From Skype:
The State Tax Administration of Ukraine in shock - Anjuta in the declaration on the enterprise's income in the column "Dependents" wrote "GOVERNMENT" - a fine - "for bullying over GNAU" - it is just a joke.

The girlfriend (p)
P: Going to Hobbit II
P: in the DDD
p:there was the moment - a healthy bee on me from the screen flies
Q: So close to my furry stomach to my face
Q: I wanted to lick this honeymoon!
Have you ever seen 3D porn before?

My wife works as an accountant. On January 2, I went to work. Customers may come for loading. I went to the bosses: - let's arrange a weekend, because nobody will come to the loading, customers are resting. Headquarters: - well, on the 2nd of January weekend... After 5 minutes, the spouse sent an email to all customers "On the 2nd of January weekend, there will be no shipment".))))

With Pikabu:
(Comments under the post on why you shouldn't say you're a ball in a compass)

Replaced the grandfather’s wife.
Do I format a hard disk?
and yes.
is exactly?
Well yes...
After that, all files will be deleted.
Yes without problem.
Maybe I’ll leave it, let’s copy it, it’s not difficult for me.
No, it’s not all right, remove everything.
Half an hour, I put the window.
Oh, Bogdan there were pictures.
But I was asking!!! to
Did you remove them? Oh God, it is very bad.
Who do you think was not invited to Easter?

Many customers are now asking the question: "How do you work in the New Year?"

Favorite customers ask "What are you drinking?"

Hello Father Christmas!

Create, please, a quotation in the runnet, and take all the commentators from here, speaking hamsters with knives-credits and just dwarves (ranging from ordinary to rare-feric).
thank you.
With respect - JustNic aka PZDC

This is:
This is why all communication with girls stops when they learn that I am a Capricorn according to the horoscope
Because soon you have Birthday) Begin to get to know closer to February.

Morning at work:

One boss climax, the second PMS, the third delay

All three are male, but behave worse than babies in critical days.

This is when in a large machine for a cup of coffee!20 rubles for you! Your entire bank. There are about 30 kg of small things! Total income of 12.5k rubles! There are only a dozen pieces of iron!! to
-----------
This is not a jackpot, it is a jackpot!

At work in the neighboring room, uncles from a friendly research institute sit, like permanent crew members. Among them is a very fun and intriguing Nikolai Stepanovich aged somewhere under 60. Two years ago, he was operated on his heart.
And here at the end of November to us in the door broke "Nikola Stepanovich badly! The ambulance was called, help the carrier carry out!" Well we moved.
In the corridor, the cleaner Larisa is, in my opinion, a Belarusian, very nice and sharp on the tongue of the aunt of 40 years: "Where you carry your feet forward, the heroes, so only the dead carry!"
And here is the voice from the blue-green colour of Nikolai Stepanovich: "Feet, hands - what a difference! Most importantly, don’t fall, I know you, skilled people!"

By the way, a couple of weeks later I saw him - the color is still green, but it is still as tiring. A great uncle.

Employee 1: Well, do we order the boss?
Do you want a new boss?
Employee 2: No, old "order"...

This is:

The most popular dishes of the Soviet cuisine
yyy: eggs with ivory
zzz: Ivory testicles are your and your husband’s sex games. And the dish - eggs, fried with caviar. the eggs. The Eggs.


The Russian language has in its arsenal reductive-attractive suffixes. I have the right to say "bread", "vodka", "milk"... I want to say "egg with turmeric", I want - "testicles with turmeric". Contrary to the fact that the testicles are called testicles, I also have nothing, but to compare with the word "testicles" only one meaning is somehow... bad. Indeed, every one thinks according to the measure of his own corruption.

xxx: I did not think that cleaning the potatoes can lead to philosophical reflections about but watching the potatoes, which appeared to be absolutely normal, beautiful, and eventually turned out to be half rotten, the idea came to my mind that people are exactly the same.
YYY: Oh, you are a real Belarusian... meditate on a potato.

by VKontakte:
Dear Father Christmas!I think an 8 month old baby more than enough 8 teeth, let us at least a couple of weeks to rest from them!! to

My son is a waitress. With a glass of water before I die, I can be calm. The main thing is to hold the tea on hand.

About the discussion from the local forum of the newly opened shopping center in Taganrog (which is rumored to be built with great flaws):
XXX: They say it will soon fall
YYY: Even the date is known.
ZZZ: Will there be discounts on this day?

Capello did not change a single item in the contract, he only added one. Per you will understand what the point is, "- quotes "Interfax" the words of Mutko, speaking to journalists.
The stones:
- item "termination of the contract for health reasons"
The Kimberly hair?
- Spartak to rename to "Food "))))
Citizenship of the Russian Federation?
And the wolf said he didn’t have a receiver ?
- In case of failure of the Russian national team at the World Cup in Brazil, he is paid all the money plus a bonus for failed
People’s Artist of Russia.
No questions about the jade?
Do you want to take Lopez with you?
- " Lifetime Training of Sb.R"
To all the amounts is attributed another nick.
Adopting a slug?
A piece of gas?
Money in the morning, chair in the evening.
Pay the ZP at the time.
Being among the 10 highest-paid coaches in the world
“The crowd of holograms on the Red Square insulting the honour and dignity of the Russian football team on the Internet.
Priority
- The first assistant in the national team to appoint the head coach from Omsk GAZMYAS.

There are people who without exaggeration can be called hamsters. You throw them a few rotten grains and they are happy. If you give them land and a tractor, they will die of hunger.

About the sale on Steam:
xxx: I have enough... on Black Friday I bought iGoree, now they lie “on the shelf” are burning :3
YYY: You’re talking like you’re buying games in the steam to play them. What a wild.

Nine out of ten passers on the question “What is TCP/IP?” answered that they don’t know. Only one person sent us straight away.