Which sadist invented the deep drilling of a tooth with a nerve extraction to be called le-che-ni-em? To treat is when it has been anointed and it has healed.

Yesterday, in the street, a man stood nearby half drunk. He looks at me and says:
You are healthy! Where are you crawling?
I grab myself on the fat bubble and start listing local grocery stores:
Maria-ra, the house and lily
to the people nearby gradually arrives, they begin to roast one after the other. The man is murmuring. A stupid...

Student years (end of the 1990s or early 2000s). Educational practice of biofak at the university experimental station. For experiments purchased wonderfully strange - imported equipment. To it go imported consumers - in particular, test tubes. They are formally one-time, but we understand that the budget is not rubber, and there are a lot of more interesting ways to spend it.

Leche most often had to wash the test tube, because the girls were not allowed to do this before for some male chauvinistic reasons, and of the boys he had the smallest hands with the thinnest fingers (most boys at the faculty had healthy cabinets, and he was low and thin).

A few months passed. A party in the shelter, almost everyone has split up, Losha collects the dishes and breaks into the kitchen to wash it. To all questions he joyfully answers that here compared to the biostation - paradise, hot water from the crane flows, and does not interfere with the basement.

Now I realized that my wife and I communicate via TCP and she with me via UDP.

On the wall of VKontakte:
Instead of the cockroaches.
Put in the head of the meat,
Lighting the road
In the fog of thought.

The commentary:
A terrible rhythm.
The author wrote a nightmare.
Maybe in his head.
interrupted

A.D.: I had a dispute with a colleague about the capremont of houses. He is sacredly convinced that as soon as he is in the house to be made on schedule capremont - he should not pay more.

A.G.: That’s why they’ll never do it :)

Are you intelligent or not?

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

XXX: I see that you are intelligent

xxxh: I am now eating and rubbing on the music center "Hands up"
Shame on the neighbors.
I have a separate house.
Sorry for the home.

XXX: I have been on methamphetamine for 5 years. All right, only the fingers on the legs fell off. In principle, they were not needed.

The case was in the turbulent nineties, sent us with a colleague on a business trip to the geographical edge, got very long, electric car, bus, suburban train, long and boring, arrived late at night, we go to the local hotel, tired and angry, on the street no soul, the town as if died out, which the same little tension.

Suddenly two cars appear, and stop near us, from there the guys of strong body shape fall out, a girl comes out, she is asked to show us - they? She says no. Everyone sits in the cars and leaves.

We go on, in five minutes, both of us ask each other a question without talking - what if she said they? ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to

I recently decided to go to my hometown to visit my parents. I met by chance with the former employer, well, he offered me to return with a promotion to the place of a person, because of which I, in fact, and left at the time (the deputy head of the region. branch of one institution. They came to the office, warned that they would have to work with a female team. We enter.. Drum breaking - two of my exs are sitting at the neighboring tables.

He politely refused and left. One went well, but with the other. The topic for conversations in the office for a while is provided.

PS Not in vain to me in the universe, a life-savvy prede said - don't meet with girls with the same specialty...

Once in a distant student time, I remember, I gathered with a girlfriend, for the whole night. Purchased wine, candy and of course not forgotten about product No. 2. I go to the pharmacy. I am a pharmacist, an adult serious aunt in glasses.

I: Please give a container 2 packs.

A: Why do you have so much?

I: Well, all of a sudden it will be useful so that you don’t run at night.

A is OK. What are you?

I: Yes to me, no difference, any give me.

A: Well, there is a blackberry taste, there are lemons, what do you want?

I: Finally I accepted. I don’t care, give it to your taste.

A: I like the black ones. Let me give you one lemon lady, the other black.

I: Let’s go now!

After these words, the pharmacist brings two Coldrex)))

I’m not Coldrex, but Contex! ?

A: What is WAAAATH? ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to

I still can’t forget her red face from embarrassment, and my inhumane efforts to contain the wild laughter that broke out of the inside of my body)))

If you are sick, perspective and lighting will not help you.
"What kind of car - such and photo"(c)

That’s why you’re not a famous photographer, but you’re shooting your weddings for a batch of vodka.

Communication in the forum:

The girl - you, men, from the woman only borst and needed. Ready to give up sex.

Guy 1 - I don't need to talk about the borsches, it's already going back from them, because this is the third week from Monday to Thursday for breakfast and dinner I have a borsch blush I feel that if the next week starts too, then on Monday I will hold a rally in the kitchen with the transport "No borsches!" and I will start an indefinite hunger strike.

I can help your trouble for free! For almost a month without my wife, I can arrange barter fried eggs in exchange for your borscht.

My girlfriend started eating according to the healthy eating system. The point is to eat slowly and not eat at all for 3 hours before going to bed.

She came late from work, quietly ate and said, "Now I can't sleep for three hours, I'll go and play."

by FACEPALM.

Without a joke,
I was a retired captain at school.
A great man. One of the two teachers who could come to replace any subject lesson and hold it. Not worse than the good half.
The second was chemistry.
But she did not give as much of the subject as she did with the class "la-la".

I’ve been a smoker (I’m not proud of this) for quite a while, and over the past few years the continuous rise in cigarette prices has become very stressful. As a result, more and more people refuse to shoot in the street. But now a boy approached me and said:

Can I buy a cigarette for 5 rubles?

Since my package costs 80 rubles, I gave the guy a cigarette and a ruble of delivery.

This is illegal mail trade.

I was born in the city of Chelyabinsk. For a long time (all his childhood) he lived in another city.

When I returned, I needed to urgently find a job, there was no time to choose and I arranged for a construction hypermarket as a consultant.



Once, a 35-year-old man came to us and bought a expensive construction drill. He burned on the same day.

He came, and everything was ok. Changed on warranty, quickly and without any shrinkage. Everything was normal. No one was rude to anyone, no chamil. “Well, the technology is breaking.” The man took the drill and it seemed to us that he would turn and leave happy with such a quick result but it wasn’t here.

He turned out to be "significantly bombarded" because of the fact that he had to waste time replacing the product. And he immediately began to demand compensation, worth almost half the price of this drill.

At the box he was polite and delicate sent where grandfather Makar the calves did not chase. The man went to the director. They listened to him and were pleased with him. That he quickly managed to find a replacement and that there was another similar drill in the warehouse. But the man insisted so much that he was offered to return the drill, and in exchange the store will reimburse its full cost. He refused and left the drill for himself.

I worked in the “building” section. Drills are sold in the "tools" section, but the man was for this absolutely p%; No. He came and began to take my brain.

Telling how he is poor almost on foot from the other end of the city with a drill in his hands...., and he has a job, every minute stands like that Boeing -which is above us in the sky, and we are crucifiedNo; Noya has a damaged goods...., and he is a hero and his construction stays....

I listened to everything within the framework of subordination, and then I said to him that while he poured my soul on me, he lost more rubles and the Russian economy may be in full ass because of this. According to this, he should immediately take the drill and pizz%; : go to the building to drill holes. He did not like my response, he wrote a complaint against me.

Then he went to the household equipment department. And I don’t know what he found there. He hit the glass shower cabin with a drill box, the most expensive in the section.

As a result, he broke the drill, bought a broken shower cabin (worn off until the cameras themselves showed him.) He broke his clothes on his left hand, cut off his ear and neck.

Then the men from the security service roared. As it turned out, the man at home just wanted to hang the pear, and the drill bought, said the construction is serious. And about what to do with the construction works have taxi drivers, just down.



Now I live in another city. I am late to work. I called a taxi. And you guessed right, that uncle is coming to pick me up.

We go talk, I think the face familiar and persistently remember where I came from.

And here he tells the same story, only from his face. I told for a long time, I quietly smiled and thought of myself that he probably forgot the superman's coat today at home. Then the case reached the fairy final, where the court awarded him an incredible moral damage, part of which the store has not paid him so far.

Well, then I couldn’t stand it and asked him quietly: “Well, you say, did you specifically break the most expensive shower cabin that day or was it a coincidence?”

The man looked at me questioningly, a little stunned.

And I decided to add: How your ear has healed a long time after that. (It is worth noting that the bodily injury he mentioned slippery and said nothing about the ear)



The rest of the road was silent. There are people...

4 course, the first pair of chemistry. Students surrounded the teaching table with samples of different substances, consider, comment. They laughed at the cocks, and then someone noticed...

Wasn’t that Vaseline?

The teacher replied indiscriminately:

This is Vaseline. Special for the session.

It was a few years ago when I went to clubs quite often and, overall, I liked it.

On the dance field I met a girl and after a while she decided to introduce me to her friends. I sat down at their table, and she left me with her friends for a moment. One girl from their company was very active in communication, she began to talk about her hobbies and preferences. She told me without silence, I had almost nothing to say and ask. But she refused to talk about their place of study, motivating it by the fact that after the guys learn about it, they disappear – they are afraid and leave. After a while, she decided to say it, but on the condition that I didn’t leave. The place of their studies was the University of the IMD. I laughed and decided, as soon as possible, to tactically leave their company. And all because of the fact that she smelled terribly from her mouth, so much that talking to her I only thought about how to get off faster and not see all their company.

And their place of study, as she thought, had nothing to do with it.