bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148194
 15.01.2018
If your husband is stupid and selfish it is your choice, if your wife is stupid and foolish it is the same.

Only if he or she announces it. You know, our square nest, people 1) show themselves from the best side during care, hiding the shortcomings (consciously or not), 2) CHANGE with the years and when the situation changes. In particular, a woman who was married to an officer told me that he was much less off when she had the opportunity to work. Unfortunately, when they lived in military towns, there were simply no female vacancies, but when he was transferred to the city, she always worked. And before the wedding, he did not say a word that he was going to oppress her when she became dependent on him. Strange, they usually have to warn, right?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148193
 15.01.2018
Q: Do you want another cork? How did the kids play me yesterday? = 0
XX: I am going home. There are no late cousins. We went home to sleep. I walk into the kitchen, I say to my cat, "Hello Musa," she responds, I guard her and I go on. Strangely, I don’t think there’s any more reaction to me. and Laden. I stand to cook, I call Mussa, I give her a piece of meat, she eats. Then I sat down to eat, the cat lay next to me. I guard her. And she let me whisper, I tell her that you’re all about eating, I take her on my arms and I understand that she’s offgenically heavy. I look, and here it comes. Kids of cats changed =DD (We both have practically identical cats, both Muse, the difference is only in the more colorful color of their cat, well, and their one is more fed). In the evening, you can’t distinguish without good light. I understood the weight. My Musa was taken to play and his Musa was brought to replace and waited for a reaction.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №148192
 15.01.2018
Anger is heated by this shooting of housekeepers and heroes of the couch troops. Give each other a mind elsewhere, and here people who understand subtle humor and cynical sarcasm rest from the realities of life. Get out of our sandbox, you have swept us all the sand.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148191
 15.01.2018
<In Kuzbass under the roof of the house found a frozen body>
Regel: It was found in time, or it would have been removed in the spring. Whichever headlines were then... "The Sosulka who killed an old lady in Kuzbass was a previously convicted unemployed Kuzbassov". "A man killed his neighbor under the appearance of a puppy".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148190
 15.01.2018
Do you love each other and do not respect each other??? I have been married for 6 years. <a description of how it is NOT difficult to do all the work at home because the little things are for yourself>

Oh, it is all so. There is strength, but there are no children. But then to most aunts something begins to come... But it’s usually too late.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148189
 15.01.2018
My friends gave my grandmother a new mattress for her 90th birthday. She entertained all the guests with screams: don't throw out the old mattress, I had sex on it!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148188
 15.01.2018
How they suffer! But (recalling the recent fight) the care of protection is transferred to men.

No one has translated. Everyone demanded that men respect the issues of protection for equal. Or do you mean that refusing to take postinor as a contraception is a transfer of responsibility to a man?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148187
 15.01.2018
Here it is simple: if a man is shit, then he will behave accordingly. Independent of gender.
Do not worry, and you will be lucky.

My dear, but all conflicts happen for one reason: each side believes that the opponent behaves like a shit. He requires too much, gives too little. The only way out is to try to look at the situation from the opposite side. Women have long been able to compare, for example, caring for a baby and going to work. And the men? Hint: the vast majority of moms are eager to finally set up a child in the kindergarten and go to work. Why do you think so?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148186
 15.01.2018
The army takes a year.
Pregnancy and decree - at least two.
Army rise at seven.
The child wakes up five times a night.
In the army food from the dining room.
In the decree - from what milk more, and then just had time for the baby to get up.
The army has heavy physical labor.
With the child is the same.
There are dismissals in the army.
You can’t leave the baby for half a day.

I went to the army once and forgot.
With children it is different.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148185
 15.01.2018
Come back quickly! I will forgive now.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148184
 15.01.2018
News from January 5
Stephen Hawking accused of sexual harassment

Stephen Hawking is a 75-year-old world-renowned scientist-physicist, the world's largest specialist on the arrangement of the universe, not getting up from a wheelchair for almost 50 years.

FOX News that Black Lives Matter activist Sally Stevenson accused scientist Stephen Hawking of sexual harassment.

She wrote on her Facebook page that she sent Hawking an email asking him to donate $500,000 to protect the rights of the LGBT community and national minorities. Hawking rejected it, saying that the study of "black holes" needs more funding than the social issues that many public, public and private organizations in the United States are already dealing with.

“But we all know very well what sort of black holes this dirty paddock wants to study,” Sullivan wrote.

One comment on the news:
It is not the bottom. Not a day...
This Abyss

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148183
 15.01.2018
The sexologist:
The Doctor! I am gay...
The doctor looks at the "United Russia" icon on the pattern of the patient's jacket and says:
“No, dear, you’re not gay... You’re much worse off.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №148182
 15.01.2018
If you occasionally do something and face the misunderstanding of other women, then you can still go away "that they are zombies with brainwashed, what to take from them", but when you face this really often, you begin to see that this is a system and it is impossible to declare the zombies of almost all surrounding women. Otherwise there will be a movement for the rights of zombies :)))

God why not? The first step in the movement for someone’s rights is to convince those people that they should have those rights! In the industrialized power of the 21st century, not all women know that they cannot be beaten at all. How to work "and then to another uideot".

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148181
 15.01.2018
No, I’m not a white man at all... frankly, I’m lazy and don’t consider myself a good housewife. I have an unattainable ideal – my friend. She is yes! Cooking cocktails or teftels with antagonists, no purchased peelings, only hands of personally made farce. Every week she washes the windows, removes all the cabinets and cabinets, washes the legs at the tables and chairs, dusts and washes the floors every day, and how she hangs the underwear!!! By color, length and density of the fabric is selected. Her dishes are always shining and whispering on the touch...and the preparations!?50 kg of fermented cabbage, twisted until 5 am - the norm of life. She has two sons, sometimes I wonder with horror, where will she find a bride to also, or at least approximately, lead the house!?!? to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148180
 15.01.2018
Who can explain:

No one accuses women of serving men. However, the army discriminates against men. This is compulsion, you know? Especially by gender.

Why have I never heard men fight against the army for their rights? Women want equal rights - there are appropriate organizations, they are fighting for the adoption of appropriate laws (for example, that parental leave can be taken by both parents). Where is the movement against the army? There is a committee of soldier mothers – and again women are fighting, now for their sons.
Men complaining to a woman about the injustice of the army - what do you want? Let her take a transparant and go to the Kremlin to fight for your rights?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148179
 15.01.2018
The movie was recently. There is some wealthy man on the go, that you have to get married, says an elderly housewife, saying, here you and I marry. She answers that he will not go for him - now he pays her five thousand for cleaning, and his wife will not pay them for the same cleaning.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148178
 15.01.2018
She has two sons, sometimes I wonder with horror, where will she find a bride to also, or at least approximately, lead the house!?!? to

I am married to a son of such a mother. First, he took me away from my mother. And now I’m happy that I don’t get rid of his demands to help the general every week, and then I don’t cry that he doesn’t value my care. Home preservation is generally prohibited, I barely dropped 15 liters of cucumbers per year))
And we always do homework together and share it fairly. This is why I am a mother-in-law and I love it.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148177
 15.01.2018
I think it all goes to the fact that after a while men will get tired of all this nonsense about feminism and will just create sex robots with the function of grinding-wash-talk. And on the other side of these babies.)

And even easier for us, the male replacement - the vibrator has already been invented.
Washing, cooking and cooking I know.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №148176
 15.01.2018
I wonder if I can’t charge the cushion for tomorrow. I thought and did not stop.
It took everything, maybe two hours. Paul didn’t wash, that’s the key difference!
so why wash it, it's clean, relatively - rumba rides there and there

The main difference is that you don’t have a husband.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148175
 15.01.2018
I am standing at the stop, two women are talking. The other: "I thought winter at home I would sit, in the spring I would go to work, I would drive cold, I hate winter!" and the second: "Why didn't I quit?" - "Well, you will die, you will die, and no pleasure, and most importantly, how much don't worry - it is not noticeable! I’d rather work in Vietnam for myself..."

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna