bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №134941
 19.10.2016
xxx: "David" is the answer to the question "what is done?"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134940
 19.10.2016
In the mysterious barrels from under Sosnovoborsk could be toxic gas (video)
Commentary :
The square is rolled, the round is dragged, the gas is stored in barrels, and the liquids are stored in bottles.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134939
 19.10.2016
xxx: please
Scandinavians are very clear.
Son of Odin from the land of Jordan (Alter. and Tor.
The sons of Odin from Frigg: Baldr, Hed, Hermod.
Son of Odin of Rind: Wally
Son of Odin from the Grid: Vidar
Odin's Son of Nine Mothers: Hemdahl
Son of Odin from Gunnhold: Bragi
The son of Odin from the giant, the sister of Hymir: Tur
The son of Odin from the "nine mothers" the Greeks did not have such a figure.
ZZZ: This is to fit in 1 month.
xxx: One - project manager from God
YYY: From which one?
XXX: It is

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №134938
 19.10.2016
Today I came to the post office to pick up the ordered letter, but I was answered that it had already been given to my wife. Dear wife, I did not know about your existence, but if you are reading this, please return the letter. There is a tax on the car.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134937
 19.10.2016
Two years ago, my wife and I went on vacation to Vienna. One morning, there were no free tables at the hotel during breakfast, only two of the four seats were empty. I asked in English for permission to sit with two elderly women, and after receiving it, they began to eat breakfast.

After a while, one of them asked me in English: “Sorry, but where are you from?”

I, in the same language, answer: From Moscow, Russia

The first neighbor translates my words into German to his friend.

He looks at me and his wife and suddenly pronounces (in Russian! ! to ! to ! to “Moscow, the Kremlin, the ice cream! ! to ! to ! to “!” (Last loud for the whole room)

As it turned out, both women were from East Germany and the second at the time was travelling to the USSR to her friend at a visit. Most of all she liked ice cream, and so much that she even remembered how this word is pronounced in Russian.

[ + 14 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134936
 19.10.2016
The drink – is it mine?

This is a delicious mineral water.
This is Coca-Cola.
Such a beer.
Such a vodka.
Such a milk.

There are more exceptions than fall under the rule.

YYY: Exceptions only confirm the rule.

XX: Yes, I also think so. The more exceptions, the more the rule is confirmed. The ideal rule is a completely unworkable statement with an endless list of exceptions.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134935
 19.10.2016
xxx: protection in the Yandex browser protects against obsessive advertising
YYY: And who will protect against the obsessive advertising of this Yandex browser?! to

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №134934
 19.10.2016
And now, pedestrians, compare the behavior of motorists and crowds of people. One-on-one: where you get stuck, you talk, interfering with everyone; suddenly you brake or turn; walk on a narrow path with the same rope, steep the mat of the slow-going... Someone has two tons of iron on the wheels, someone doesn’t. We are all the same, but we don’t want to admit it.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №134933
 19.10.2016
Something has become a lot of people who believe that the people should know not the history of Russia, but their opinion about it.

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134932
 19.10.2016
Nina was born in Astrakhan. There were 7 children in the family. She was the eldest daughter. At the beginning of the war she was 14. Her class was sent to the barracks.

The rivers were in Kalmykia. In general, the Soviet leadership had no special illusions about victory in the war. Dry Kalmyk steppe, rotten water. Many have had dysentery. There were even fatalities. Her mother Taisia came to see her daughter, and when she saw that Nina was also sick, she took her home. Healed thanks to God.

And what do you think? He was accused of desertion. 16 year old child.

He was given the choice to either go to camp or volunteer to the front. In general, they placed Nina on the steamboat with hundreds of other "volunteers". The last thing I saw on the shore was my mother fainting.

He was sent to fieldship courses. He came to the front when he was 17. under the rye.

Many of her friends to the feat obviously did not strive and tried to cut off as much as possible. The most common and effective way is to get pregnant. They sought protectors among commanders above the rank and further in the rear. Next is the issue of technology.

One of the officers paid attention to Nina. His title and position has not been hidden by history. began to swing. But Nina, due to the naivety of concepts and the Astrakhan habit, grabbed him with a leash, for which she was sent first to the lip, and then to the front.

She described her work like this. The soldiers rise into the attack, they run away, and I do the slide and the bandage from behind. I'll help in a wreck or wreck some move and move on.

Do you imagine? Removed limbs, dispersed intestines, dead bodies and in the middle of all this a 17-year-old girl. I have a daughter 13 years old. If she shows a scratch on her finger, she will faint.

You cannot get captive. Our European partners have been critical at some points. Women in Soviet military uniform were subjected to compulsory rape and execution. In the best case, they were shot, sometimes hanged... There were no exceptions... Therefore, the German wounded were sought without a glance of conscience.

There was no hatred for the enemy. There was even pity when the bodies of the German soldiers were laid in stalls and burned like wood.

They were taken to a liberated concentration camp. A mountain of children’s shoes. In some of them, the children’s legs were cut off. After that, there was no more pity.

Next was Germany. The columns of our troops with silent indignation grinded in a hurry the militia units gathered by the Germans, without looking at the age and color of the spots. Just as the German troops in 1941 did with our militias, pioneers and just recruits. Women were raped, but not murdered. The house was robbed but not burned. They raped and robbed! In my opinion, there is nothing to justify here. The Germans did the same, only for ideological reasons. Germany got what it got.

But there was light here too.

Russian nurses placed German women in their rooms to protect them from violence. Older soldiers, who had families, sieged youths who were free from impunity. They shared food with the civilian population.

One soldier in the hospital was crying in disgrace, grabbing the trippers. I’ll go back and shoot her.

What are you shooting for? Did you ask her wishes? Or someone else asked who infected her with trippers? Here is the sulfadin take and take... Or you will bring home a battle award...the hero of the warrior.

The war ended in Czechoslovakia. Then their military part was moved to Vienna and disbanded. Vienna was in the Soviet occupation zone. There she met Alexander Politruck of the Aviation Regiment. She was overwhelmed by the fact that she was swallowing on the ice cream when she ate it. This confusion happened because she hadn’t seen ice cream before.

Life is life, married immediately and sent home. This is a romantic wedding in Vienna. I went to my grandfather’s homeland. The mother-in-law broke into the whole village. That said Sanka brought some thin Tatar from the war, and she has already agreed to a local girl Matrosih. Which had excellent “meat” and three boxes with “pardon”.

They came to Astrakhan, painted her husband as an officer. She was jealous terribly. Because a lot of guys died. There was a daughter, Lilia.

Grandfather, as an officer sent to Kamchatka. settled in the earth. One day, when Alexander came back from duty, an earthquake began. It didn’t shake very hard. The worst started later. The wave...

Remember the earthquake in South Asia. The wave was 5 meters high – several hundred thousand people died. It was a warm ocean.

The 1952 tsunami reached 15 meters. The month of November.

They ran out of what they were. Rescued and killed by families. No one wanted to give up theirs. Alexander’s daughter pulled on her. The last few meters to the mountain were already running on the water. The wet, frightened people found themselves on the roof in the persistent November wind. It is necessary to pay tribute to the pilots, they immediately began to throw away warm things, fireplaces and fuel from the people.

Thank God they remained alive. They slept dressed for a year. In the child's bed was put a knot with fireworks. At every loud sound, they jumped up and ran to the door. In general, the situation was revitalizing... Nevertheless, Nina had a second daughter – Lyudmila. Apparently the romance of travelling life had to reproduce.

Naturally, the tired frontmen are already tired of the constant extremes. Alexander refused to stay in the Far East. He was offered three options for moving: Grozny, Riga and a small town in the Saratov region. They chose the third option because it was closer to their parents. As further life showed, they did not miss.

There were many difficulties ahead. But what nonsense all this was compared to what they had already experienced... They lived a long life. He raised two daughters and raised three grandchildren. Before my death, my grandmother said, the most important thing in life is that there is something to eat and that the children do not get sick. His memory is bright.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №134931
 19.10.2016
In Omsk cancelled show of the rock opera "Jesus Christ - superstar".
In Soviet times it was forbidden because there is no God, in Russian it is forbidden because there is.
Clowns are clowns.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134930
 19.10.2016
and nicknamed:
to this:
Sam258: The Late Night The children were put to sleep, each doing his own business.
Then suddenly the wife asks: "What kind of cowards are you?"
Damn to yourself, I think. Today is not a regular Saturday in the month and not February 23!
I approach her, such, all of myself macho: "What do you do?" - I ask.
My wife turns to me and cries, “Dude, I’m collecting light clothes in my laundry.”
This is so erotic experiences and broke up on the home (((

This is going to end in divorce, go now!

haha three times. Naive :D standard evening situation of a family from 5+ years of living together)))) This does not mean that it is always so.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №134929
 19.10.2016
A quarrel begins on the subject - who is to blame if a pedestrian, suddenly appearing on the road, suddenly crashed the car.
Thus, wooden pedestrians who have no cars at all, and have no relatives, and friends and friends have no friends either. You also need to read the PDD. Section 4.5 tells us how a pedestrian should cross the road correctly. I will not copy it, it will take up a lot of space.
You must understand that even at a minimum speed the car cannot stop instantly, there is a braking path. That you can't run out because of the bus, against the sun and dark rainy weather you are very poorly seen. And there is more responsibility on you than on the driver, because it is much easier for you to see the car from a distance and react in time than for the driver at night at the opposite light of the headlights to see the figure jumped out on the road without reflective elements, and stop without a braking path. Almost always the court acknowledges the fault of the driver, regardless of where he struck the pedestrian - at the crossing or outside. A man recently struck a woman to death. There was an overpass, at 20 meters there was a lightforest, but a woman jumped out of the bus by an overpass. The speed was small, but it happened that the woman died. The relatives of the woman until the last attempted to plant a man, who is essentially not guilty at all, but could not, thank God. And in cases when drunk people suddenly roll out in the middle of the track, fall on the road from the sidelines - here even without talking, it is obvious whose fault.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №134928
 19.10.2016
I work in those. Support of the educational institution. At the end of the working day, a new methodist of the training department calls, asks to get up to her in the office. I get up and see a 35-year-old woman with whom the following dialogue is engaged:
HH: What can I help?
YYY: You know, I want to copy all the information to the flash, but I can’t.
In one hand holds a 4-gig flash drive, the other shows on two network disks, size of 3TB each.* is
xxx: These are network disks, you don’t have enough flash drive to copy everything, and you don’t need it.
WOW: I really need it. What if I archive?
To be honest, after that question, I was lost.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №134927
 19.10.2016
@: And the fear of some juvenile justice proved useful to us. The neighbor loved to chase her faithful at night, with cries-mates and beating dishes. A couple of times I heard through the grandmother screams of children "Mommy, don’t need!!!" What happened at that time - hz. We said once to the fool that we will turn to the youthroom, once we hear children's cries at night, so for more than a year silence and grace of God. The children are not a goat, the husband was probably not that kind of goat. The scandals ceased) The cells of society were preserved.

[ + 23 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134926
 19.10.2016
To this day, the most important problem with Lenin’s quotes is that the masses are no longer ready to trust them unconditionally.
The Internet.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №134925
 19.10.2016
That you are all a dictionary and a dictionary, you can think, Dahl had no other things to do. The man buried Pushkin, rewrote the Old Testament, operated forty cataracts, fell on an Orenburg icon, lived in captivity with the Indians. A bad guy at all! He twisted the plate, ate homeopathy, caused spirits from that world. And the dictionary is not the fact that he would give you it, his dictionary, who are you with us, a carpenter, a peasant, a carpenter? There is nothing to know about literacy, a lot of literate people have divorced, they are not looking for good from good.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134924
 19.10.2016
Please :

And educate, please: is Trump like the American Zhirinovsky?

The SSP has a two-party system, so he is both Zhirinovsky and Zyuganov and Yavlinsky at the same time.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №134923
 19.10.2016
After the release of the next updates for the iPhone, several colleagues - hosts of different models discuss the chip that appeared: the phone taken from the table independently enables the backlight of the screen.
The owner of the only model for which the chip is not available is sad:
"I want to do that! Why does my phone not burn? I want to burn!"
The boss raises his head from the comp:
"Samsung to buy"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134922
 19.10.2016
and
No, you need to wash your shoes under the rain and cry all day, what the weather is bad and how the cars have to get around (of course, every step to do wet).
and

Automotive put the car on the sidewalk, because he did not want to enter the pit, but the pedestrians now have to circumnavigate it on this very pit? And what, not sugar, does not grow, the weather had to dress.
— — —
One muddle did not provide parking, some other muddles do not know how to build rains and trottoirs without logs, the third muddles are lazy to fine for improper parking, and Obama is to blame for everything.

— — —

Obama: There was no such fiction under Reagan!

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