xxx: People, I may not catch up with humor, but are you sure that escort, escalation, and espresso are written through "x"?
YYY : Of course! And also: exe, sketch, ecstasy...

It is a funny fact that in order to become rich, you do not need to read books, but to sell them.

and grammar:

People, I may not catch up with humor, but you are sure that escort, escalation, and espresso are written through "x"?

Sorry, and this is not you once to the general on "I remember, I once had in my mouth one x" said "I'm sorry, but it's right to say not in the mouth, but in the mouth"?

The road was repaired. Everything turned around, the trolley buses didn’t go. Instead, buses with trolley bus numbers of routes. There was a trolley bus number 11, and there was a bus number 11. But the bus route No. 11 did not go anywhere, in addition, part of the bus and trolley bus route goes through the same street. The bus number 11 arrives and the passengers at the stop ask, “Is it a bus or trolley bus?” "This is a trolley bus". And everyone understands everything.

Cut a knife and that’s all.
Do you need to wash them afterwards?

No, it doesn’t need to be washed, but I use it again and again as much as possible. I do not understand the sarcasm. If I am being forced to use an eco-friendly product, why should I complex because I minimize this use?

By the way, dear Ladies, uncover the secret: where do you spend toilet paper in such a quantity?!?!? When I live alone - a roll of more than a month is spent, and as a lady appears - in two days! Are you eating it?? to

Sorry for the modest question. Are you wiping or wiping?

I work with Sysadmin.
And they all got, at the call, the same answer:"I did not press it myself..."
Well, I forced everybody to make applications for me: I went to the computer, turned it on, started it and so on.
My job went to Hurricane! No request is delayed and arrived within 5 minutes. made and free.

So... calls the general and says:"What did you do with the applications"?
And I said to him, “No one is hanging; I do everything right now!”
He:-"It’s good, I praise it!"...by the way, I don’t have a laptop on, look here.
I:-" Write a Request!!" and

He found a laptop without a battery and he forgot to turn on the network!

The Owner of the Porcelain Mountain

If you are really tired of the old Soviet plates and want to buy a new one, what prevents you from simply taking and throwing out this old one or giving it to someone in the country. Why stick to things you don’t like?

I knew a nurse. In response to a surgeon’s remarks about poorly sterilized instruments, she spoke with wide eyes "Where are the microbes? Show me at least one" and showed a non-sterilized scalpel.
The City Hospital.

There is a three-year-old cat in the house and a new cat has recently been adopted. So this little thing so got the older one that he now sleeps on the microwave, which, in turn, stands on a two-meter refrigerator))

Picked up:
I add :

>> It seems that all doctors of gynecologists in training have a special subject, which is taught:
1st All the illnesses from the fact that the woman did not give birth.
2nd And what you want, the woman has already given birth.

> This is a common course, both an oculist and a neurologist told me about it.

I wonder, and the men's oculists-neurologists what do they say? "It’s all from what didn’t serve"?

The case was in 2010. He studied at the last class at the school. In one building with us there was another shell, respectively, the dining room was one for all. Because of the wild queues of the announcing students, we and our fellow students preferred to go to the store, which was not far from us.

Once again we went there and bought everything the student soul wanted, we waited for one of the comrades to finally decide on the purchases. We see such a picture. Behind this guy is a man holding in his hand 500 rubles with one note. One group turns to him, looks closely in his eyes, takes this money straight from his hands, pays it at the box office, takes the deposit and leaves. To say that we were confused is to say nothing.

We approach him and ask him what it was. As we go back to school, he tells us everything in order. He is standing and feels as if someone’s hand slips into his back pocket, where it was just 500 rubles with one note. He turns around and sees the money in his hand. At first, I thought to run him in the cheek, but I thought it wasn’t worth it.

We are already approaching the slate, the couple is about to begin, well, a group member at the end of the story decided to show us what pocket the perpetrator was in.

He puts his hand in the jeans and makes you think. He gets his money from there.

From this focus, everyone’s look is even more shaken than from the moment that happened 5 minutes ago.

We go back to the store with the whole crowd, hoping to find this uncle there, to return to him the accidentally stolen and explain the situation, but unfortunately, he was no longer there.

I imagined how this story looked from the man’s side and was terrified. In the middle of the day, in public, some teenager drops him for money, while he is paid by them and goes to his friends. The script for NTV is ready.

We got rid of a young man from school earlier. I decided to look at the antikafe. Wake up in the first half of the day. There is no one in the antikafe except us: if you want to play on the board, if you want to compete in justdance, if you want to beat each other on the board with heroes from the Justice League. Well, of course, everything was intertwined with hugs and kisses (love, romance and all that).

And here we sit, we play, I’ve already accepted that his Aquaman is now “washing” (drop into the toilet, as I called it) with his superpower my Harley Quinn. As here under the ceiling is a strange sinking and in a couple of seconds the pipe over us breaks and our things (and part of us) is shaken by a stream of not water at all. In appearance, it was most like Venom from Spider-Man. And by smell... Antikafe was in the basement. And it was the untransmitted smell of fecal waste of all the inhabitants of the upper floors.

Romanticism was killed to the root on that day. As killed and my bag, and a leather case on the phone, from which no scarf was removed from the smell of the first-class shit.

And if you suddenly get into a similar situation, never try to fill the smell of shit with your favorite perfume, so that the amber in the subway is smaller from you. Amber is less. The perfume is no longer loved.

P.S. And the owner of the antikafe didn’t even scratch or apologize for the incident. It was not his fault, but the builders from above. Thank you for not paying for this visit.

This is a shit, in the real sense of the word, a date : (

and OK:

YYY: No, it’s not about discomfort. We (boys) are stupidly embarrassed about possible problems with erection with a new partner (and so exciting, and still all this stuff with rubber). Dumbness doesn’t seem to be hard enough, yes. And all the talk about feelings is blasphemy to hide the banal, sad and stupid truth.

And to catch up with what or shake up the one with which in the first time, is it cool what? Take Viagra until you get embarrassed. And in general, many girls understand your puzzles and don’t expect fairy sex moves from place to place. In a normal couple, sex only improves over time.

Five minutes of liquid:
Argument, if it is not possible. But those who are really harmful, 1-2 in a hundred, the rest survive.

Take the box and read: even modern contraceptives, with reduced doses of hormones, are not recommended to take after 35. Thirty and fifty, man. And menopause occurs in 45 - 50 - 55 years, who. And what do you think women now don’t fuck after 35, when libido, in general, is just at its peak?
And the second is why the manufacturers write so. The fact is that contraceptives worsen the condition of the vessels, help the occurrence of varicose veins and thrombosis. The latter is not joyful, since thrombosis leads to the formation of thrombos, with the rupture of which follows death.
Okay, when taking hormones is advised by a doctor (my case) - there are problems where you can't do without them. But when the next squid requires reception from her skin - it means that he should write on her, her health. He just uses her shell.

A large company conducted a survey.
“What are you ready to do so that you don’t fall under the cut?”

Owned
50% are willing to sleep with the boss.
40% are willing to sleep with the boss's wife.
10% are willing to sleep with the boss's dog.
0% are prepared to work better.

X: According to the legend, chess was born when a surviving fighter told on figures how the lost battle went. I wonder how he was justified.
Y: This is elementary. The ancient army consisted of heavy and light infantry (heavy and heavy). Weights are slow armored. LPs are mobile, single-hit. The weights are going to fight with the weights of the enemy - their fight will decide the outcome of the battle. The LP winds forward and exhausts the enemy's weight. In chess, judging by the speed of the figures (with the same damage), LPs are moving figures. Ferguson is a horse. The weights are pedestrian.

y: In the initial chess position, the pedestrians stand in front of them, stepping the actions of the LP. Leave the white figures as they are and change the places of the pedestrians and the figures of the blacks - the blacks will win. Apparently, the soldier said: “Our commander-in-chief chose the worst order of combat. Our cavalry was still able to break forward, crushing its own infantry. But what could I do? The archery was hindered by the back of their fighters until the defeat of the army.

Telephone call from 1C programming manager:
1C - (turns unclear) Idiots all
M – What did you say?
1C – I said good morning
M – I need to come back yesterday and remove all my corrections.
1C – I can’t take you back to the past.
C. Remove all my changes.
1C - we do not have a specific response to your changes, we do not monitor you
M - I did a lot in the nomenclature yesterday, return everything as it was
1C - I repeat - I can't get you back to yesterday
M: Then I’ll call you tomorrow.
1C is calling.

I struggle with a compass without a carpet. I complain to my husband:
I need a mouse carpet.
“Where can I get you so many mice to get enough for the carpet?”

Emm about this:

Shiva, your desire is simpler. If you put on some beginner photo model for a session, it will lead others, in 2-3 years you will have a crowd of these photo models. And where there are models, there are the millionaires who paid for their costume.

It will be a little wrong. If the "dress" for "any beginner photo model" will be dizzying good, it - attention! No one will be told where she took him, so that no one else would walk in such a superb shroud, and she, born, would not be frozen. If he isn’t fantastic, she just won’t wear it. Even if it’s just good, it’s not. Because it is not a brand. Don’t give good goddess, her, a model, will be suspected that she doesn’t keep up with fashion trends.
By the way, if our hypothetical sewing still will sew for photo models, then they, and unlikely millionaires will look at the sewing motorist as a service staff, no more.
And you, dear man, essentially offer a motorcyclist to re-qualify into a fashion designer... not interested in who will actually feed her while she is learning, progressing, gaining popularity, where she will take the start-up capital, and all that.