5 consecutive SMS from a pregnant wife (an average break of 3 minutes):
Fuck, I want to fuck.
and chips.
- Buy marinated mushrooms when you go from work
and kefir.
I’m probably going to my mom today.

O_O

Dad opened YouTube for himself. Now she looks at videos about cats and chicks loudly.

From the hashtag, a post about Easter on Google's Birthday, everyone boasts in comments screens with records in the range of 150-180 points. Here, one of the struts with a record of 901, on the screen can be seen that the language is Belarusian. Comments to post:
It is in Belarus.)

Imagine a world where everyone is vegetarian. People would cease to grow animals intended for slaughter, which means that millions of pigs, cows and chickens would not even get the right to live, even with subsequent transformation into cocklets or getting into soup.Moreover, domesticated livestock is absolutely not ready for independent existence, so, anyway, most such animals are doomed, even without a butcher's knife - chickens learned to fly, which makes them an easy prey for predators, and cows would rest in the first winter. Those who would still be able to adapt to the natural conditions would cause irreparable damage to the wildlife. Is it better than eating meat?

Obligate all vegetarians to keep a couple of cows and pigs at home, let them take care of them, feed them. Well, if they fight for their rights, then let them do it all to the end... or they can only glorify and agitate in their ranks...
PS Really got it. At work in the office of 10 people 6 vegetables. I’m already bypassing the refrigerator with their containers with green shining in the dark vegetable soups of purple. And why are all vegetarians so fiercely called into their ranks, such a feeling that they are jealous that everyone around them is eating meat, and they are not.

If you suddenly find yourself stuck in a chariot and dumbly dragging it somewhere on an infinite road, it may be that you have been struck, and the fault of the struck.
But the fact that you looked like a riding donkey who only needs this is not the fault of anyone but you.

Shortly and for the first time.
A friend told me. He works in GIBDD and somehow on duty he stops the machine for a violation (which is not important). Driving a very pleasant woman. Presented as required.
I violated the ‘point’.
She asks:
What threatens me?
He is:
One to two times dead.
And she doesn’t see a murmur, but in her mouth it was heard... and she says embarrassed:
“You know, I don’t mind at all... but my husband is sleeping on the back seat.
A friend is half...

If you don’t know what to buy to a girl, tell her as if you’ve already bought a gift and offer her to guess. She will list what she wants.

Here began the first freezing... the stoves in the electric stoves were transferred to the mode of incineration.

Today on Rambler two consecutive announcements:
In the Khabarovsk region there is a rapid decline of water.
Water has been found in Martian soil.
Does he go there?

The judgment is not guided by conscience. The judge...

by Dybala:
to this:

Task for 1st class:
"E__k from fear tries to eat!"
Task: insert the slogan "g"...

What will the fear do? They come together. When will you remember?

What is the fear trying to do? to go. Go to school.

The relationship with my husband has reached the point of boiling, in my hearts I write to one near-psychological community, that, say, most men are ungrateful by their nature, all victims - career, friends, hobbies - for their sake will not be appreciated and as a result the less you pay attention to them, the more they love us. I described quite in detail some characteristic examples, but from the "left" account, I know that my husband also reads this page sometimes.

Suddenly I see, among other comments, the angry response of my husband, that you, girl, a loser, we have no such in the family, we have a love-carrot and a full package of mutual understanding!
I’m sitting all night with my face –"Shoot?o_O". Then an upset husband comes in, ticks my post in the face and begins to complain that because of such... other women will think the same about their husbands, although they, other men, are not such and no one is to blame that "this fool just got the goat!"
I endured a tirade, with the effort of will holding back the stone face, so as not to explode thought, if not to add as an update to the post:" taking advantage of the opportunity, I want to pass on a greeting to my husband %userneym%" o, santa simplicita ))

I collect a sect of witnesses of square batteries 'Planet 1'

Previously I bought sugar, and poured it in a large bowl, from under mayonnaise, the last time (yesterday), bought sugar refined, and poured it in a bowl, today the employee approaches the bank, in his hands holds a spoon, sugar poured, opens the bowl and hangs minutes for two)))) I didn't stand, now the whole department rjet)
They said I broke the system.

to this:
In Dagestan, there has never been such a thing that in the collection, in the mail, in the conspiracy, and in general in any state office (mines and taxes do not count) employees camouflage customers. Everywhere polite, explain in detail what is unclear, help. It’s been a month in Novgorod. What do you do to them that they are so wicked?
I am...
In the rest of Russia, the situation with firearms is stricter. They are not afraid of anything. Not ordinary employees or officials.

by ALA:
Listen to Spaniel.
by Jana:
The hunter runs with him.
by ALA:
I want to run.
by Jana:
He will bite his shoes and furniture.
by ALA:
fucking
YANA
and your connection to the internet
by ALA:
And who will not?
by Jana:
The fish

The plane was preparing for departure. The captain noticed a gray patch in one of the engines, and shouted to the mechanic:
The Semenic!! Take off the right engine!! to
Blame yourself! I have a lot of other things to do,” Semenich cried in response, and knocked under his nose, a fucking jerk.
The captain got out of the aircraft and went to get the trunk from the engine, as in the back he heard the cry of the second pilot:
"There was a mistake on the monitor of the autopilot, and I did nothing!"! to
“Well, dick press ‘okay’ and I’ll pull the cloth out and fly,” the captain cried in response, and knocked under his nose, the fucking user.
In the aircraft, passengers were placed in the following places:
The stewardess!! I can't attach the seat belt, maybe something is wrong with it? I screamed Igor.
The stewardess approached the man and helped him attach the seat belt. Then he went away and knocked under his nose, Fucking Jizer.
The system administrator Igor relaxed in his chair and prepared for his vacation. Finally, not seeing these fucking users for two weeks, he thought in the taste of a wonderful vacation, where he was awaited by the waiters who would make him remove the crumbs from the table, the cleaners who would make him wipe the dust, the bartenders who would make him mix cocktails himself, and many other people who would not want to raise their ass for the small problems of some fucking user.

The son (5 years old) suspiciously quiet at the table, writing something, and not under my pressure (well let’s write "mama, dad, grandma"), but on his own initiative:
Q: How is it written?
I: Just like I, only with a little bird. (I show it in the air)
It’s curious that he writes so. I approach, I look, with large letters: "Opaganastil"
O_O

Did you see Malysheva show how to masturbate correctly?
Is it on the first channel?
and yes!
-Well, we have the country... The power is fucking, but on the television there are tutorials, how to shake.

The case was in Hong Kong, he hired there to help a street soup merchant. The merchant had a cart with a boiler, soup was cooked right here, on the street. He says their cart has been in business for over half a century, and the main secret of the soup business was to never wash the boiler. They cooked the soup all the time, without the slightest break. In fact, they sold the same fish soup for fifty years in a row, the same and not the same, because they were constantly adding some new ingredients, the ones they were able to get.

Son, I can finally tell you about the secret ingredient of my secret ingredient soup!