In the last century, the bride had to remain impeccable before the wedding. Nowadays, it is desirable that you are not pregnant.

A woman asks an old man in the marketplace, “Why an egg?” He replied, “4 rubles for one egg.” She says, “Can I get 6 eggs for 20 rubles or do I leave?” The old man replied, “Take it, because I haven’t had a sale yet. At least I will start trading today. I have sold very little lately.”

She bought them after receiving a discount of 4 rubles and pleased as if she had received a gift, she went and sat down in her Mercedes.

Having agreed with friends to go to the restaurant, they ordered as usual a lot of excess of which remained a significant portion.

When they brought the bill of 7,400 rubles, this woman paid 8,000 and said that the donation should not be returned. It seems like the story is normal for the restaurant, but very painful for this old man. She regretted giving him 4 rubles, but actually threw out 600. Why do we have attacks of greed when it comes to really poor people?

History is real.

Is it true that Russia is buying potatoes from Israel?
It seems true.
Why don’t they grow themselves?
I do not know. Maybe the land is lacking.

From Incognito:

When I just arrived in Israel, I demanded in the store to sell me two syphilis and could not understand why the seller was red, then pale.
WOW: And what was there really meant instead of two syphilis? and 😉
XX: Two towels - they sound very similar (a towel magevet, syphilis - agevet, you think the letter forgot, I too!)
Put yourself in the place of a seller to whom a girl in shorts, a maid and a horse tail enters the store and asks to sell her two syphilis. Our conversation sounded approximately like this:
I need two syphilis, please.
I have not.
I know what is, I have seen it myself.
No to me.
Yes, I say, I have seen it!
Well, let’s eat, why do you have two?! to
My mom said one for me and the other for her.
She killed me :)))

1v: She has a couple of options for August 10 for 350 UAH, for 7 nights, ultra, etc. by 5 stars
2: Duma, for 7 nights, ultra, and so on. At 5 stars you should go alone with your wife or wife. But without children. And really remember why you loved her 15 years ago. Not to sleep all the nights, to fuck, to bounce, to sing songs on the sidewalk "Gorilla pine, burned", and nihuya not to be afraid to be disappointed

A sign of time: I wait for Google or Yandex to update satellite images to check whether we have placed a fence on the country.

I have lived with a girl for a year and a half. Not once in that time she broke up with me. And here yesterday at 10 a.m. (she is on vacation, sleeping until two o’clock, t.k. I have a phone call, which causes her to wake up, looking at me with half-open sleepy eyes and wondering what time it is. I inform you that 10. "Yes, they woke up in such a morning to call!" - she is outraged and simultaneously with the tirade gives a loud ringing PUC.
Five seconds of silence. His eyes expanded from horror.
Do you know how upset I am?? to
I am not confused, ch)

If the BP comes and the zombies begin to resurrect - it is important to remember that the zombies can be killed with a shot in the head. Therefore, it is necessary to buy an army helmet in advance.

A fun parish is a church near the circus.

Voenega: Why do I think that if they were to spend that money on buying and distributing free spells, the effect would be better?

Lizardian: But first we need to tell you how to use them.
I read here how African prostitutes were taught to protect themselves by demonstrating the stretching of a condom on a cucumbers (or bananas). So the prostitutes did not stretch the condoms to the clients, but placed next to the "workplace" a cucumbers in a condom, which played the role of a protective amulet.

Chat
Angara: Everything is correctly written!! All the pets! Idiots are fucking.
You run through Siberia, keep silent. It was the first time I saw the rivers talk.

The slug of the sorsal positive from personal experience, or direct darkness in posts and a complete lack of faith in people :)



of 1993. I am standing at a stop in Baku. The late evening. The trip is almost over, there is no money, the bus too. Braking a car, driving a grey man.

Where to go, son?

“Thank you, dad, there is no money.

Is everything in life about money?

brought for free.



The year 2002. of China. I sit in a street cafe in Harbin, read a Russian book, drink beer. There is another bottle here.

I did not order.

It’s from the neighbor’s table.

I see the Chinese sitting, shaking their hands, shouting, “OK! “”

Send them two bottles.

I have four answers.

I didn’t compete any more :)



The year 2005. of Bolivia. I go to the old town (also in the evening). Three men guard the road. And I only have $10 in my pocket, although for Bolivia it’s a bubble. The main thing is not to be offended. I come closer. One says to me:

You won’t go anywhere, sir.

(Of course of course.

“Today is my daughter’s wedding, everyone should drink at her.

The next three hours were very busy.



The year 2005. The United States. I went into a small town in the countryside where I needed it. I went to the store to ask for the address.

Do you need Dr. Adams?

Oh yes mom.

It is 5 miles from here. My son will take you.

“Well, Mom, I’ll call a taxi.

Just relax, sir, you are in Arkansas.



The year 2006. The funeral of former President of Serbia Slobodan Milosevic in Pozarevac (not positive, but nevertheless). It is not allowed to take close photos of the catapult. I try to sleep. A policeman appears.

Please leave the fence.

I only have a couple of images, no objective takes.

Sorry it is forbidden.

I am from Russia.

Take a picture, my Russian brother. I thought you were German.



The year 2006. NATO base in Afghanistan. The Russian-Ukrainian press conference. Everyone was already hungry, because the Ukrainians brought the whisky. We tell an anecdote. knock at the door. At the threshold - a natoviec in glasses, a maika and cowards, thin. It starts by preventing us from sleeping. People agree and apologize. But the NATO is offended by the world and says, "You Russians have a low morality in general." Here two Ukrainians rise at once - one from Ternopil, the other from Zhytomyr. The one who is from Ternopil, the size of three of me.

What did you say about the Russians? The thermostat says.

Go here! Requires a jelly. Okay go here!

We calmed them. The Nato did not come in.



The year 2011. of Georgia. I went to a wine factory near Telavi, just went to photograph. As a tourist, he did not present a passport. They let go, they show it. Then they say the director asks to come in. I went in and there was a bottle.

I want to drink for the friendship of Russia and Georgia.

How not to drink.

Now for your parents.

You will not refuse either.

Now for the great Russian people.

by God. And no one will save.

I do not remember how I left.



Such stories are a lot. There are also non-alcoholics :)

Idiots cannot be taught. An idiot cannot be challenged or brought to clean water. Because the idiot is barred from reality by a thick layer of a slippery, disgusting smell of substance called demagogy. It scares the enemy. And it protects itself from it, crawling out of the seemingly chain of facts and logic.
Try to teach, expose or challenge! No matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you persevere, he cracks. You are just cheating.
Per that’s why those of us who are lucky enough to grow up don’t waste their time arguing, if, of course, it’s not a question of life and death.

More here :
here here :

XXX: Return the Poklonska to Ukraine

Only a barter. We will send Savchenko back to you.

I imagined this heartbreaking scene on the bridge: harsh people in gray coats, ringing silence, tension literally spilled in the air, and here... The exchange took place, the two figurants in a quick step headed to the cars, blissfully dropped on the back seat... phone phones got out and started tweeting all kinds of shit.

-- Around the moment of their meeting in the middle, behind the picture there is a scream: "Brow the bridge!"

From the hub, from the discussion of blocking the online diary for the banner 18+:

franzose: Ai-ai-ai, #onizedeti and #yezemati These kids know all porn without you thanks to the internet. Do you want to ban the internet?

Jef239: Could it be better to ban women immediately? They are still naked under their clothes.

@rost_brat : Students come to our factory to practice at work
They were arrested for paperwork.
They were dealing with me with special services.
So here
I don't know which of them did it, but the handwriting was the same.
I appeared there.
Bedding (instead of clothes)
Shoes for the soul (instead of the soul)
and most importantly
Mining helmet (instead of helmet)

zzz: How much of your total family income do you spend on food?
XXX: Well, 80 percent
Zzzz: You seem to be earning little.
No, I eat too much.
Alexandre, and how much of your family income is spent on food?
Zzzz: Well 30 percent.
XX: Where do you put the rest?
Zzzz: Here’s what you’re asking me every night.

True godlessness must be in the shower. He does not need mediators in the form of popes and poor believers. A true wicked and anti-clerical does not need to be heard by the pope. He does not believe in his soul. Those who say that for unbelief it is necessary to go to church and appeal to the popes – or to the Orthodox forum – with the scream “You are all lying” – he is simply trying to introduce mediators into genuine atheism and to profit from unbelief. This is the same hypocrite that Yeshua Ga-Nozri never spoke of. Silently believing, not telling anyone about it and not imposing your atheism - this is the true godlessness that after death turns into a fox!

<yuri> Moscow is full of people who have never been to Red Square.
In Moscow, the Red Square is full of people who have never been to Moscow. and :-)

I go to work, I don’t touch anyone. For a couple of quarters from the institution I see a car accident with a familiar car - stopped, ask no need to help. He said goodbye and walked around the cars. The case of life - the focus of the acquaintance entered the back of a pink machine with the inscription Blonde. Next to the injured machinery nervously smokes a tough man of the biking outdoors. I say :

- It seemed easy to get rid of - the bumper to replace and all... And where is the blonde?

The man throws another cigarette and nervously reports:

The blonde will beat me in the legs when she comes back from the birthplace.