bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122814
 09.01.2016
I leave the apartment. I live on the second floor. Half the floor is washed, and half (from my side) is not. I go down and see the cleaner. I wonder why it wasn’t cleaned?

You are so dirty there!!! to

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №122813
 09.01.2016
XHH: I will take the words used in the translated sense in the caveats. I will separate the sarcasm from the direct text. I will make the table easier, and people will draw to me!

Who am I trying to fool here? I will forget it again and continue to look inappropriate :(

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №122812
 09.01.2016
At the bus stop, my mother and her 4-year-old daughter.
Mom, don’t go to work today. I will not go to the garden. We both had fun.
I can’t, I’ve gotten rid of everything.
The child spreads his hands with sincere generosity:
Take the mine!
- Ah, I will now call Egor Stepanovich and tell him that I have signed up at the stop and to work.
I will not be here today because it was the last clean socks.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122811
 09.01.2016
Dialogue between the boy P and the girl D:
Q: What are you doing?
D: Making a manicure
Q: Beautiful or ordinary?
D: The Pink

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122810
 09.01.2016
I hate Mondays.
Today is Thursday.
My hatred does not cease.

[ + 38 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122809
 09.01.2016
But tell me, if a girl has a flower, an American with Chinese flags, a knife, a triangle, an orange and a umbrella on the coat, what is it for?

YYYY :
Flower
United States
China is
Knife

Yield
Orange is
The Umbrella

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122808
 09.01.2016
The price of Oculus Rift:

Rate of payment: 43,000 rupees (
Yyy: Well you don’t get upset, it’s for now...) Then they can go down to 60 or even 50 thousand.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122807
 09.01.2016
I: If you send me a copy of your logo, I can start working today.

Client: Yes of course. It is on my USB flash.

I: In what format. I prefer to use the EPS format.

I say usb!

Here I notice on the flash a centimeter sticker with the company logo of the customer...

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122806
 09.01.2016
Cossacks are tried in the Netherlands, and in Colombia more serious products for "happiness".

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №122805
 09.01.2016
Signature on the website of the online broadcast in Primorsky Safari Park:

If there is nothing interesting happening in the online broadcast of Amur and Timur, then we offer to watch a selection of violent videos of how a tiger ate a goat.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122804
 09.01.2016
The favorite customers.
The feeling that they are sleeping there all the time, and waking up some time a month, and such - baaner, baaner, we need baaner... - and fall asleep again.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №122803
 09.01.2016
The blogger broke the tube.

XXX exploded the stall. What to do in such situations?
Yyy: The first thing you need to put the mustard in warm water. Then take a wide reinforced scotch and cut round holes with manicure scissors through every eight to ten centimeters. Okay, if there is a bottle of wine, but you can cut it from the tree yourself. Turn a waffle towel into the food film (prove that the towel is completely closed). You drill the holes in the bottom of the banks from under the olive oil and squeeze the poron inside and seal with mounting foam (can silicone). Copper wire (8.0) should be splashed with a hammer, but not too thin, otherwise it will break.

XXX: What is next?
YYY: It is not important. The main thing is to distract your thoughts from the broken stand.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №122802
 09.01.2016
Now the problem is not that we use the shit of Chinese production, but that we do not produce it ourselves.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №122801
 09.01.2016
My husband has a peculiarity - he began to sit very early, by the age of thirty he sat almost completely.
I, fucking, had to explain to the joke that it was not my fault, he was already.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №122800
 09.01.2016
Without buying for the Russian people on the beauty, nature did not save on the fools.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122799
 09.01.2016
I am an exemplary housewife. I sit at home, slowly. The attack. Under the Rammstein.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122798
 09.01.2016
X: I am going to buy a new car
(Nearly the whole forum): what color/which brand/bu?
X: drying
See also: DOBOEB

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122797
 09.01.2016
xxx: a "aligarh" who is this? An old crocodile?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №122796
 09.01.2016
xxx> Do you know why we already have solo albums and you have 19 subscribers?
yyy> Teacher straight )) Yes, you don’t even have a knocker )))))
xxx> you know that.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №122795
 09.01.2016
> It is fearful to use the stolen in the place of the stolen.

Therefore, the technology of "jamming " is more progressive. You can spell out almost everything the same as spell out (and what you can't spell out, spell out can get yourself more expensive up to a bloody vendetta), and the spelled artifacts can be used everywhere, because in the presence of the past owner they raise him a hassle and make him feel a great benefactor, not a victim of a professional canyon).

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna