. The car needs to be guarded and repaired in time.

The son whispered something in response.

They didn’t even pick up the wheels and wished me a good mood.

It does not drizzle and does not scream the wheelchair, thank you to the master, +100 to him in karma.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №155734
 27.01.2021
Motherland should be in the heart, not in the ass.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №155733
 27.01.2021
On January 19, 2021, the Tula Arms Factory declared itself “Imperial.” Taking into account the fact that in 1923 the enterprise was awarded the Order of the Red Banner of Labour, and in 1962 - the Order of Lenin, now it is the "Imperial of the Order of Lenin of the Order of the Red Banner of Labour Tula weapons factory".

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №155732
 27.01.2021
The first channel is preparing an exposing documentary about the luxurious three-room apartment of Navalny.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №155731
 27.01.2021
At work at the entrance door from the street there is a ATM and a urn next to it, constantly filled with checks from this ATM. Periodically, smokers burn the contents of this urna with their bulls and all the smoke goes into the room, especially in the summer, when the doors are open. In general, closer to the topic: the room again filled with smoke, I pick up a bowl of water, I go out, there the boss stands, speaks to someone, sees me, then on the text:

Where did you go with the deer?

I: Yes, some pydors burned the garbage again, and would catch their bulls untouched in their ass.

CHEF: I accidentally set it on fire, bring your cage here.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №155730
 26.01.2021
xxx: We were at the compass in the lecture room, someone put female porn tables on the sound of the insert and removal of the flash drive.

No one knew how to fix this shit (well, students may and knew, but did not rush to share information)), because in the compact just at the time of inserting the flash drive turned off the sound. But every new lecturer was on this))) by the end of the year the joke came, so one new lecturer inserted a flash-computer issued a stone-prof in horror looks at the listeners - and all of them, nobody even laughs)))

[ + 8 - ] Comment quote №155729
 26.01.2021
I played a colleague. I came to work, greeted everyone in the household, remembered that the phone was left in the car. He quickly escaped. I go back into the house, and there everything has changed, except our old man (not the old man, just very gray). I say goodbye to everyone and start changing clothes.

A: You have already come.

I did not come. I came here, dressed up.

I saw you, greeted you.

When is it? I just went in. Snow on the shoes.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №155728
 26.01.2021
Freedom cannot be sought or obtained. It can only be taken.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №155727
 26.01.2021
Former head of the financial committee of the State Duma Vladislav Reznik seeks permission for VIP-hunting of red book animals for "scientific research", reports IA DEITA.RU.
The law was adopted! In the third reading. From now on, using the wording “for scientific purposes,” you can kill white bears, snow bars, leopards and tigers!!! to

The controversial bill was submitted for consideration during the New Year, probably not to create unnecessary noise. However, the public learned about the intentions of the deputies and his friends.

A major amendment has been introduced to the law, which states that it is possible to catch animals for the purpose ofining the population or monitoring the condition. Now not only capture, but also murder!

It is remarkable that the MP has been trying for many years to legally allow killing rare animals!!! Reznik is one of the residents of the elite hunter club. In 2016, Reznik asked for a license to shoot the Puthoranian lambs "for scientific purposes".

For this, even before, a whole scientific program was developed to justify murder. Deputy Prime Minister Chloponin supported the initiative, but Rosprirodnadzor stood up to protect the barons, which did not issue the appropriate permission.

By the end of 2020, the hunter went back to attack. If the public and colleagues do not stop the VIP hunter, he will get the right to the elite hunt for red book beasts. For scientific purposes, of course.

The petition against the law for VIP hunters has now gathered more than 50,000 signatures.

PS: So I think at the next meeting they will allow VIP hunting for people? There are a lot of people – they are not red books!! to
PPS: So the deputy has a doher of time and he wants to spend it on murder??? Or maybe this deputy's naker - from the Duma by a pinch, if he only does his hotels for many years and only dreams what to kill?? to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №155726
 26.01.2021
What’s the difference between us: Instead of shouting, “What are you doing, shit?”We are quietly thinking, “What do they do, fools?”
Zhvanetsky

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №155725
 26.01.2021
Today I stood on a pedestrian crossing, a man with a child stopped next to me and I immediately remembered the story.

A few years ago, when my daughter was about 4 years old, we approached her to a pedestrian crossing. And at the time, I was just teaching her the rules of transitioning the road to green. There was a man before the transition. We approach, the daughter on the left of me, the man on the right.

I say to my daughter loudly:

What color?

The man suddenly turns, looks at me astonished and says:

The red!

Then I saw the child, confused and left very quickly) and I was in a good mood all day.

[ + 36 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №155724
 26.01.2021
Xxx: I am going in a battle bus. Everyone goes quietly, sleeping, except for one woman, who emotionally discusses her well-being with someone on the whole bus.

“I probably have a meteorism,” the woman says. The people were greatly stressed, began to look around in search of ways of retreat, on every firefighter.

The pressure goes up and it goes up!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №155723
 25.01.2021
xxx: I had to somehow go on a blacar, from Sochi to Krasnodar, after this trip, I decided for myself that it was the first and the last, the car was Kalina sport, and the driver, really wanted to show that the car was the sport!

The guy a week ago got the rights, and chased it so that only the tire whispered at the turns, on my question, what is the point of taking the passenger 500p and chasing under the cameras, with excess, if min. The penalty was also 500 r, no clear answer was received. Somewhere in the hot-key on the track saddled the patrol with goats and when they saw Kalina with the shoemaker behind the wheel, they joyfully struck the sticks. The driver instead of stopping, drowned again, with the words - who will catch up... Kilometers after 20 haishniks hit the car, pulled the steering wheel, and pulled it with me, and I then went to Krasnodar for another 2 hours.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №155722
 25.01.2021
XXX: Seeing the girl disappointed that there are "prospective" ones. But it is her right to find a man with a good salary. Especially if she earns well herself, a low-income man will simply be uncomfortable if he is adequate and not alphons.

Yyy: My wife earns 5K more than me, and I’m normally.

Zzz: How do you live on 5 thousand rubles a month?

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