bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120852
 21.11.2015
Another freelancer sent me a screenshot of the work done in Word'e. I decided to share this event with my wife.
I go into the room where she is, with the words “People are strange creatures” and I see my wife sitting on the floor and smelling the corner of the palace.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №120851
 21.11.2015
Here you sit at home in the evening next to a cozy table lamp and read a new book in the fantasy genre. And everything is fine - the plot is interesting, the author's slogan is non-obsessive - beauty. And here you will get the geographical name of this world, such as "Westeros", and then the name of the character "Faramir", and then the spell "Vingardium leviosa". And you sit, scratching the tail — and where is the emphasis, how to read it correctly?"
I want a book where it all goes!
yyy: imagined Potter with the Ring sitting on the Iron Throne))
Oh, and this is "winter from the campsite!" :D

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120850
 21.11.2015
yyy - Hm, and if you pour water into the opened bulb of the bulb, freeze it, then break the glass and remove all the fragments, the experiment will be quite safe.

This is the "conference"!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120849
 21.11.2015
Nicole White: I once had a quarrel with my mom and she told me that I was so lazy that even during her pregnancy I didn't move, drowned a couple of times and then before the fighting. Cats, that was offensive!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №120848
 21.11.2015
Listen, if you are bad, then you are bad, and not everything.

At first I did not understand, I thought - I am so bad, I cannot do everything normally, provide everything. And then I looked at the sides - and it is in chocolate, many and half do not have it. He took everything away, became loving and kind. Now I keep it strict, and she is just happy to go. The slave mentality - as long as the master is good - he is bad and I do what I want, and when the master is evil - any gift is a great honor! Only if I do not need it, I sought a companion of life and a companion to share all the joys and misfortunes of this life in two, and I got the slave Isaur - feed and fuck, and fuck life yourself as you want.

My husband and I have a budget. So common that I also invest in his car (I don't drive, but I am driven), in repairs in his apartment (because it is inherited and I have no rights to it) and other things. And I also fight for his rights before his family, my family and others in turn on the "dovezy is not difficult" and "give in debt here straight tomorrow I will give". He chooses the technique, I choose the excursions and everyone is happy. And you’re just looking for a fairy without brains and opinions, and then complaining that she doesn’t have her own opinion and a slave mentality.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №120847
 21.11.2015
I have the most real bordel of virtual machines. Because I have four of them, named by female names to quickly distinguish, and I fucking with them.

A bordel is when someone else is fucking with you. If only you, then you have a harem.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120846
 20.11.2015
Auto Forum, Topic "Have you changed clothes?"

xxx on the summer didn't go out on the weekend +10 wakes up

I am being awakened by an alarm.

This is because you are old - young people in the morning - plus 10 cm, and it wakes them up.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №120845
 20.11.2015
It is a nightmare! Children all the time with their phones, computer or tablet! Better to read books! There is no development!
“Since Gutenberg invented the printing machine, youth has gone wrong. They will be stuck in the book – no spirituality. Nicholas of Flavia, 1444

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120844
 20.11.2015
There is direct evidence that there is a thermonuclear reaction on the Sun, there may be small carcasses throwing up and this causes the temperature to rise and hydrogen to burn out. No one planted a research device on the sun and did not take samples of soil.

There is such a thing - spectral analysis. by the radiation with which it burns, you can say exactly what it burns

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №120843
 20.11.2015
Neradence: A week ago I was attracted by a plush dragon. Very cute and pretty big.
The cat didn’t like the dragon, because from the cat’s point of view the only object worthy of love is himself. And today, while I was making coffee, the cat finally got to the dragon and killed him very heroically.
Fuck, I should at least cut him off and show him the wreath, but he came to the kitchen so beautiful, with a heroically killed cotton in his teeth, and such a proud expression on his cheek that I roasted, a horse. XD is
SM: Now your cat is named George? x )

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №120842
 20.11.2015
You are not an introvert, you are a fool.
Maybe I’ll find another psychologist.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120841
 20.11.2015
I’m not saying I’m struggling in the bathroom for too long, but when I get there, my mom begins to sing “Farewell to the Slavic”.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120840
 20.11.2015
Valery
Here you would wake up, like in Heroes III: to immediately see — oh, Capitol gave you 5000 gold, the municipality 2,500, diamonds there from the mine, sulfur.
by 11:11:42

Sergey
Oh, a new batch of gargules appeared in the closet, grimmins were born under the bed, and titans are removed from the bathroom.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120839
 20.11.2015
I work in the service, the client comes (the act is not properly drawn up) with the words "I found you a cane".It sounds especially spicy from the mouth of a person working in the state control.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №120838
 20.11.2015
In a quarrel with his girlfriend, he painted her eyelids with a towel. I go so at work, no one can understand what has changed in me and what is wrong with me. The employee said, “Semonych, I can’t understand why, but something seems to me that you’re a bit dumb today.”

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №120837
 20.11.2015
I go to the EuroNet to put money in. Behind the stand, a cute lady is talking on the phone. When she sees me, she ends the conversation with these words: “All, An, I can’t talk anymore. And don’t forget to remove the cowards before the guests.”



There is no scene. I look her in the eyes, she doesn’t look away, but in a second it becomes just a point. Finally, he begins to explain the situation accurately, clearly and with exaggerated calm:



I am alive. With a girlfriend.

with her. and today. The Birthday.

Guests will come.

And at us. In the kitchen. Clothes are hanged.

She can forget.

And you... and you now.

at all. on me. Must get married.



http://stabbut.livejournal.com/271172.html

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №120836
 20.11.2015
The Unfortunate :
Don't be fooled, Bosch with the horizontal load of my daughter has been jumping in the bathroom for 3 years, like a monkey, even trying to climb the toilet. and"

Have you tried to remove the transport bulbs?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120835
 20.11.2015
- Lie on the preservation - there is a girl with a triple (eco). She asks: Do you have a trio? She said, “Until I see you again!
I had it. In the first ultrasound was one, and in a week two. And that same day, the second specialist saw three. :D I was accustomed to seeing more on every subsequent ultrasound on the child.
Maybe they have a bad resolution?
Or they’re afraid to think it’s true.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120834
 20.11.2015
Holivar for piracy - because of the unprofessionalism of the producers,
People who do not want to learn to earn money.
In the country a crowd of successful musicians and performers, starting with BG (and the same case, when in a couple of days they collected several lamas for an album),
And ending up with very beginners who publish posts "I will perform at a concert in your city while paying for tickets, food and accommodation".

If you are not online, you are "NO".
And earning from the sale of stereocassets is a past era.

[ + 55 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120833
 20.11.2015
A classmate told me he was 28 years old. He was taken to the state hospital for examination, a 6-year-old girl fell on her arm, a severe stroke. I looked at the photo, no cracks, no fractures, everything is okay. The girl has a birth defect. The picture shows pathology. Looking at the hand, the fingers move slightly, but the brush itself virtually does not move in a slightly curved state. The parents said that they were offered an operation, but no guarantees on the outcome were given, and they also did not have much money.



He is a young surgeon, the case is interesting for him and looking at the photo saw that he can fix it, says right in front of his eyes already in his mind scrolled the operation, where to crush how to collect, etc. He asked his parents to conduct a more detailed examination to bring the girl to him when he was in a private clinic.



In short, after several examinations and consultation with other doctors, he was already confident that he could help the girl. I met with the director of the clinic. Called the parents with the girl and told them that the operation will be done for free in the clinic for 3-5 days, but then they will need to pay for physiotherapy for the girl, because in their clinic it was not, but advised them another clinic, which will do everything for a purely symbolic fee.



The parents doubted, and asked all the time, and suddenly it will get worse and what are the guarantees:



"I will tell you honestly," said the classmate, "she will never become a pianist and a tennis player, but her hand will be straight and even be able to hold a pen and write normally.



The voice came from a girl:



Doctor, can I paint? I really want to paint.



The mother cried by pressing the girl to herself, and the father just lowered his eyes and sneezed to the doctor.



A year later, I received the most expensive gift I ever had. This girl came to my work with her parents and gave me a painting she painted specifically for me. And at the bottom of the crumbling child's handwriting with printed letters is written "Thank you doctor!"

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