When I was a child, when there was a phrase in the book like: “On the table was a tea machine...”, I imagined a wooden box with flashing bulbs, arrow indicators and wires, like a physiotherapy apparatus, and tried to understand how it relates to tea and what it is intended for.

One day in school, a natural science teacher asked: "Who were the parents of the sheep?I replied, “The perverse.”

Somehow it happened that most of my friends were born in the Soviet Union, but gradually moved around the globe. Take Anush for example. She was born and graduated from school in Yerevan, entered Leningrad University and became Anai. After graduation, she married an Englishman and moved to his homeland. Now her name is Anne. Anne lives in a tiny town in Gloucester County, right next to the famous Royal Dean Forest. She has a good apartment, enough money not for a luxurious, but absolutely decent life, her son has already graduated from college and lives separately. It would seem like you could rest a little and relax. Peace is only dreaming. A few years ago, her mother died in Yerevan, and Anne took her father to her home. He was under 90 and could not stay alone. In a distant England, a father, of course, feels like a fish pulled out of the water. But suffering is stoic and tries not to complain. He reads Armenian news on the Internet, looks at Russian channels on television. Even in a bad mood, not Anne, but the Turks and Azerbaijanis are outraged. It goes badly, but enjoys going out in nature. After stony Armenia, green England seems to him a paradise.

On that day, Anne routinely took her father to the forest to breathe the air, put him on a bench, and went to pick up things from the cleaner. He arrives in half an hour, but his father is not there. I walked into the woods and cried out, my father is not there. What to do? Called the police. The police said, “Don’t worry, we’ll come.
They arrived. They walked through the woods, shouting, “Father is not there.”
“Well,” they say, “we’ll call the kinologist now, and you’ll go home and bring some of his shoes so that the dog can take the trace.
When Anne returned, the filmologist was already there. It turned out to be a young cute lady that you can see at http://abrp722.livejournal.com in my Live Journal. While the dog was studying the shoe, one of the policemen ringed the phone. At the end of the conversation, he hurried to please Anne:
“I found you,” said your father. A lady brought him to a local nursing home. She saw the lonely old man, decided that he was lost and brought him. They see that he is a stranger. So they called the police.

Anne went to the elderly house. My father sat in the dining room and drinking English tea with milk. Anne was so glad to see him unharmed that she even cried. Then I began to read:
How did you get into the car with an unfamiliar woman? You saw that it wasn’t me! Your vision is good. How were you going to communicate with her? You can’t even say the address in English! Dad, what did you think of?? to
The father glanced at Anne and said in Armenian:
“Anush, child, what can a man think of when a woman calls him into his car? I was hoping for an adventure.

Who is it? I asked Larissa.
Seriously? Do you know Stasi Mikhailov? Surprised by Sergey.
And I don’t want to know, please turn off this ugliness, or switch to Match TV.
Soon after, Sergey made an offer to Larisa. And Stasa Mikhailova, in secret from her husband, went to listen to her mother.

My favorite color is green.
and my violet.
Our future child will have to wear green-violet clothes.
Darling: the world’s first child-supercriminal

here here :

I wanted to do as in my childhood. As my mother cooked. This taste cannot be passed on. The taste of happiness. I broke a lot of recipes. All are different! I needed it as my mom cooked it. But I can’t call her anymore...and the recipe for my happiness is lost forever.
I made a couple of plates for trial, according to different recipes. Not that... all. There is no mother. There is no happiness.

You know, this is the case, the reason is not in the recipe. I have a mother alive, old already, but memory, God give to everyone. And I know for a long time - what my mother is cooking is not exactly repeatable. I take a recipe from her, I consult on the course, I try - delicious, but not that, a half-blind mother will get up to the plate - and here it is, the taste of childhood, the taste of happiness. How! → I don’t understand, a miracle.

tn: I’ll get rich and open a bag store. I will call him "Sumkin’s son".

I read to the child Uspensky "Cheburashka and the crocodile of Genoa", there is such a moment:
We will build there.
And from what?
Of course from bricks.
Where to get them?
I do not know.
“I don’t know,” said Galia.
“I don’t know either,” Cheburashka said.
– Listen, – suddenly suggested Galia, – let’s call the reference office!
...
And then the child asks, "What is the "Reference Bureau"?
An outspoken clin of the brain, then the answer is difficult to formulate:
This is an old Google.

Shattered work
Once from the accounting office was fired a girl who was responsible for the warehouse accounting. The duty included printing monthly reports, many reports. During the work, the girl did not bother herself and printed only what the boss asked. For the transfer of cases, she strained, printed the missing sheets of 700 reports, squeezed them, glued the covers on all the rules of business and removed them. And then it turned out that she allowed all the reports to be printed almost simultaneously, the paint in the printer ended, and of the 700 sheets read was half, the rest stripes and almost clean sheets.
Yes, she was called after her dismissal and asked what she was for. What they heard: I handed things over, it was better to take.

xxx has problems with self-correcting on the phone.
XXX: Do I give the cats?
XXX: They were very delicious.
xxx: auto correction wanted to fix "custody" on "castrate"
XXX: But I am Michael Vigilance
XXX: Retained
xxx for you

By profession I am an architect. Often when designing cottages there is a talk about insulation of facades. All the employers are trying to convince me that insulation should be done from the inside of the premises. I prove, according to what I was taught, that on the outside, using a bunch of professional terms such as the depth of freezing, the point of rose, the bridge of cold, etc... After several attempts, I prove my right, but not with little blood and force of conviction.
Recently my cousin Vitalik approached me for advice on the same issue. I came with my wife. They were sitting and listening for a long time, Vitalik couldn’t grumble, and then his wife couldn’t stand it (see, a clever woman, even observed) and gave the following answer:
When it’s cold, do you swallow your jacket or wear it on top?

She - Yes, you're just afraid to change something in your swamp life) don't worry, everything will be fine)
He - for one of these phrases, I will be a dollar millionaire and I will come to the lexus to pump those pockets!!! to
She - Chocolate electric bring)
It is OK HD.

Why are motorcycles on electric trains? They, according to the idea, the offenders have to catch up and fuck, they are more or less able to do so on BMW motorcycles. And then they are transplanted into a hybrid moped with a screwdriver, they would immediately give the selfie then what.

yyy: this hipsters on gyroscooters inside the boulevard ring to catch

I knew a qua from India whose name was Kumar Fire.
XXX was cool.
The fire was probably

The City:

In which village almost every apartment still has a steel bath?

Yes, in general, most people around you have a steel bathtub, which when repaired simply changes to the same new one, because unlike the shower cabins and the jacuzzi, it is completely suitable for people. And a village in Moscow is called, once you wondered.

starpony posted 18 hours ago
Do you know what they do in prison? Doll in the ass!

Capt.JackSparrow posted 16 hours ago
I just read your nick right for the fifth time. That would be very symbolic.

The circumstances of the death of a 16-year-old schoolgirl from St. Petersburg were established, law enforcement officials arrived at the scene and found the body of the girl, about 23-25 years old.
Driving a long time

I am almost 30 years old. There are no wives. There are no children. I will not say that the fate is easy, but at three stations he lived for a week and a month under the Tolbukhin Bridge in Yaroslavl. It looks like it went well. And until the end of the mortgage apartment in the capital there are only a few months...And only now I realized the worst. I love one salad. I love it crazy. I can eat a lot at a time. I never cooked it myself. And yesterday decided not to buy such a thing, but to do it yourself.Since the store is made in a hurry and without a soul.
I cooked everything. Every portion of vegetables is frozen into different plates so that it is more convenient to disassemble. and intentionally.
I wanted to do as in my childhood. As my mother cooked. This taste cannot be passed on. The taste of happiness. I broke a lot of recipes. All are different! I needed it as my mom cooked it. But I can’t call her anymore...and the recipe for my happiness is lost forever.
I made a couple of plates for trial, according to different recipes. Not that... all. There is no mother. There is no happiness.

Game of Thrones:

Who has an explanation for why the army of the dead has been woven for so long?

YYY: The King of the Night just doesn’t need it all, he likes to sit on a horse and look at the army of the dead from somewhere above.

zzz: The King of the Night is like Moses, he loves to drive the crowd here and there, in 40 years, we will go out to the Promised Land.

here

You need to transfer 1 ruble to a friend's card to check if the card has already been unlocked. I think about the comment. Help choose: "To buy a jewel", "To be a stripper" or "Thank you for a nice night!"

Working in the bank did the translation, so the comment from the client was as follows: Optional translation to the prostitute, blackjack and cherry pudding. VAT is not taxed.

Translation was successful.