IRR: I want to read the book.
50 Shades of Grey
HamsterLord: Is it about Photoshop?

___
In accounting, no less than a ruble, when administrators in 100 rubles can not allocate VAT!
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Even with VAT you are putting a wrong task. 100 rubles is 100 rubles, there is no VAT. I am like an admin if I get a salary, then in 100 rubles of my salary will be 0 VAT. If this is the amount that must be taxed VAT, it will be +18%, i.e. by 18 rub. If this is the amount paid with VAT, then the VAT paid from there will be 100-100 / 1.18 = 15.25.
The matter is only that the admin does not have to know anything about VAT on work. His relationship with finance is limited to his salary. But the accountant should know the basics of working with the PC and generally have at least a little common sense, and not get stuck at work.

Now there is a Google disease – the brain refuses to remember and asks to google. Officially regulated by the US Ministry of Health.

Marat
Let us send...
by 15:06
Yulia
Let’s eat a snack and walk on the roofs of Stockholm?

We go from the Crimea, in the Kherson region we overtake a truck with pigs, well, it is clear where... And the wife is so thoughtful - and pigs are happy, they think they are taken to the water park.

I have the habit of going home naked. My girlfriend doesn’t mind unless I approach the window to close it or open it. He starts shouting "Why are you shouting out the window?". Specifically she screamed. Over time, the bulge of claims fell asleep and "pushing a hook into a window" became a local stable expression with the value of "open/closing a window". Now at work the batteries have already been turned on, but outdoors are quite warm and the room is a little hot. Then shock my colleagues when I said “I’m probably shaking through the window” and, without waiting for an answer, went to the window. There seemed to be all theirs, but such a turn they obviously did not expect. You can imagine how I am going from the second floor of their office by the window. I have not even explained anything to them.

I explain to my boss far from the Internet and modern technologies, how to register an e-mail:
I: -Look, before the password you need to choose a login, which is easy to remember yourself, preferably easy to read and bright, because. It will be the address of your mailbox. Reduce your FIO, surname, nick. So let’s try any word you like.
Can I take a clown? – What is a clown? I can?
Well you can, generally people choose nics according to their positioning - without thinking about the meaning I burned out.
N : What?? to

Further relationships in production did not work.

The xxx:
If houses and buildings were built by the creators of Angry Birds, they would not fall, even if two-thirds of the bearing structures were destroyed.

Light: Imagine you’re giving a gas-builder, brick, cement, shiffer, a project and saying you need to build a garage. The guests do not understand you, but they see that they are given material, which means that you need to build. Garages they did not see when they were born, but they know how to build toilets. When you need to build, they build a toilet.
The same is true of IE in the form of JS and CSS... >_<

From corporate chat:
The customer is outraged, we promised to deliver the project a month ago, and there was no horse. What will I write to them?
WOW: Write the truth that we have two more projects, and we have put a big screw on them.
zzz: This is how you can write on all three projects.

The scholarships increased by 140 rubles.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Eat the shrimp!

xxx: If a girl says “I’m upset!”", it’s enough to ask “How much do you weigh?”" to erase this superstitious expression from her face))

You are a potato in a pot what are you going to do?
With a chicken!
Okay, but I’m lazy to clean the potatoes.
YYYY: Then do with the meat!
XXX - Chicken with meat? O_O

I come to work today - and I have no place to hang my jacket, all my shoulders are busy. To my restrained surprise (formerly it was enough for everyone) a colleague gently gives: "Yes, a girl came to us, asked if we could get dressed. How could I refuse a girl? Especially those who want to dress up..."

to this:

You have borrowed your sexual pedo-homosexual concerns! It’s a lot easier: I just picked up my pants in the online store.

Maybe it's just not worth doing the choice of cowards in the working hours of everyone's eyes?

In Altai, friends have a friend, he has a land there. But he has no bobs, but the bobs are at the neighbor. So, the guy (who knows friends who have no bobs) decided to make a bobs farm and bring there tourists (business to blur), he went to the neighbor with a request to borrow him bobs, he replied berry type free, only catch himself. This is how we were supposed to go to Altai to help catch bobs) But at the last moment the urine turned away from the creative hemisphere of the brain and we did not go to catch bobs.

Brodyaga: This morning a mosquito came before me... a real, living, disgustingly feeding 3,14 daras. And through the dream, hearing his whisper near the ear, I thought that it was necessary to synchronize with the sleep server using SSL certificates, not only for authentication, but for the entire session, so that the mosquito could not get in.
You need to be treated, Barry.

Discussions about Soviet films:

The xxx:
Kamrad, can you help me find a cartoon like Latvian too? I remember in childhood terribly scary scene from him: at night, in the village house a holiday and suddenly guests see that the monster looks out the window, everyone with the torches run out to look for him, while looking for the owner disappears whether the daughter or the bride. I don’t remember anything else from him.

YYY :
Yuri, a great story for the song of the band "King and Shut", for example :)

The standard Google player in the phone has been updated, and the shuffle mode has been added under the name "I am lucky". What a miracle he took the sounds from the folder with the navigator and now such pearls happen: after the track there is the sound of the navigator "speed limit 30" and then there is the track of the tattoo "we will not catch". or the sound of the navigator "attention in front of the hospital" and then dabbstep :))

Of the explanations in the protocol for violating the silence at night: "The silence was not violated, only 2 times shouted from pain and 3 times from pleasure."