I walk around Berlin and a local "enlightened" approaches me and with a familiar such an accent says:
Touch the true knowledge, read the Bhagavad-gita. Absolutely free!
I love to read, and this is such a great book for free:
– Let’s, I say, my Revelation, I’ll get acquainted tonight.
Of course, it turns out that the book is free, but a voluntary donation would not hinder:
As much as you have in your pocket, give it.
As you wish.
I lean into my pocket, solemnly take out two rubles from there, and, having taken the book, I go to sunset. On my back in Russian:
You and Python!

My son goes to the pool. I ask :
Do you not go into the water?
“You are, Dad, I’m not a little boy.
- Look, or the water around blue, there is a special composition.
It is not blue...

One day I invited friends.

I was about 16 years old. I went to school and drank beer. There was no one at home like me. It’s all the more interesting to go out on a cold street or in a dirty parade. came to me. Opened the beer. Conversation was engaged.

And my father came back to work much earlier than he should have. Clock for seven. The father bluntly nodded his head. Beer was not approved. But he decided not to take educational measures. On the condition that we drink only one bottle and sit like adults - without the oatmeal and goot. I drank tea and sat down with us.

The conversation did not fade. And the father told the story of how he fought with the Uzbek in the army. The NAC had no such impressive stories. My dad told me one thing. As a young man, he mistakenly smoked marijuana and ran in the elevator. On the dessert, the father told about how in his childhood lost in the taiga and ate protein.

In the end, my friends came to visit me. They were friends with Dad.

Schedule number 2:
Used for sex dispute between TP and MPH.

A virgin is needed for sex.
A woman is not a hole in her legs than to live with you, it is better to have cats.
“Well, the factories, we’ll soon get sex robots!
The vibrators are already there.
Women don’t need sex at all, it’s just for our money.
What, don’t they give?? to

The victim) Now instead of a scourge, you can use "template 2" as in that joke about the rabbits.

Who determines that cat food has become even more delicious?
My youngest daughter. The expert. and :-)

If everyone were happy, the notion of happiness would be absent.

Good affair

“Be careful, do not do good without witnesses.”
by Tom Lerner

At fifteen in a row, I was ready for a good deed. He waited straight, even speech in his head. Here is a call from an unknown number. I take the phone and turn on the intonation of the tired hero who saved the world:

and alo.
Do you hear, dog, you fucking go there? You don’t even know how you got there!
Meaning of “fall”? (The intonation of the hero has betrayed me) And with whom do I have the honor?
I will find you myself! And mentions will deprive you of two years of rights. Listen, briefly, come back here, to the scene of the accident, here and resolve. I’m squeezing, I’m waiting! Do you understand me, shit?
- Yes, I understood, I understood, but don't throw the phone, listen as it was, I'll try briefly.
So, yesterday evening, at eight o’clock, I was passing through your street and, right in front of me, from the “meeting” the car miserably turned through the “solid”. Naturally, it did not fit, your Lexus was pumped up and, without stopping, sinked at sunset. I, as an honest man and also the only witness, did not lazy, frightened, stopped, found something to write, well, and pushed you under the wallet a note with a phone to tell the number of the car of the culprit and, by the way, if necessary, a video from the registrar wanted to throw. Yes, I have a registrar.

So, now on the fact: the brand of the car I, unfortunately, did not see something intermediate between "Zaporozhiec" and "Belas". The number, first remembered well, but then wrapped up and gradually forgot. All hope was on the video. I came home, I watched, and the registrar, the dog, also did not record, with him this happens. I need to buy new.

The only thing I remembered with certainty was that the evil offender had a painfully good karma, and he was fantastically lucky, even jealous. Try to look for these signs. All good to you, you can not thank...

I hanged the phone and turned off the phone. Next time I’ll turn it on in a month, maybe in three. After all, this is a special phone, only for communication with online shops and new, unexpected friends.

“This is the point!",- Chubais thought, not seeing his surname in the "Kremlin list of the United States"... For the first time in many years he was on the verge of failure.

I don’t like the moment when you do any male work, and your wife decides to look at you and check the process. So you can get on your hand with a question like, “What is this? Why did you do so? Shouldn’t it be different?”I cut it off immediately, saying, “I haven’t done it yet! Boot, why are you asking, and you don’t understand anything about it? This is the process, and I do what is appropriate. If I do, I will call.” And where she yxoit, I crampfully begin to rework it, then what she was right.

I bought a house. The elderly neighbors (husband and wife) brought instructions for accommodation. Children do not run (shyem), construction works do not lead (noise), the car do not heat (gases), do not fry (scars, smoke), the antenna grounded with a screened cable (from lightning) and many more items. For non-compliance with points - enmity. I told him what I was going to do to the Gypsies. No greetings anymore.

Corrie has a birthday. He does not drink alcohol. I decided to congratulate the ego without being wise, such as eating candy to seduce women, and using condoms to avoid consequences! In the store on the box I put a box of "Ferrero Roche" and a pack of Durech. The boxer blinking:
Could you take another champagne?
I am :
He does not drink...

I was ten years old, I don’t remember exactly, and it doesn’t matter. “It shattered.” A bell at the door. I open. Picture of oil. Two drunk men hold our completely drunk neighbor on top. They look at me, I look at them. Then one asks, Is this your father? I said no, above. And they dragged him up the stairs. The next day I told this story to my companion, who lived on the floor below, and it turns out he was also presented to Uncle Sasha for identification. Then we asked a boy who lived even lower. They were also brought to them, missing only the first floor. The men probably remembered that their companion did not live on the first floor, and remembered that the apartment was the first on the stairs, and the floor was forgotten.

XXX: How are you there?
Tagged: stupid
I don’t know who the sanitarians are.
Who was the first to wear a dress in psychiatry?
YYY: It is possible :)

One grandfather came here at work, a grit nitrate sensor bought! (I see two electrodes turning)

d - here is the water from under the crane fucking, in the refrigerator is better, but distilled, specially bought to compare, generally zero shows!

I - go here with the distillate, and throw a spoonful of salt there. How many nitrates have I added? (There it was up there)

Grandpa was offended.

Here is the sun in the whole sky today. So far. That can’t but rejoice and make crazy people go crazy. And the moon shone in the floor of the window, even terribly at 5 a.m.... The cat was excited, which I immediately informed)
HY: The light-feared citizens are vampires, right?
XZ: These are the Petersburgers.

Managing vital areas

For example education. You are illiterate.

XXX: My kitt tpechets o t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX: The Xoolodilnik is full, not in this case.
Zzzz: can he not do it from the cats, and by the seams?

"Today my grandmother learned what video calls in the vatsapa are and called me and told me that I am walking on the street without a hat. This is a new type of cyberbullying.
cyberbullying

Novosibirsk, 26 January 2018, all week around -40. A cat (a healthy "talking" Thai) walks through the apartment and is self-forgettable. I want to hear you say, it’s so cold, chop! But it only comes out of the pathos: oh, mountain! oh, mountain!

I got married to 120 kg, not a slim beauty

No lover would say that. The closest - on 120 kg beauty, not on these bones.
But rather somewhat softer and in a different style.