I sent you a resume with patents.

2: fucking, I got a google machine suggested to translate your resume from Kazakh

Amy... what?

and
No, you need to wash your shoes under the rain and cry all day, what the weather is bad and how the cars have to get around (of course, every step to do wet).
and

Automotive put the car on the sidewalk, because he did not want to enter the pit, but the pedestrians now have to circumnavigate it on this very pit? And what, not sugar, does not grow, the weather had to dress?

Hillary Clinton’s pre-election staff tried in his video to betray Lew Lechchenko as a Russian billionaire who supports Donald Trump.

...
A couple of times, at that time, admin came for security. I couldn’t log in to the account and just formatted the hard drive. After a couple of scandals...

The Shield Blade, ADMI-I-IN? Was the sanitary permitted to compound? Why didn’t they chase the sweaters? In other words, burrels themselves.

This was the case at the Lithuanian-Belarusian border.



In Belarus, travel to Poland and Lithuania "for purchases" is very popular. In particular, IKEA, as the Swedes have not yet opened a store in Belarus.



I took an IKEA closet made up of several boxes. At the Belarusian border inspection, a woman approaches and asks to open the luggage. I open it and try to shake it a little. In order to reduce the price of the goods being transported and to pay a lower tax on importation, I begin to tell you that I take a few taburets, there are a few boxes and the cost of them is small. Of course, tables are cheaper than the closet.



She replied, “Man, I have been working here for 6 years, I can tell you not only the cost of this closet, but also to tell you on which shelf in Vilnius IKEA you took it.”

Once upon a time in the theater. Mayakovsky was a play - in it in the course of the action to the girl come the fools, each other's gossip, after each next the previous seems not so bad. At the end comes a completely terrible wickedness, and then she runs out on the front stage and screams in the whole voice: "I can't do more!!! I can’t do more!! I can’t do more!!and the curtains. The play lasted an hour and a half, without an interview, and shouted "I can’t do it anymore!!I wanted to be with the heroine. Who was the author of the play and what was its name?
What a play, this is life :)

The husband suspected his wife of infidelity. The SMS is different in her phone from Vitalik... Well, she thinks, I’ll check. He told his wife that he was leaving for a business trip, and he sat in the house opposite with a binoculars. A rough car enters, out of it comes a spilled superman with a full set: flowers, cognac, candy. He enters his entrance, climbs to his floor, calls his apartment...

The wife opens, they first go to the kitchen... the prelude... move to the bedroom.

Vitaly begins to dress:

A tall, beautiful muscular body... and here the wife begins to dress up: the breasts hang, cellulite.

An upset man puts his binoculars aside and says:

Damn, it’s uncomfortable before Vitalik.

Al: I am required in the report to indicate how many hours of the computer fleet I spent on removing the thickened lubricant and washing the contaminated parts with gasoline. Zero is categorically rejected.

After graduation, we went to the military for 3 months. They took us to a temporary camp, set tents, the flag brought Kamaz stolen asphalt, asphalted the square, put a daytime mushroom, in general arranged. For the normal completion of the process, one of our colleagues was instructed to draw a camp plan slightly smaller than a banner. The guy almost elegantly performed the drawing in carcasses, he decorated it with colored semi-tones and calligraphic signatures. The drawing decorated the central stand in the camp. After careful examination of the drawing, it turned out that the lighting mattress of the weapon building was depicted on the other side of the building. The disorder. The decision was made quickly, no compromises were allowed. The drawing is large and beautiful, liked the guide. Therefore, fighters were allocated, who excavated and rearranged the lighting matte, according to the drawing, respectively, together with the power cable. All the business.

The country is great and rich, and the people are low and poor.

It happened to me a rather funny but, at the same time, sad story. I came to the library for N.V. Gogol's "Dead Souls" and decided to joke with the librarian (the young girl was). To raise the mood and herself, asked to see 2 volumes of "Dead Souls". She went looking for a book.

Deputies of the State Duma are such bizarre protein compounds, which give a supply of 10 thousand rubles for 40 years of work to the state for retirement, and their ability to press a finger button for voting, without hinting, for which, by chance, they vote, are estimated at 450 thousand monthly. Apart from the other plugs...

xxx: I calculated here that if the average length of the penis is 15 cm, then if you put all the members of the planet together, you will get 525 thousand kilometers.
Xh: distance to the moon 300k plus minus
I see you not bored at work.
I mean =)))

You will not command your heart!
Wut: - I want to notice, cardiologist you are like yourself

The price of the car starts somewhere from one and a half million. All that is cheaper is sludge. ..................

Yes Yes Yes. Those who cannot afford it are poor. Is it so? Are you buying new cars?
Go to Fuck.

What do you think the collectors are doing in jail? and :)
YYY: They are training.

and
You will already decide what else to think about in advance.
and

Almost everything needs to be thought of in advance. At least from the age of eighteen, when a mentally healthy person begins to bear full responsibility for their actions.

I work as an engineer. I sit in the household at the facility, check the documentation together with the leader of the group (R). The Geodeticist (G) is coming.
D: The calculation was carried out, our data does not match the calculations of the Customer
R: It is the Customer does not battle calculations with our measurements, we are experts here, fuck.

He served a term near Moscow in a small but very officer-intensive unit. He took part in a patrol with a partner from another company.
From the room of the company comes the duty in part (the Lieutenant Colonel is a fan of military service with very thick points). We and the second patrol officer checked him, reporting that there were no incidents. He strictly asks where the Commander of the Squad and the Responsible (Captain and Starley) are.
Long stupid, looking at the hardly visible behind the back of the DPC stadium - the Captain controls a toy helicopter on the DU, and the starley runs around, trying to catch him with a cap.
We are making honest faces and my partner is broadcasting - they are preparing to pass the standard on the FFP at the stadium.
The underground unfolds, swings - and they are really preparing, proudly breathing, smiling at his thoughts about the army rising from his knees, and leaving.

In Omsk cancelled show of rock opera "Jesus Christ - superstar".
In Soviet times it was forbidden because there is no God, in Russian it is forbidden because there is.
Clowns are clowns.