bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №71613
 16.10.2012
X: What is the joke, about this Austrian jump, well he jumped, well he overcame the speed of the sound, what is the joke?? to
U: No, when it lands, first there will be a slice, and then only BLUE!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №71612
 16.10.2012
When asked why he didn’t want to get married immediately, but to live six months together, he replied: I can’t send the product to the store without testing it.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №71611
 16.10.2012
111: Formulated by work: "I am not a bad man, but I am a lawyer"

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71610
 16.10.2012
Another drop of mail.
I live in Canada, my husband ordered me a piece of Venetian glass as a gift (I don’t need it, but it doesn’t matter). The package went a long time - almost a month. Why is? The package collapsed, the thing broke. so they ordered exactly the same, priorly informing the recipient in writing. That is why it took a long time.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №71609
 16.10.2012
I once had a colleague, a Turgenev girl. When the programmers started mating, she wrote angry letters to the general office mail.

At the same time, the lady in her youth studied at the courses of car trailers, and took the practice at the honourable STO, in the remzone.

To my question, "What do you say when the 15th wheel falls on your foot from the elevator," she sincerely replied, "Oh, what a disaster."

[ + 11 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71608
 16.10.2012
If instead of Felix Baumgartner, Kerzhakov jumped, he would fly past Earth.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №71607
 16.10.2012
The Good Morning!
How did you get home normal yesterday?
The journey alone was not long, how did you get there? Did not sleep?
Okay, as always after the date.
I sat in the cafe, you just drank, then took you home, came home, boycotted and went to bed. As it is sung in the legendary song of Semena Slepokova – I am still “Not Like Everyone”

[ + 35 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71606
 16.10.2012
Women are cute and incomprehensible creatures. My wife was sitting behind the compot at midnight while I was sleeping, she came down to me under the blanket and said, “I want honey, oatmeal and tea!”
I pretend to be asleep, and in a couple of minutes she says so dreamingly, "I know if you had not slept, you would have gone and prepared it for me, and then brought it to bed.
While I’m eating, I’d be grabbing my head and saying that you love me very much, that you’re ready to do anything I ask only to make me happy.
And then I would kiss and start telling you that you will never leave me and will take care of me all your life, wanting the best for me.
And I would believe you, because you really love me very much!" She silenced for a few minutes, and then with tears in her eyes began to kiss me:
Andrus, I love you so much, I love you so much! You are my best!" In the morning she even brought me breakfast to bed from happiness.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №71605
 16.10.2012
When the daughter was small, she loved Chukovsky's book - two fairy tales - jumped "Mocha-Cocotuh", and then "Tarakanište"

As a result, she learned both stories, but confused the order. It got interesting.

Come, cockroaches, I’ll drink you tea
I don’t drink, I don’t forgive.


[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №71604
 16.10.2012
The boys should take the first step.
by David?! to
David: I’ve already cut a couple of miles, haven’t I?

[ + 12 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71603
 16.10.2012
I thought here. I will break up with you. I am tired of missing you.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №71602
 16.10.2012
xxx) How are you doing? You don’t know where to go so you don’t see me? :)
YYY: On the heri go...I’m definitely not there.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №71601
 16.10.2012
People after sex dress and go home or work. It smells of transportation.
If not a secret, what size are you going to be?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №71600
 16.10.2012
and hello! I need quick advice on how to get a man out of a stupor after a shock?
And what happened?
Nothing special, but long to tell.
Well in brief!
- Generally speaking, I played 15 minutes ago with the precious at Starcraft, I'm a spark, he's a touss. Damn, my longest game is 1.5 hours! Fight for every centimeter, we won... We’re going to sleep, and I say you go, and I’ll just make a mask on my face, it’s 10 minutes. Usually he does not moisture in my female affairs, but is eager to wait for the period))) In short, I have a mask of the type of film - you spray the gel on the face, it dries out, and you remove it like a stretching film...
Picture, shit, oil: I stand in front of the mirror, I begin to slowly pull the film off with wide sheets. And something thought about the game... Here the edge of the eye I notice - standing in the door, the jaw hanged, in the hand the towel compresses 8-O And I, fucking, no, to explain what it is, I say "what, never seen how the mirrors before bed change the skin?"
He has been lying in bed for 10 minutes with his square eyes and doesn’t let me turn off the lights.
You are a beast...
The mirror ;)
Fuck it...

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №71599
 16.10.2012
The stiffness is like this:
... last year (when this... like his... unspoken Eiffel... in short, this Kudl erupted), our employee flew through London to a conference in, it seems, Rio, and in London it turned out that all flights were delayed for at least a couple of days. So there was no point in flying further – he didn’t have time for this conference. Decided to return, changed the return ticket in the VA, before the departure was three o'clock, and he wanted to smoke - in Heathrow with smokers and so bad, and there was still some repair, there was one gas chamber, and he decided to smoke on the street. He had multiple visas, so he went through immigration. They ask, “How long will we be with you?” Purpose of the visit?

He is like this: I go out, I smoke, and immediately back to Moscow.

This is cool.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №71598
 16.10.2012
I mean, I go on a bike.
Matthew: In front of me is a pearl, and behind is a girl sitting, pushing her hand out of the window and enjoying the wind.
I thought I should say hello to her. He likened the opel, grabbed the girl's hand, went on.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №71597
 16.10.2012
It seems that the golden autumn is not worse than the spring.
I go from work and see a single office chair on wheels in a small golden square on the trail.
Where are you now, the escaped office rebel?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №71596
 16.10.2012
People can live long and happy, but how to make them...

by Dmitry Lavrenkov

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №71595
 16.10.2012
In Ukraine elections are on the nose.
Agitation, surveys, submissions...
A phone call, according to one of the services conducting the survey.
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah
- For an honest, decent, undisputed candidate who will fight against corruption and will not steal money! A pause of five seconds.
Of course, against everyone...

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №71594
 16.10.2012
The perfect morning: Woke up, stretched, smiled, turned around and fell asleep.

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