bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134461
 06.10.2016
This is:
My neighbor with me. They bought an apartment on our floor for mortgage. I entered her with my husband. A child was born. A couple of years later, his husband left "for earnings" and disappeared. not there. It is known that he is alive and healthy, sometimes his parents call. Police are searching without result. No money is sent to her. She’s been there for two years – and who is she, if not a single mother, if humanly?

And who prevents your neighbor from filing a lawsuit for her husband's disappearance? With all the resulting bonuses (payment of insurance and partial repayment of mortgage and other joys?)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №134460
 06.10.2016
xxx: You probably haven’t heard of the difference between conditional and unconditional reflexes. And behind the jumping on the bushes desanters, next to whom someone shouted "beat!", did not observe.

Wow, I remember when the car was ripped off at Mac in the Southwest I was just going to him. He heard an explosion and fell. Then I got up and another guy stood up next to me. I: "Tajikistan", he: "Chechnya", and went to the subway)))

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №134459
 06.10.2016
Take the sexist shit. Should we give the cats something more?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №134458
 06.10.2016
The article "Electricity or a station? Advantages and disadvantages"
and Yoman:
There is another disadvantage of some electric shavers, full battery discharge occurs during the shaving process. I am not the first time I get so that the face floor shaved (I shave not often, once every 2-3 weeks) and then I sit half bearded and wait for it to charge.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134457
 06.10.2016
xxx: How many lives do you think a system administrator has?
YY: N + 1

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №134456
 06.10.2016
We discuss a new business center in which the elevator rises from the first to the fourth floor in a healthy such aquarium:

I’t get up in it.
Why is?
- And the waterfall of the aquarium breaks, it's a bit of a ridiculous death - to drown in the elevator!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134455
 06.10.2016
I met a friend who recently had a daughter.
I: How are you named?
K is Darina.
I: Shortly what is your name?
K is Alena.
I: O_o
Q: I just have a younger sister, Alain, and it’s a custom – if a child is roaring at home, I call him Alain.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №134454
 06.10.2016
You have already stumbled on your genders. Then your husband can’t wash the dust, then the wife of the borst does not cook as it should. hit already. Look for a normal couple. I searched and I found a housewife in the kitchen and a prostitute in the bed and I will never let her stumble around the house herself - and I will make a borscht better than many and half a mommy cleaner than some. We do everything together, while looking at each other as if we were twenty.

Walk on your forums, leave a resource for funny administrators and fun programmers.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №134453
 06.10.2016
<Orphoepic> One day I started a boomerang and it didn’t come back. Since then I have lived in fear every day.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №134452
 06.10.2016
Talk about computer. The game
I upgraded the spacecraft, and now I have a spacecraft!
Fuck, I’ll call it Hera now.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №134451
 06.10.2016
The author, which is not a phrase, is a pearl.

One day, who is 16, and who is 26, a woman suddenly realizes that her (likely to be obscene) pussy has a certain value.
From whose point of view? with the man. There would be no prostitution if there was no demand for it, as there would be for any other service (no one needs, and no one will seek, professional cartridges of purple to the point of the clothes). So if lust creates demand, what is the reason, right?

This discovery excites a woman, because the dream of having everything and not doing anything from a man is knocked out in childhood.
The loud lol. In my life experience of more than 50 years, it is in men that she lives and thrives.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134450
 06.10.2016
There is a bird-eater in the house (not my truth, but the son brought happiness to the house).I have almost become familiar with him.Every morning begins with a check" and where is our puppy? He sits.You can walk around the apartment.And today in the country, dressing in work clothes, I wear a hat.I go to the mirror to fix beautifully and suddenly my hat has come to life.Educated on Harry Potter, I was delighted for a tenth of a second, now I will be told which faculty I went on.Ugu..it was a mouse.My mouse is on my head.The husband of Harry Potter "did not read, so he calls me Gingema.Soon my holiday.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134449
 06.10.2016
News: "A veterinarian in Vladivostok broke his nose, beating him with a dead cat"

Question to the experts - do you know any other interesting ways to use pets?


[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №134448
 06.10.2016
What is Sexism?
The dream of having everything and not doing anything is not masculine, but universal.
It is the engine of progress. Technical and social.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №134447
 06.10.2016
15:45 - How long do you wait?
16:08 ~20 minutes, yeah ))))))

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №134446
 06.10.2016
-Hello, you have headphones for Nokia that still answer calls.
Hi yes now. You can try the box.
thank you. [Floating headsets - accessory is not supported]
The problem is that the accessory is not supported.
Are you not Chinese?
– No
Then shakes [climbs behind the other box, gives]

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №134445
 06.10.2016
(Discussions about medicine in the early 20th century)
Kokain is an anesthetic
Central action

yyy: Lobotomy of migraine treated, in
So, patient, you first go to heroin therapy, then take a cocaine drink, and a lobotomy! A this pimple on the knee we will cure by amputation"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №134444
 06.10.2016
Why is Jiggurt not elected to the Duma, is he there?
I have even thought of an election company for him:
"Bambarbia kirgudu, vote for Jigguru"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №134443
 06.10.2016
Save the Princess in 8 programming languages

Vorobyovivan: You have 1C. You demand the kingdom in advance. You put a horse in a dress and give it to the king. He’s angry that she’s not a princess. You are demanding more for the kingdom for dop. The salvation is actually for cutting off the Princess Hera and sewing her breasts.

Sam448: Yeah yeah yeah! and ;)

AlkisTer: At the same time, the princess has since required your mandatory support and regular payments in the half kingdom.
A labyrinth castle is built around it, and if you do not pay, the next knight will have to save 10 times harder.
It’s easier to kill a princess, blow up a kingdom, and build everything from scratch, including giving birth to a princess.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №134442
 06.10.2016
For the trip we got a dark cherry “Niva”. The Associated Press news agency shared with us a large sticker with its "AP" logo, which we immediately placed on the doors and cap of the car. Another decoration became the huge letters "TV", own-handedly carved out of isolants. We were proud of this work at first, but then it turned out that the Latin acronym of the news agency is read in Russian as “A” and “R”, so in response to the question “Where are you from?” we usually that we were working for “Armenian Radio”. Strangely enough, this explanation pleased almost everyone.

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