bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №9917
 14.09.2008
As one of my acquaintances, from the DDR, a trainee teacher, a polyglot and a fan of Russian rock, and just a good person, says:

"Kak ja vas zaviduiu: Mozhete tselye sutki delat zakupki ili sidet v internet-kafe, dazhe v polunochi, mozhete skachat vsiakuiu muzykuiz interneta - bez shtrafa, pokupat
piratskie diski - bez shtrafa, chitat bezplatno vsiakie knigi v internete (naplevat na avtorskie prava), mozhete kurit gde khotite - bez shtrafa, mozhete ekhat zaitsem - bez shtrafa, mozhete rugat seksulanykh i natsionalnykh menshinstv - bez shtrafa... rugat nachalstvo (togda navernoe ne srazu uvoliaiut),.... mozhete otkryto skazat, chto vy - patrioty, nikto ne obviniaet v natsistskom myshlenii...

V Rossii mozhesh dazhe vslukh skazat: "U moiei babushki boloe veseloe detstvo" - nikto ne obviniaet v smiagchenii totalitarizma.
U vas mozhnesh vslukh skazat: Ne vse bylo plokho pri kommunistakh" - i (navernoe) nikto ne obviniaet tebia v smiagchenii totalitarizma...."


[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №9916
 14.09.2008
Coldman: Today on a pair on the information systems in the CC 1.6 killed the prede with a knife... twice.. he said the exam I will not pass it =(((

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №9915
 14.09.2008
<gisTy> ppc... I’m kidding off this vkontakte...
<gisTy> hangs video.. click - see... writes - type prohibited by privacy settings, can only watch friends... melt... next to a button - add to my videos...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №9914
 14.09.2008
<[sTpN]BaLIK> who plays in code4?
<Dark__man> [sTpN]
<[sTpN]BaLIK> Dark__man
<Dark__man> [sTpN]BaLIK: I’ll say more, I’m not just playing there... I’m there admin...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №9913
 14.09.2008
The Girl (18:31:44 9/09/2008)
Do you have business?

Mr.Green(18:32:01 9/09/2008)
norm of affairs. I don’t know what else to say.

The Girl (18:32:24 9/09/2008)
As always something smart))

Mr.Green (18:32:45 9/09/2008)
Would you give my breasts a touch? 😉

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №9912
 14.09.2008
Our economy is like a tiger in a cage: no matter how much you feed, it is hungry, let go.

He will go to a foreign coach.

Nick Blue

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №9911
 14.09.2008
I live in my apartment with a puffy catastrophe - an eight month old cat

His name was Vaska. It seems that one of her ancestors had sinned with the dog, because

The animal has dog habits. When fighting Vaska uses only teeth

(Imagine a cat that runs with its teeth in the foot and, standing on the

The legs try to tear away a piece of meat), the protection of the apartment for her is sacred,

The stranger will not remain untouched. But the most interesting thing is that I rarely

I saw that she didn’t pull anything in her teeth. of any object,

The person on the floor is immediately picked up and begins the journey.

Apartment to sit in one of the cats nights.

So here. I wake up in the morning. is bad. We had talks last night. How

When I got home, I remember badly. I have to go to work. Somehow he brought himself

Okay, but I can't find the car keys. Check all the places where

Drunk you can move the keys - from the toothbrush cabinet to the oven

There are no keys. The cats are empty too. As a mother, I run around the apartment.

I call a taxi. The cat is watching the circus, sitting around.

Toilet with filler. When a taxi arrived at my house,

I go up the stairs and, without shutting the door again, I remember that I forgot.

phone, I go back and see the picture: two light movements of the cat

He scratches the filler in the bowl, takes the keys in his teeth, turns out.

He sees me. I didn’t think a cat could look like this in his eyes.

and panic. If you put the keys carefully, it is in the back!!! Washed in the bedroom.

There was no force to argue, I left, but in the evening the cat scratched in full.

and morally. But the next morning I cried to tears when I was dressed.

I was going out. I looked at the cat, and she stumbled at the pot, convulsively.

she dug the whole filler, turned around - in her eyes read clearly:

Look, the master has hidden nothing.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №9910
 14.09.2008
What is the best thing to do in our farm?

It is best to drink vodka with water.

http://www.russianmontreal.ca/index.php?do=cat&category=kretinki

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №9909
 14.09.2008
I sit with a friend and watch a movie.
The xxx:
What an eight-bit music.
YYYY :
It is a piano.
xxxxxxxxxxx:
O_O

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №9908
 14.09.2008
I stood smoking by the window.
The window on the road.
[dante]: Some pedos on a motorcycle chases here on an empty road at 4 p.m.
[dante]: When he passed by me once at 6 o’clock, I thought "you were fucking fucking fucking"
He was fucking.
[dante]: happiness I sit thinking "the job I have in the refrigerator to eat appeared"
I’ll be here in 15 minutes...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №9907
 14.09.2008
The shit of the day just died:) went to the store in a push for the small needs of the body. I think about the meaning of being as suddenly in another cabin I hear a sound clearly corresponding to the needs of the air out of my ass, but at the same time I have a phone call where Valery Kippels reports a wild scream "I am free"... with a wild rust escaped from the blow:)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №9906
 14.09.2008
My friends drove in an electric car without a ticket the next day.
XXX is Hello! How did they arrive?! to
UUU: Well, indeed instead of 30 to 60 rubles paid))
I have a penalty! 😉
UUU: Well, a fine of 30 rubles, and we are stupid on the question "you ticket to write out?" said yes...)))

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №9905
 14.09.2008
The number of days in the ordinary year in the binary system 101 101 101 - mill, the creators of the calendar clearly said something wrong

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №9904
 14.09.2008
I argue with a girl.
You understand, we take, and you give, and if there is a lot of someone, we say that she is fucking.
No, for example, on a drunk, if the girl got drunk and went to bed, why stick to her, because she can give...

The curtain...

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №9903
 14.09.2008
And I like the poster at our zoo: "Hold a tree, grind a grass, talk to the rising sun."" So I want to add "Say no to drugs!"

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №9902
 14.09.2008
Dialogue between the teacher and the student at the lecture.
Q: Why don’t you write a lecture?
C: And I have a pencil self-writing... he writes himself.
Q: It is good that it is not a whistleblower!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №9901
 13.09.2008
Example of what a gay parade should be

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №9900
 13.09.2008
Reviews on the site for the sale of miniature wireless cameras, there are people:

1: I needed a micro-video camera because the butterflies are scared when you bring a VHS video camera to them and they have a male penis in the female. Now that I installed a micro video camera. The butterflies stopped being scared, they now even like it and they pose. thank you.

2: I was a... ride dealer, put a camera in the eye of the door, and when I was shot in the door, I would have suffered my gallow before, and now, fuck... ride 100 views for a new camera, I will be weakened. I recommend the FSSI to everyone.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №9899
 13.09.2008
and carried
I’ll see this quote on the tower: I’ll remove the VOV, get rid of it, sign up for a barbecue, stop drinking beer and bring my girlfriend to a expensive restaurant.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №9898
 13.09.2008
by Milord:
Or is. Four and a half years ago, my place was in the box office. So they sat.
And it was accepted that when an insurance agent came to take out the money collected from clients, he must come in and call his name loudly in the following form - "I am Ivanov!" or "I am Petrov!"
End of working day. Everyone is steamed, no one’s head is cooking anymore. The agents ended for two hours. And then a man comes in and loudly says, “Bravo, I AM DEAD!”and "
The senior cashier, after a minute pause, blamelessly dividing his hands - "And what can I help?".

by Milord:
My uncle’s name was Alexander.

by Loka-Alanie
The irony of fate :D

by Milord:
Oh well Hole. and )

by Loka-Alanie
Can you imagine how he was at school?

by Loka-Alanie
Someone walks in the hallway and asks: “Who of you died?”?" - "I..." - "Let’s go with us..."

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna