bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №89005
 29.10.2013
I was asked about the linguistic shock of a foreigner. There is an old joke about the first Russian embassy in England, which included the boys of Longinov, Tikhonov, Putyatin, Fokin and Nevrov.
They represent them to the Queen: Your Majesty! Long enough, thick enough, put it in, fuckin' and never off!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №89004
 29.10.2013
here here :

The game is "What? Where is? When is" The Leader:
- The question of our TV viewer from Uhryupinsk. Dear experts, do you remember the cartoon "Vacancies in Prostokvashino"? As the Cat Matroskin rented a cow Murka, who gave birth to a calf Havryush... Havryush turned out to be a bull. And now attention! Question: "How does Matroskin get twice as much milk?".

More to do...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №89003
 29.10.2013
<xxx>: The water in the office was turned off, the microwave broke, coffee beans ended, and the code is mystical. Great start of the week. – – – –

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №89002
 29.10.2013
I was at the doctor. Anamnese pleased: the injury - denies, disability - denies, something else - denies. Everything is denied. At the next interrogation...

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №89001
 29.10.2013
with "A window to Europe, on the back"

Nora Hardwick, 102, decided to help the children's football team of the town of Ancaster in the English county of Lincolnshire and appeared naked for a charity calendar.
In the photo, smiling Nora poses as Miss November. It has only a light pink shirt, but most of the body still remains hidden, as the 101-year-old model stands behind the bar stand of the pub.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №89000
 29.10.2013
From the stones in ZJ to the article about working in a taxi.

I worked as a student in Germany on a taxi. Once a man sat on the front seat of a huge dog, gave money, told where to take. I was afraid of him all the way and so I talked to him about the weather about the roads and so on. The dog did not respond to the electricity and looked at me suspiciously.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88999
 29.10.2013
Sasha
You know, and desires sometimes materialize.
by 22:39:58
I opened up beyond my abilities.
I thought, it would not be bad after a hot bath to drink a cold wheat beer, with fish, and watch the big bang theory, a new series.
And I had to think about it, how a woman came from work, who owed me beer, for the help of a computer, brought everything as I ordered.
I'm going to the courage bomb, and there's a new series!
I am happy as a dough)))

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №88998
 29.10.2013
No connection to the server. There were no warnings!
And the servants rarely warn when they lie down.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №88997
 29.10.2013
Comment to the video of the patriarch Kirill's cortex
(A lot of security cars, an ambulance and the Cadillac fifth pass through)

xxx: For safety purposes, it was apparently carried in parts, and at the end of the Score, microchirurgists, for subsequent assembly and launch))))

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №88996
 29.10.2013
XXX: Have you prepared a cultural program for my arrival? and ;)
yyy: fungi wait, let's sit and talk about water drinks
xxx: So I presented the picture: "Sitting on a table at the window of mushrooms, and looking into the gray sky, waiting for me)))"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88995
 29.10.2013
to this:
Yesterday, when I told a series of Santa Barbara, I proved by buying wine that I was 26.
____
Neither less nor more.

[ + 50 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88994
 29.10.2013
XXX Please Help! My daughter bought a doll, baby borne, fed meat, we tried for an hour to put her on a pot, and she doesn’t want to do her business. Written, put the doll right, and slightly press. How is it right, and where to press? I will break it out soon!
YYY: Is there a hole there? In the pop? Or is it closed and when pressed on the bubble opens?
XXX: a hole 2, one for quotations, the second - for the output of cabbage. But the doll has a blindness. I am already in her mouth, even the air does not pass. types of valves are closed inside.
ZZZ: raise your mouth from the poop
XXX: it won’t work, because the pope has a valve in the doll.
FFF: the pen needs to be pressed (I don’t remember which one) and it crashes
XXX: What are you? The foot instructions are written. I did not press the electricity, I even sat on it, no! You would see my husband’s face when he went to the bathroom, and I have a doll on the pot, and I crawl around her and push her out in every way.
QQQ: You can find a cockroach on the street and put a doll in a pot, and tell the child that the doll has rattled after a long talk!
ZZZ: You are in your mind, "from the street" to drag some contagious shit into the house, it is better to mock yourself then, your shit does not smell and it is cleaner than the street.
ZZZ: The Author Our entire department of programmers and sisadmines read your discussion today. The people cried, cried, whispered and pressed from laughter. Thank you huge.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88993
 29.10.2013
Correspondence after the club
Tag: shut up
XHHH: He removes me a lick.
XHH: And guess what is falling out.
by O_O
Theme: Confetti
Tagged: blaze

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №88992
 29.10.2013
Unhealthy interest in health leads to deplorable results.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88991
 29.10.2013
Sometimes you don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
The news is “rejoicing.”
At night, a resident of the village of Borisoglebsky (Yaroslavsk region) named Anna began fighting, and at half five in the morning she called an ambulance to be transported to the nursery. However, the old "Gazel" could not get to the village due to bad weather conditions... Feeling the fighting, immediately began to act according to the plan. They and their husband set fire to the fire, called a fire car and drove to the nearest nursery: the snowed road stretched to him for 150 kilometers.
Oh Russia...

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №88990
 29.10.2013
- They say that in a person's life the student years are the best, and I have not yet felt something in full.
Then it will be even worse...

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №88989
 29.10.2013
by Habr. Discussion of childhood memories.

The decommissioning of a neighboring factory and military units in the early 1990s greatly influenced my childhood with the presence of powder, magnesium and trothyl.
YYY: And now you know chemistry like your four fingers?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №88988
 29.10.2013
Tyumen: Fuck, survive... Even our winter has now emigrated to Europe!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88987
 29.10.2013
From the comments to the movie "Stalingrad".

7 is Bondarchuk’s back-end voice is an excellent director’s decision. Why try somehow to reveal a character when you can just tell him what his name is and why we should sympathize with him. Hopefully, in unspirited Hollywood, they will soon take this practice too. Imagine what “Saving Private Ryan” would have been if it had been accompanied by an old-fashioned speaker speaking in detail about the difficult life of every American soldier.

8 is How wonderful that the only sniper on the most important section of the front was ours.

Thirteen The battle of Stalingrad was the most cruel and great battle of all times and peoples. And for those who do not guess about this based on the scale of most of the battles shown in the film, there is Bondarchuk’s chord voice, who is always ready to explain this.

16 is The slogans “they fought for Katya” or “They wanted her to love them” would fit the movie much better.

17th Hunger, cold, terrible sanitation and household conditions, never-ending shelling, sniper duels... the creators of the film probably heard something about it.

22nd During the war, the mail worked much better and delivered letters even from the German-occupied Gomel.

24 is If in the final the Germans had a squad of pink tanks... everything would have been exactly the same.

Thanks Lirik85 for raising the mood!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №88986
 29.10.2013
Like a shirt or a car, they speak straight, and how to fuck - they make sense! Say it directly or start doing it yourself without hints!
Start making a shirt with your mouth.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna