bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125616
 18.03.2016
A: I have seen one with a face.
Shit shit!! The letter is viewed by FSB
A: I have never seen the face personally.
I am in Pine Chew)
M: Yes, I am in the notebook for 1st Fig.
A: well
M: on Linux
A and O)
by phone)
M: The Disc

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125615
 18.03.2016
As the saying goes, tell me what you smoke and I’ll tell you what department you are from.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №125614
 18.03.2016
I waited a long time for electricity. And finally he will come, tomorrow at two o’clock, no, at four o’clock, on Saturday at four o’clock on Sunday, early in the morning of the fourteenth day of the month of Nisan, in a white cloak with a pebble. under the left eye.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №125613
 18.03.2016
19846 “R” is not needed
You are a dirty duo!

You were operated on your tongue, but you should have been on your brain!
And nine operations on the rabbit's lip, non-reversal of the neck and rhinoplasty (consistently), like you, right?
I am 43, my wife is beautiful and smart, and so on. and so on, very successful.
And what, will I now shoot if my pronunciation isn’t perfect and you don’t like it?
People like you have been around me since childhood.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №125612
 18.03.2016
News: "In Moscow, it will be forbidden to paint the fence in bright colors "

Do you give the colour of the wire? I am afraid of something...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №125611
 18.03.2016
I complain here to a friend that I am not drinking constantly getting caught on corporations - "you do not respect us, what? ", and other methods of pressure. He says "Tyfu, I found a problem! Once you agree, you drink a bottle of beer, and you instantly become inadequate - you go to everyone with dumb stories, sing songs with a bad voice, eat olive with your hands... In short, have fun as you can, but do not catch a bat for a joke, if there is little. No more will be offered, I tell you from experience."

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №125610
 18.03.2016
Your life is meaningless if you have never blinked a cat in response.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125609
 18.03.2016
K., 45 years old: - A weaving with a cooker, with a sweet grandmother...
P., 6 years old: - And who is this babaricha?
Q: Well, it was also such a virgin who was hiding under the window... That is, even under the previous king. And other girls then there also said that they would prepare a party, weave the canvases. And she was drunk and said this: I would have been the only one in the world to get a baby. In general, they made her a babary, and what it was that she meant - she herself could not remember, and nobody could think.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №125608
 18.03.2016
X: I need to drink peppers.
YYY: What is it? The Cold?
XXX is no. of Alcoholism.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №125607
 18.03.2016
My younger brother was taught by a teacher in the first class. They humiliated, insulted and underestimated. I don't know why he was silent and didn't tell his parents anything, but it came out only a couple of months later, when wild scandals began in the house in the morning with screams of "I won't go to school!" And in the notebooks stood three, despite the correctly found solutions. To transfer the child to the parallel class the director refused - the teacher will be offended.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125606
 18.03.2016
Her husband was pleased with an unusual accusation: “You’re worse at night than Freud in the grave!”

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125605
 18.03.2016
xxx: 2045 is, roughly speaking, in 30 years. 30 years ago, we were promised flying cars, an aeroboard and a skype without brakes. and :)
YYY: Well, a skype without brakes – it’s you bent.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125604
 17.03.2016
You fucking wasted your salary!! to

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №125603
 17.03.2016
We have a very sociable grandmother, from the neighboring apartment. He is 86 years old and lives alone. The roof has been removed for a long time and apparently forever. Because of her, they didn’t start putting a new call after repair, the sweet habit of pressing and holding until you’re bored. It comes for any reason, often without that. The day of the week, "I thought you were at work", "And the husband at home? And let him make me a call/light/unitaz/stance with my chamber..." (need to be emphasized as needed). Walks as at 6:30, 9:00, 11:30, 13:00, 17:30, 21:00, and a bonus if you do not sleep at 23:30 and 03:00 (+-10 minutes).

Yesterday she tried to enter the apartment.

Let me sit with you!

Why Why?

Well be it!

I am not interested in guests.

I sit quietly in the corner.

and no.

You are very uneducated. You never say goodbye to me. You’re sitting at home all day and you can’t help me. You will invite me to visit, and I will not come. And at all! You have a husband and I don’t.

And proudly stumbled on myself.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125602
 17.03.2016
The struggle, which grew into the footsteps, occurred in Moscow's College of Hospitality Industry

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №125601
 17.03.2016
Near the elevators at the University:

We’re making a little story about your university. Can you answer a few questions?

Sorry, I am late for the bill.

It will not take much time.

"I'm really late, take someone else, look at what beautiful girls are standing!

We don’t need beautiful ones.

and :/

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125600
 17.03.2016
At the age of 6, I read the science fiction story "The Constitution of the Russian Federation", a lot of office and no plot, but what a fantasy!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №125599
 17.03.2016
Read by Marquis de Sade.
Nothing compared to the feeling when she says they’re written without a fire.

...

Unfortunately, this is the truth. Everyone, having read the work of the Marquis, comes to a similar conclusion.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125598
 17.03.2016
XHH: A system administrator from the CRB called now, asking if I don’t have a hard drive from a laptop for sale.
WOW : and?
Q: I ask what interface? Would you personally answer?
IDE or SATA
And he answered "something easier".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125597
 17.03.2016
Just stumbled on this:
Oh my God, are you doing that?
I glue the bones of giant frogs and dig them deeper.
Why Why?
I want to see who people will believe more bones or stories about how I burn a bush.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna