bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №133919
 23.09.2016
Knowledge of rabbits and rabbits:
This feeling that for me as a child the main in the television program were not all kinds of toms and jerry da sellor moons... from childhood I know that... the eggs are predators, and the caracourt is not a black widow... the eggs do not attack from the top of the trees, but do a rush, like the gepards.
What else can I do?"

Horses belong to insecticides, they eat everything that could not escape from them, but mostly insects and falls. Caracourt is a spider of the "Black Widows" family. Risi attack both from the assembly, and stealing, but not like a gepard, in a prolonged high-speed chase. You will get rid of the taiga to wear, at a speed below 60 km / h.
Take something else to enjoy, for example.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133918
 23.09.2016
here here :

Strange, NASA just announced now, in general, the Air Force broadcast about the shift of horoscopes was released 5-8 years ago. The Serpent was known for a long time.

The PFF. And in Russia, this was written about 30 years ago, in the second half of the 80s after the beginning of the restructuring, when a stream of various science-formed figured into the newspapers. And then one day, everyone was indifferent to this labyrinth. And you were so excited by this bearded news, as if it was you until now in the newspapers only the transcripts of the congresses with the plenaries of the CPSU and the news from the fields were printed. He smashed the people.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133917
 23.09.2016
In those cases, when a shark sails down to you to bite, you should move between yourself and a predator any solid object.

A semi-naked swimmer has only one potentially solid object with him.

At that point, there will be no erection.


[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133916
 23.09.2016
Until the last moment I was sure that in the story of the household story about my husband... until I read to "give me to sit on my knees. and tears. and sit"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133915
 23.09.2016
As a child, I dreamed very much that I would be kidnapped by aliens and taken to my planet. I am 27 years old and there are no aliens. What are you doing, butterflies?

As a child, I was very afraid that I would be abducted by aliens, and when they realized that I was not a remarkable little girl, they would return me to Earth, but not home, but where I got, for example, on the top of a high mountain. How am I crying from there? This thought led me to alpinism.

<ovtza> what if they land you in the middle of the ocean?
<ry> I’ve grown up big and I can negotiate

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133914
 23.09.2016
There are other wonderful names: Nicodemus, Dog and Sissa.
I don’t envy those kids ?

I know people with the names Demyan and Demid. They live peacefully.
I know one Anton. His "wrong" name is very difficult to live. He came out of his teenage age, at twenty already. And all suffers from the "dabilism of the surrounding".
The rest of the Antones are living normally.
Not in the name of the case.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №133913
 23.09.2016
Abortion is not a matter of concern for the health and safety of women. It is based on psychology, the traditional concept of the sinfulness of abortion, the "destination of a woman" and so on.

An unexpected pregnant woman often experiences severe stress. Father "life" insists on abortion. The arguments are extremely convincing, pressure on the psyche very strongly. Often this is done by relatives, friends and doctors of women's counseling.
On the other hand, proliferators of varying degrees of adequacy. From gentle warnings to wicked crying, Allah will punish you, desires death and burning in Hell.
Making the right choice in this situation is not easy. The woman will be to blame for any outcome. Strong for the rest of my life.
Add to this the persistent aversion of many men to condoms and the side negative from other contraceptives – and sex for a woman becomes a much bigger headache than for a man.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133912
 23.09.2016
> in gafflia can not drown, it is a hard-floating metal

So maybe, like in the old days, we will try to drown uranium debris in mercury? and :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133911
 23.09.2016
How to find out if you are in love,
If you’re 30+ and you’re no longer emotional?
1st All songs on the radio are romantic.
2nd There is nothing interesting on the internet :-(

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №133910
 23.09.2016
to this:
...the milky-eyed cuts a huge toothpaste...
Per, I will break the pattern for you: these cuddly cute mushrooms/apples on the back also don’t pull.
######
The apples are on the back. (I found out recently, myself in shock)
Actually, they don’t drive them anywhere and don’t eat them. Yogi squeezes an apple on the back (I don't know how) so that the needles pierce the peel, flow the juice and disperse the parasites.
The Basque

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №133909
 23.09.2016
About the cats:
And my black man once frightened his neighbors. He walked through the loggia to them under the window (the common loggia) and knocked on the glass with his leg. I don't know what they were under, but they decided that the devil came after them and started screaming with nonsense. Then one of them took the door out of the cock and all escaped.)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №133908
 23.09.2016
Colleagues, maybe anyone knows: how does the project of Mikhalkov-Konchalovsky Eat Home live there? Half Yard was given to them, and what next?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133907
 23.09.2016
Who was going to measure cats? Cheshire is 8 kg.
Of the last feats: frightened the brigade of builders who did home repairs. Suddenly, he got out of the kitchen table, broke up twice and began to whisper, show clutches and bend to the floor in every way. The builders, bormocha "Shaitan, Satan", retreated.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133906
 23.09.2016
Now the phrase - "I am married" means only that the husband does not know.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №133905
 23.09.2016
That was literally an hour ago.
Classes on programming, the second course of a technical university, a steep university should be said. The first lab, the simplest, is the task of mastering the syntax of the language: the coordinates of the angles of the triangle are given, the task of calculating the area. The young man proudly demonstrates the result, his program calculated the area and brought on the screen a minus fifteen. Together we watch, I wait for the student to react, and he smiles, joyfully, like a two-year-old who has finally gathered the pyramid from rings. I wonder if the result is embarrassing. The student replies that everything is fine, it works. I would like to point out that the number is negative. The student is surprised and asks, “What is this?“”
In general, I have four-fifth groups of such, and they are not deducted or deducted, they are contractors, they bring money. Yes, and if they don’t have the money, they’ll get the diplomas :-(

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №133904
 23.09.2016
Stas Mikhailov’s concert in Murmansk cancelled due to the absence of spectators.
Murmansk has been named the Cultural Capital of Russia.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №133903
 23.09.2016
There are 7 billion 295 million 889 thousand people on earth, and civilization does not care that someone will not have children after abortion or someone will die after abortion.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133902
 23.09.2016
Haca said they joked.

How did they joke? I just filed for divorce, right?

Oh, and Angelina

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №133901
 23.09.2016
From Bormor

A mouse was caught in the factory. They showed everyone.
The women, of course, immediately with a suitable occasion whispered to the sides and began to recite: "fu, ugliness, ugliness, go away!"
I came and looked.
“Yes,” I say, “it is not a mouse, but a earthworm. She is not a rodent at all, but an insect-eating, that is, think, a relative of the eggs.
The beast did not look different. But all the women gathered around and whispered, “Oh, what a slump, mimimi, let’s see!”
You say in the name...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133900
 23.09.2016
A new recipe for peanut soup has blown up the internet.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna