Coccinella: My faithful man has not given me a single flower in his whole life. Who you have flowers for, I wonder. They are bound. I’d rather bring you green apples. And cheese with mold.” A practical man. That is why I married him. How not to go out? They feed immediately. :D

I ordered a package for ear correctors (from hearing loss). He put them on the backdrop of Van Gogh's sunflower. The receiving manager did not know about Van Gogh's work, or does he not know that the latter had just no relationship with his ears. The box went to Moscow for approval. I look forward to the reception now to see if there is even one educated person there...

In Russia, a family is considered wealthy if the wife does not kick the hole socks of her husband.

Why on most Russian forums, almost on any question, they begin to explain what kind of idiot you are.

Manufacturers of flashes. Make a flash in the shape of a teaspoon, similar to a metal! Tired of!

To stop the theft of one and a half million of our officials, 750 thousand Krasnogorsk gunmen are needed. @Konaarm

I work as a guard in the factory. In the morning comes the man, long digging through all the pockets of clothes and bags (apparently the pass is looking). He hangs for 10 seconds and says:
I got fired yesterday!
is leaving.

Entry exam in mathematics. Teachers invite the first student:
How much is two plus two?
and three! No is! and five! No is! and six!
It is wrong! Yes... foolish, but looking... we take!
The second student arrives:
How much is two plus two?
and three! No is! and three! No is! and three!
It is wrong! Yes... stupid but shy... take it!
The third student:
How much is two plus two?
Four of course!
Yes... smart. There are no more places!

The Roman:
The unit in which I previously worked was renamed ASUP and System Integration.
Blow up, blow up!! to

On the emblem of the Bank of Tinkov is drawn a deer (client) and on top a man with a sword (collector). You won’t pay draconian interest, they’ll give you up – it’s like a hint.

With dou.ua, the topics question "Is there musical instruments in the IT offices", comment:

“I imagined a drumming installation on a stand in the middle of the open space, where managers occasionally break away, and at the rest of the time a special person sets the rhythm of coding, like squirts on galleries.
The day before the release to the drummer joins crazy guitarist on stretches from the latest Mad Max, and coders and QA start to piss on their teeth with some silver.

Examination for candidate minimum. The philosophy.
Prepod: I will ask you to give examples and ask you questions. Which ones? Heraclitus said that one cannot enter the same river twice. What did Parmenides answer? (Long pauses, everyone is thinking tightly)
Prepod: Well, given that he hadn’t answered anything about it...

Have you tried to write viruses? A purely practical question
YYY: Suppose I tried, and I don’t want to do it anymore. The answer is purely theoretical.

I play with my favorite in the intellectual game, while the fight of the mind, and she is always losing. I was upset, upset, and the dialogue continued:
I will never play anything with you again.
Even a housekeeper and a housekeeper?
Even in this!
Why is?
I will lose anyway.

I like to work on Saturdays. Come and work for yourself. And there are no children, grandchildren, other relatives, cats, dogs, weather, magnetic storms and so on. Quiet and good.

Icon of copywriters Nikita Mikhalkov tried to patent the phrase "Winged Rockets". (It is in this writing, with the first letters, with the meaning and / or in the context of "26 Caspian missiles on terrorists." For example: “It was the Winged Rockets that changed the existing world order.”) is
And for the use of these words to charge your usual tax.

Shoigu firmly promised to introduce the coordinates of Nikita's country house 1% into the memory of the 27th, super-plan, cruise missile.

Society-antiutopia, where sex on bills and transparent walls - E. Zamyatin "We".

> generally very good that the social sphere is headed by the deputy prime minister with the name of the Hunger. This is the gravure of Dürer’s “Four Riders.”

I leave late in the evening with my colleagues. Colleagues in all black, until they merge in the darkness with the wall. I am bright in everything. He joked:
Are you dressed in black so as not to attract the attention of the outsiders?
Are you dressed so brightly that the hipsters in the center will not adore you?

XX: Yes, I am a soulless, weak creature. I read the documentation.
Yyy: Fououououu...