bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №124816
 26.02.2016
No matter what the Roskomnadzor pleased - only if the pornography lab did not touch.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №124815
 26.02.2016
Stretch and Huawei

Strecosa wanted a smartphone, so that he, and he
You could call, and the box would fall.

Look at the internet, there is no real thing.
But ordering, and in two weeks yours.

A lot of goods are eaten from mosquitoes.
Spine for the back, glue luster on the wall,

Clothes for hand from a pot with boiling water,
Tile against cockroaches, and a double glass.

Stretchosa bought himself an ointment from the shadow on his lips,
A bag of turkin leather, twenty-eight blade knife,

Erotic trousers, narcotic weights
Painting for stitches and cabbage to laurels.

And then I watched – oh! Dengue is nothing.
Without a smartphone. Huawei with him. and abydus.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124814
 26.02.2016
Well, you also imagine that you met in the club with a beautiful man, he was nine meters tall, awakened together, and he was thirty centimeters lower. Would you like?

If he has a nice size and good technique, it will go well.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №124813
 26.02.2016
As an actor of theatre. We don’t care how you dress. Thank you for coming and watching with gratitude.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №124812
 26.02.2016
In childhood there was a lemonade "clock", in adulthood the same "clock" - Bell whiskey "s whiskey ".

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №124811
 26.02.2016
On the subject of what goat men will tell you one real story:
There is a girl, her name is, let’s say, Dasha. She has a boyfriend, let him be a pasha. Pasha regularly deceives Dasha, insults, sometimes loosens her hands. Dashe was tired of this, she broke up with Pasha and began to scream about what all the men are goats. But Dasha noticed, let it be, Cole. He persuaded Dasha with all his strength that not all men were the same, beautifully cared for flowers, restaurants, gifts, said about sex, you will tell when you are ready. As long as you don’t want to, I won’t even hint". Friends of Dasha from Cole are delighted, parents too, Dasha herself says "how lucky I am with you, with you well, calm". And then Dasha begins to endure Cole's brain "you didn't call, you didn't write" and so on. That Kolya is at work, holds a meeting with subordinates, Dasha does not care. And then in the morning, Cole receives a text message that Dasha drops him and returns to Pasha. It is boring for her. No humiliation, no insults, no betrayal.
The question is, who is the goat in this situation? And why did the girl leave the one with whom she is well and calm?
Z is. Kolya is now living with a beautiful girl, planning a wedding, and Dasha has repeatedly tried to return to him, but was sent far and long.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №124810
 26.02.2016
to theatre

Choosing a super-mega dress and making the evening makeup before going to the theater will be exactly the person who goes to theaters once every six months, or even less often, and exclusively on weekends, so that then to others to show what he is all in a white coat beautiful intellectual.
And if you go to theaters on weekdays after work and more often than once a month, every time you do not get rid of it, there is not always a banal opportunity. It all depends on the relationship. To whom the theater is the pants, to whom the show is to be seen.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №124809
 26.02.2016
Annotation for the book: "Terror has reached America. A terrible train rushes around the country, destroying and destroying everything on its way. He doesn’t need rails, he doesn’t need fuel or electricity – for he is the source of punitive rage, the incarnation of pure evil. In his wagons sit the dead, returned to the world of the living by the force of a terrible curse.

Paphnothy: The Pendos have stunned the dispatch service, broke up a mess on the lines, and then compose terrible poems.

Anonymous: Hm, directly electric on the route Kharkiv-Izyum in winter, judging by the description.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №124808
 26.02.2016
Discussion of the issue
And let us be as a swallow, a cancer, and a squid, but we have a purpose, and it is like a carrot, and it is like a straw.
Carrot swallow, cancer and squid turn into a single mechanism that goes in the same direction.
2: Oh, and on the Hua-Hua Swan, Cancer and Shuka, is this carrots? Do I know something about them?
In fact, these donkeys go after the carrots tied in front of their nose.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124807
 26.02.2016
The Odessa colour.

In trolleybuses, there is often no conductor (apparently there is no money for their salary) - it is awfully uncomfortable, everyone has to go through the front, pay the driver.

But then you have to open all the doors in order to launch people - here "country" and jump through them.

Tired of this, the driver declares to the whole salon:
So, dear passengers, we go out through the front door – we get our conscience out of our pockets!

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124806
 26.02.2016
This is:

A full car:

Their mother! What is E@Uzz?! to
and licking! How how? Have fun with the bones!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
A good attempt, but not in time.
Winter is over and your bone is still wide.

################

How much more pleasant than inadequate weightlifting people are quiet, benevolent people of any composition. You would eat anything, at least something, but like a hungry dog on other people's bones you throw.

– Sophia Lvivna, is your niece Hayek so thin?
– Rose Moiseevna, and where did you see, the shaft on the thorns of the fat grew?! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №124805
 26.02.2016
On sale in the store "The price is reduced! It is cheaper for free!! Someone put a paper with the inscription: "Thank you, this is not for nothing"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №124804
 26.02.2016
Vanilla is not always romantic. Romance is not always vanilla. If I were given two Seagov usb-joysticks, a box of bottle beer, a bag of snacks and told that this weekend we both go to cooperative old Seagov games for beer, disconnecting phones and the internet... well, I would be out of romance.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №124803
 25.02.2016
Parks and squares of Moscow. We found a site with a complete list of parks.

There is a Moscow Zoo. Is it a park too?
Yyyy Agha, and the aquapark too.
Zzz And also the trolleybus park No. 2 do not forget!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №124802
 25.02.2016
The news:
At the Department of Police No. 3 in the Kirovsky district, a 25-year-old Uffimets appealed to the office with a statement about the disappearance of his beloved dwarf.
The comments:
1. what if he was wiped out or taken in order to harm someone?
Do you use a heater?))

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №124801
 25.02.2016
Last year Easter fell on the Day of Cosmonautics and on this occasion the atheist-Orthodox holiwar erupted.
This year, we are on the road, comrades. Easter falls on the Feast of Spring and Labor.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124800
 25.02.2016
Do you need a parrot?
What kind of breed? The wave?
A small loud. It behaves like $&b.
well suited for the position of middle-level manager in RU (regional management)
or the headquarters apartment. I scream a lot, a lot, so little!

[ + 29 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124799
 25.02.2016
Reality is more funny than fiction. The X5 retail group, which is owned by Peterochki, Perekrösky and Karuseli, is registered in the Netherlands, a NATO member. Add to this picture patriotic rhetoric, struggle with foreign influence – and the joke is ready.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №124798
 25.02.2016
From OpenNet:
These poor bicycle lovers just never tried to ride the morning park in a jeep!

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124797
 25.02.2016
I like to talk to Chinese people on AliExpress.
I bought my younger brother a robot designer on a solar battery. I write to the seller in the comments to the order, whether he does not have another battery, or if his brother lost it. Answer: "Take a picture of the detail you want, we’ll see if we have one". Take a picture, Bro, the lost detail!

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