A little bit depends on the tank. All customers become spectators. Two on stage. Fighting grandmother... no... the language doesn’t turn to call her so. The adult mom. Good posture, a confident voice, a confident look. Judging by the aura – youth was strong, even before the 90s, in which she just laughed in the face of the era. Her grandson with her. Clearly raised in Japanese traditions - the words "no or not" - are prohibited. But flirting is not synonymous with “lack of demands.”

Boy of 8 years. A little smiling on the hero of O’Henry’s “Leader of the Red Roses.”

The box hangs. Everyone is waiting. Grandma has an easy dialogue trolling with her grandson. To be clear, the association:
Grandma is a brilliant railroad.
The grandson is a flexible, yellow thread.

Go to the toilet.
Maybe not need?
Maybe not need. But I will not stop.
I am in the window!
The meeting wind.
I’ll open the window in the trunk (per my grandmother’s jeep).
and well. You wet the jeans – you wash and wash the car yourself.
( the pause )
Laadly...
The boy goes away... returns.
Washing your hands?
and yes!
Why to lie?
How about grandmother?? to
The mansets are dry.
(The guy with his lips admirably experiences whether “your mother” or “bl..t”... goes and comes)
Can I feed the pigeons?
– Go to.
(The man leaves, returns with an angry face)
There are two people smoking at the entrance.
- Go out and tell them that they are smoking frozen strawberries at the tank. Let them shut up.
(He runs away with a happy, harmful face... returns quickly... behind him two... such... strong... confident... strong... demonstratively holding cigarettes in his hands... I would, if I met them - crossed the other side of the street. The look is lazy questionable “...and...what for...on.” Further on the script. My grandmother sees them. The audience is divided in half. One gets phones and pop-corns. The second is looking for a pharmacy. The guard is focusing on something outside the window. The fly under the ceiling enthusiastically rubs the legs.
If you are looking for who sent the boy, it is to me. If you start to argue with Matt, I’ll break your whisper with a bag.
You hear, Mommy...
(It is interrupted, as in school, when the teacher "imposes" iron intonations on the stupid comments of the student-huligan).
Didn’t you squeeze, brother? What am I to you, mommy, you are a half-dummy amorphous. If you think that your cellulite will press me, you will be wild. Do not open your mouth anymore. You have already told yourself. Do not pull your share to the bottom, or you will respond.
(The boy, not paying attention to what is happening, unwaveringly chooses the coke... the grandmother for a second to him, without changing the pressure)
Take light, there is less sugar.
(Return to the monologue)
Both smoked cigarettes and threw them out. Idiots and fools, forgive me.
(as in Gogol - a silent scene, even the flies quieted... one of the guys suddenly grabs the phone, and with a business look comes out... the second behind him...)
What if I smoke too?
If you are going to pull up twenty-five times, and you have nothing to do, and there is no place to spend money - smoke. Remove the chair.
Why Why?
Nicotine from the poop will shrink.
– Grandma, you’re old – and as you wrote before, there were no iPads and phones!! to
On the bridge, bl.
(His patience is over)

The boy smiles happily.

The cashier said: “The cashier has earned.”

The public applauds.

For voting on retirement age, Russians did not have special knowledge.
And for voting on amendments to the Constitution, for example, on the balance between the federal and municipal authorities, Russians have special knowledge.

A colleague said:

In the distant 80s, a citizen decided to "break" a rural store, he did this carefully prepared, went to work sober and without a partner, cut off the alarm ring (naturally, there were no extra-departmental guards at the time, especially not in the village), the guard peacefully "waited" at home, as he lived in the neighborhood.In general, he went to the room, first picked up clothes for his wife and children (which were seven on the shelves), then the products of various canned foods, cakes, candy, etc., and also about himself without forgetting-throwing a couple of boxes of alcohol.

In the morning the village woke up from the heart-breaking scream of the grandmother-guard, came the opera group with the district, questioned everyone who could, scratched all along and across, but no witnesses, not traces.It would seem like an ideal crime, burned it ridiculously a week later on the fact that the boys dragged on the street condensed and chocolate candy (although previously sometimes and sugar for weeks did not see), why could they just not not interest the local district and on the question "Where?“Friendly answered, ‘Yes, we have such good things in the couch at home!’

There is such a technique (and is quite well practiced in the overseas countries), the transplant of intestinal microflora. Patients whose whistle in the intestines and pathogenic flora kills normal and even begins to penetrate the bloodstream, causing sepsis, blood contamination.

Now the story itself

As if in our resuscitation, one patient was bending from sepsis and all other nonsense. It would seem that he went to repair, but he was caught by a terrible stroke, with clostridial infection, carousel on the second round of sepsis, stroke does not stop, food is not absorbed, darkness

The patient really dies, lives dumb on adrenaline and IVL

The relatives walk in total sadness, do all possible and impossible all things.

And we just came to the conference, we heard about microflora transplantation.

We know how to do it, theoretically, but strenuously.

We found the most responsible nurse, took her transplant, checked for adequacy and let us transplant.

Carro, he eventually recovered. The relatives kissed our hands, asked, Boh type probably helped us, you said that the chances are zero.

We cried and agreed.

We will not say that the shit healed him.)

My husband and I remembered how the anti-infantery mine was neutralized: in the evening, the daughter was laid to sleep, I sit behind the comp, the husband is watching a movie. Suddenly he said to me with a panic whisper: I came on a rubber toy with a piss.

I crash from the compass, fall to the floor, squeeze this toy, my husband slowly raises his leg. Without the right to mistake, I hold the toy, I turn it, and it is without a pipe. All the fuck, the end.

After the dentist had to visit the store of household appliances. The tooth to the treatment got difficult, ultracaine took on conscience, the jaw to the right did not feel from the word at all.

I walk with my husband on the rows of washing machines, I am interested in washing and chewing on the models I liked. The tongue is not listening - I try to gesture, from the overwhelmed and numb corner of the mouth, saliva bubbles traitorily. I don’t feel that, I’m all passionate about doing business. My husband carefully wipes my lips.

I hear behind the back the dialogue of the girls - consultants:

Have you seen? Even marry such people!

Stop the diet!

I would rather meet my brothers with reason. To make sure that we are not the only idiots in the universe.

Good day. In connection with often emerging recent news related to demographics, benefits and large children decided to share his experience.
In 2006, when I was 21 years old, I suddenly learned that I would be a happy father. Given the support of his inner optimism, youthful maximalism and... And probably that's all, I told my future wife that as soon as she married me for her husband about the job she would need to forget, alphasamenc eprs))) I want to add that of all the movable and real estate we had for two at the time there were only scissors and a couple of phones.
Well, where less than a year later we became the owners of a miracle named Alina) After listening to 9 months of speech about how we "everything should be wonderful" And based on the information that 2007 is the year of a child and all the state will do for me, I was prompted to try to cut off the state a piece of land where I could build my nest.
At that time, my wife and I were in the district. Going through the instances and having received a “mass of pleasure”, I received an unofficial answer on the sidelines of these instances – that there is no land. I looked at the map. The scale of both the region and the country. This is related to the information received. I realized that geography is not mine, just as a piece of land is not mine. You can see here that at that time my native village was actively established by cottages.
As soon as a miracle named Alina learned to smile and speak daddy-mama and a little tired of support, and even more tired of the instructions of my parents we decided to move to a rental one-bedroom apartment in the capital of our homeland, which was also within walking distance from my work, which I was unspeakably happy. We were so delighted that we soon learned that we would be the happy owners of the second miracle.
Looking at the small area of the apartment and the consequences of the global crisis, we agreed to settle to live in a one-bedroom apartment in Tver, in order to raise money for housing. Driving to work was hard, of course, but the faith in a bright future shakes.
A miracle named Sonja was born in the year of our family! All the media talked about family support. Having received, again, a “mass of pleasure” from communicating all with the same servants of the people, we received maternal capital, which at first could not be used even for loans and applied for family capital.)
Well, since I am so uneducated, I have nothing to shame the country with my presence. Having understood this - we left, not far, the accumulated money was enough to buy a house not far from Minsk. There, too, began to actively rejoice and soon returned for a short time, so that a miracle named Varvara would be born.My wife liked the provincial nursery in Tverska, according to her - the architecture is very beautiful)
My last conversation with officials took place when I accidentally learned that many children in Russia can visit museums for free. You have to be educated! Gathered with the spirit, I made an attempt to obtain a multi-child family certificate. I couldn't, I just didn't have enough patience to carry papers from one department to another, listening - "even if chocolate was brought," although I turned to "one window." My children will go to the Russian museums for free.
Why did I write all this. So that people who decide to have a child rely only on themselves. Per I will be able to teach someone not to hope for the state, as our officials have taught me, which I am very pleased with.
Well, having rejoiced in this insight, and children and joy are synonyms, we have a fourth miracle - Jan. From Alina to Yana, from “A” to “I”, I closed my alphabet, as I closed my story. All the good)

If you are happy in the country, you are a member of the State Duma.

My mother has been living with a man, like a civil marriage, for 8 years. Once she just brought him to us and said that M. would live with us. M. turned out to be a cool man, treats us as daughters, and loves mom. My mother recently told me how lucky she was. I remembered something.



When I was 16 and my sister was 10, my mother brought us to a one-bedroom apartment to live in Tajikistan. What a gastroenterologist. Just took and brought. He is in love and has nowhere to live. I was upset, but nobody listened to me. Tajik lived with us for six months, roasted us a delicious egg in the morning before school, and turned out to be a very good person. Six months later he moved to Tajikistan, some problems arose. He left, but promised to come back. Mother did not wait for him, met his new love, the present father.



We still lived with a month young boy, 5 years younger than his mother. I was about 14 years old then. The guy bought us chips, soda, and ice cream, and we played fools with him in the evenings.



When I was 11 or 12, my mom brought home a rabbit to live. The former rabbit. He stayed with us at home while my mother was in the factory. He bought us joysticks, pulled games on the disk, and showed us how to play a playstation with a DVD player. He also prepared dinner, fed me lunch and helped me with the lessons. The world man turned out to be a former zeck, and lived with us for about a month. Then disappeared somewhere.



A few weeks ago, my mom told me how lucky she was with her father. And I thought how lucky we all were that all of my mom’s relationship was safe for me and my sister.

A reasonable government, instead of the law "On Respect for the Representatives of the Government", would adopt the law "On Responsibility of the Representatives of the Government for Acts Causing Disrespect to Citizens".

Yesterday I fell asleep in the bus, it seemed like I had travelled through my stop, as if for some reason: "Help!“I go to the front door. I understand that I was wrong, and I have to go again and go... I manage to jump into the back door and sit in my own place. It was silent in the bus, even the driver turned off the music.

When I said that E is equal to MS in a square, the physics teacher fell slightly into a bowl of laughter.

I am 42 years old, my friend Ruslan 50. 20 years old, post about him.

The case was 7 years ago. Ruslan was lonely and independent, no one needed a man. And all friends, including the author of the post, considered it their duty to arrange his private life) They invited guests, where, by chance, there was a girl who, by coincidence... was also free).

Actually the story itself.

Ruslan came to visit to his partner, it was Christmas. He was called for the first time and got a new job. There was a lady in the company, to whom Ruslan was invited. I also visited my wife, so I speak as an eyewitness.

The owner of the house declared confidently: "Rusia, go, be at home, today is a fateful evening for you."

In the guests was the sister of the owner of the house, Margaret. Lady 35 years old, two marriages and son of parents)

All night Ruslan tried to get close acquaintance with Margo) Toasts with a hint, every slow dance was white, guess who Margo invited)))

Ruslan was tired of this obsessive conspiracy, he became psychotic and left. The daughter of the owner of the house, nineteen-year-old Christina ran out of the trail, the shell forgot our failed bridegroom.

Escaped... and did not return home again. Back to Ruslan’s wife.

What was there. Scandals, curse and threats to kill the “young” husband.

Woman 19 and husband 43.

Everything was. And I write all this, I saw Ruslan today at 5 a.m. near the school. Standing in a row, I enrolled my daughter in the 1st class, he was a son. I ask how is it?

- Great, in 7 years we meet here, we are waiting for a daughter, Christina for 8 months!

and glowing of happiness)

I greeted him from the heart, and I think Christina’s father was right, saying seven years ago on Christmas to his guest that it would be a fateful evening.

I was recently at a birthday party with a friend.



In the midst of the fun, a common decision was made to play something. The owner of the house offered to play a game of the category "18+" and got the cards with all kinds of obscene questions about sex.



“The advantage of this game,” he explained, “is that you learn a lot of strange and unexpected things about others.



Someone asked him to give an example.

“Well, for instance,” replied the owner, “the last time I played it, it was a great shock for me to find that more than half of those who gathered saw nothing awful about masturbating in the presence of sleeping people.



I have long thought about it. But I never understood – why wake up people because of such nonsense?

The real boss of all the ways to solve the problem will choose the most uncomfortable for the subordinate.

The Czech Ministry of Transport has allocated €16 million for an internet portal to pay for travel on paid roads.
The programmers made it expensive. He has ignored.
Then 60 programmers in one weekend wrote this program and gave it to the state. Minister was fired.

Zhirinovsky proposed to rename the President of Russia to the Supreme Sovereign of Russia. I don’t understand, is he bent or is it such a subtle hint?
The last Supreme Sovereign of Russia was Admiral Kolchak, who was shot in Irkutsk.

I used one app yesterday to search for a bus to Moscow from another smaller city. At the appointed time, I come to the appointed place and sit in the car.

I realize almost immediately that I have not eaten anything since the very morning, but I did not ask for a stop for this, because I only had to go for a few hours, and I am a 27-year-old guy and I can tolerate it.

But thoughts about food refused to leave me.

Suddenly the driver turned his eyes to the right and asked playfully:

“Do you want to eat, Rabbit?”

And while I was shrinking for a few seconds from the question, the driver’s little son, who slept quietly in the back all this time and I completely forgot about, replied, “No, daddy, I don’t want to.”

He was comprehensively developed: poet, artist, musician, composer, photographer,
Dancer, actor, director, writer, critic, blogger, columnist, generally a creative person and media person. In a word, a worker without a profession