Another story from my wife, who works in the personnel department of the Russian Post. Another application for dismissal, another resume of the boss: "To dismiss at your own request. She was a bitch")

How much do twins need for intrauterine development? 18 months or 9 months?
Numbers: 4.5
Both will do it faster.

Do you have no such programming skills? Cat in the subject?
No, the cat is not in the subject, the bastard.)

@kot_bayun: I don’t understand the modern youth: “lalka”, “azazaz” and “bombanul pardok”. There are normal words: “LOL”, “Bggg”, “Batthorth”.

The xxx:
The main thing is shrinkage)
The xxx:
Charity
The xxx:
fucking
The xxx:
The main thing is Russian.

Again about advertising.
I am driving, I am in a traffic jamming. The phone rings.
I listen to.
Is this the name of the name?
Yes, I listen to you.
My name is Alena, I am a representative of the cosmetic company Desheli. We got your number from open sources and want to invite you to an absolutely free body care procedure.
to eat. First, this number has never been published in any open source. Secondly, I never turned to professional body care procedures. Third, the spammers were stunned. Well, even though the vacuum cleaners are not yet supplied with my number. And, judging by the tone of treatment, I’m definitely considered a girl. A cold, apparently.
Why did you decide that I needed this procedure?
We use the best body care cosmetics developed specifically for our premium brand. This procedure is completely free. You will be able to see how young you are in front of your eyes.
Of course, you can just send it. There is time and it is boring. So I continue the conversation.
You know, I don’t think I need your tool and procedure.
Why do you think so?
My skin is in perfect condition. It is elastic, young, elastic, not dry, not fat and smells pleasant.
– to?? to
Yes, I smell right now, it smells good.
Then we can offer you a great remedy for hair care. We have a shampoo, air conditioner, balm washer...
I think my hair is fine. I am in the bathroom, in front of the mirror. My hair is of natural wheat color. Very close to my blue eyes. The hair is straight, smooth and shiny. They lie very straight, such a shiny cascade on their shoulders. A little on the ends. Yes, I am just perfection.
You are using shampoo, right?
- No, I make my hair a decoction of chamomile and urticaria. very useful.
A cry of despair:
We can offer you a tool for the removal of toxins and a unique ultrasound device for soft delicate tissue massage.
What kind of tissue?
and soft.
- Girl, I understand that massaging hard tissues, bones, is stupid. What tissue do you offer me to massage with your device?
Anywhere, in any troubled area.
I have no problem areas. I have light olive colored skin, good sunshine. There is no problem with the figure either. Height 170 and weight 51. What to massage? Just stumbled somewhere. Do you have free cough ice cream?
No, I am sorry
He puts the phone. Now, probably, in front of my name is the label “dumb.” Don’t steal the customer base.

With regard to the idiots with analyses, a friend told me this story:
They came with the class to the medical commission in the military department. They were strictly warned in advance to have urine and fecal tests with them in the appropriate container. But they had one real fool (whether he loved it, or was he really a fool), in general, when the turn came to him to present his analyses in the window, he proudly put a litre bowl of mayonnaise on the table. When the surprised host asked "what is it?" he opened the cover. The bank was half-filled with urine, in which a huge cacao floated.
He did not go through the medical committee.

Who is there licking?
“With you, pig, he doesn’t cuddle, but Captain Zeglov talks!

After visiting the island of Petra, actress Angelina Jolie was so impressed by its beauty that she decided to buy it as a gift to her husband for the 50th anniversary.
The heart-shaped island is located near the coast of the United States north of New York. Its cost is about $20 million.

Bakhmat25.11.2013, 13:57
Jolie, buy my husband’s damn Octavia tour, I just sell it for 400 t.p. A penny car.

I stand at a crossroads. Red on the light. At the crossroads the grandmother runs (also in red). He raises his eyes, sees the red lighting signal, and dies for a few seconds. Then he is widely baptized and runs across the road, lavishing between moving cars. This is the true test of faith.)

XXX: I, of course, understand that children are often paid for the complexes of the parents, but to call the son Antiloh...

I know what ping is.
YYY: Did you have a good computer science teacher?
xxx: Not quite) I am "ping" every night
Yyy: What did he invent this time?
xxx: All the 3 years that we live together every night, and often several times a night, he wakes up and in a sleepy state touches my chest and falls asleep again with a smile on his face) Here and explained me the meaning of the word "ping")

Mom: Imagine, Lena called, all in tears, and said that Petty (my brother, my mom’s son) had another woman. Probably to invent. In general, if he is in the dad, then he should not betray...
I: Mom, what if my mom?
Mother... oh... oh... oh...

Excellent processing of the questionnaire.
Question: What do you feel about being a Russian citizen?
Answer: The desire to drink

You are real like a ants.
YYY : Why?
XXX: You always have some x"in.

About my handwriting: "It’s no longer cryptography, it’s hashing something! Indeed, why not write a lecture as a check amount"

Electronic signature platform on SIM cards

BSD Free
What if the perpetrator takes over such a signature with the signature of a Kremlin official and will shuffle new laws and transfer federal money?? to

MD
No one will notice the difference...

Here we gathered together, 12 friends, drank and decided to send SMS
The words "I love you, dear!"
Here are their answers:
1) Who is it?
Mom, are you sick?
3) And I too.
4) What about the car?
5) I did not understand.
6) No and no again.
7) is?
8) Just tell me how much?
9 am I sleeping?
10) If you don’t tell who this message is, someone will die.
I asked you not to drink anymore.
12) Whatever you do not want to answer

I seem to have come up with a way to check my smartphone for how much it holds a conversation from one charge.
You just need to call the MTS technical support.

>> you know what girls say when seeing a big penis?
>> I don’t know...
>> xxxh: a loser, and I know.
They say, “I will not be in the pope.” Who is the loser after that?