The apple is the most accurate.

The submarine “Zaporizhia”

In the Ukrainian fleet there is only one submarine – Zaporozhye, ancient as the eyebrows of Brezhnev.

It has been in repair for more than 20 years and serves three purposes: to justify the existence of twenty admirals in the headquarters of the Ukrainian Navy, to regularly waste the budget funds allocated for repair and to maintain a healthy fleet humor.

The first look at the submarine convinces that it was it that inspired Hollywood directors to shoot the comedy "Rise up the periscope", in which Jung asks: "Sir, how does our vessel hold onto the flood?", and the captain answers: "This is thanks to a huge bunch of intentionally sticking to the tea, son."

When the boat was raised for another endless repair at the dock of the 13th (good figure) ship repair plant in Sevastopol, its floatability was regulated by a thick layer of bacon spots above the waterline, and a no less thick layer of midias, shellfish and algae below the waterline.

On an alarming letter from a mother, sleepless nights crying about the fate of the son-submarine, called into the fleet to serve on Zaporozhye, the sailor wrote: "Mommy, you don't worry about me. The boat is tightly bound by rails to the shore. The rails are reliable, Soviet. And the pier was also built by Admiral Nahimov. There are no batteries on the boat, so it has an electricity transmission line. Until the end of my service, she won’t move.”

In 2005, the 35-year anniversary of the submarine was attended by the heads of the delegation of the Zaporozhye Oblast Council. The bosses brought with them vodka "Hortica" in souvenir three-litre bottles, officers exhibited three-litre pots with salt cucumbers and other unpretentious snacks. Healthy officers in honor of brave submarine officers and their bosses were on the rise. When less than half of the bottle was left in the last bottle, the red-red deputy chairman of the Zaporozhye Oblast Council stood up and began to proclaim a toast-apopheosis: "One name only! The submarine Zaporozhye. To bring terror to enemies. When the batteries are purchased...

The Homeric whisper did not allow him to finish his speech.

Members of the RAN gathered signatures for the closure of the department of theology in the MIFI.
Now the wounds are closed.

Today the logic of food has been broken.
Sitting with friends in the tractor, noted dr. The case approached at 23:00 when another acquaintance arrived. We, of course, had already eaten before the debris, and he wanted to order two meals. It turned out that the kitchen is no longer working, and the tractor itself closes at 00:00 (you can order something from the bar and everything). It did not stop him. He asked for a delivery menu and ordered food from another tractor of the same company (which was 24-hour).
As a result, he was brought food in half an hour, but at the same time he was not allowed inside, no matter how much he proved that he was not "with his" but with food from their own tractor. Eventually, the food was left by the host, after closing it was taken.
It would be fine if that ended. He asked a friend of the waitress to take this food, bring it from the black course and bring it to him on the table as an order.
Such people hack government servers through traps.

Give me an iPad.
Daughter: I can not. My husband and I have an agreement.
100 years ago, Alexander Bell invented the phone.
Daughter: I know it. happened in history.
Father: So call me! Take advantage of the achievements of humanity.
I don’t want to talk to her.

Found in comments on YouTube:
Hello, I am the Director of MTS. This is my idiots did not run through?

Previously, doctors (in fact, doctors, and not curlers) tested the drugs they invented on themselves. Why don’t our detoutouts do this with their laws?
YYY: What is the meaning? They have immunity.

To whom the pedras are measured:
Could you write your sex right away? It is blatant to read "I am a veterinarian (OH), a dog doctor (OH again)... my husband" - what kind of pidarasia?

And at the very beginning of the phrase "As long as I WAS in the shower" you are not enough?

The sister (the height of 180 cm, loves heels - it is important) flew on a business trip to China. The first impressions today:
I feel like Gulliver :-(

here here :
In fact, Carlson was an ordinary boomer, who first raised children on sweets, and then, on the roof, put them on a braga.
— — —
Not immediately came to me. At first there was a terrible picture - a brage of children...

by lenobo580
Only poor people smoke.
The Mulin:
No, vulnerable people divide people into people and vulnerable people. Smart people don’t do such nonsense.
and Neor:
The recursion

I live in the north, in the month of August already moisture and rain, all kinds of frogs and frogs are full. They sit in every corner. In general, I work in the country, dig a garden, and I hear a wild scream from the greenhouse. I approach, and I observe the following picture: my girlfriend in the corner is like two healthy frogs. Silently he approached, took them in his hands and took them out to the street. Now I am "Anti-Jabble Ambulance". I love my girlfriend :)

We watch (with the husband) with the child cartoon "Princess and the frog". At the end, the husband thoughtfully says:
Do you know what is the most incredible and fabulous moment in the whole cartoon?
The mm?
Where a girlfriend agrees to give another girlfriend a guy! And a prince too! I would rather believe in talking crocodiles!

Review of the tablet on the website inets shop

Advantages: It is not possible to use it normally. After 5 minutes of use there is an insurmountable desire to fix it on the wall.

Adrons possess the quantum numbers that persist in the processes of strong interaction (strangeness, charm, beauty, etc.)

What is remarkable is that the article has been checked and is a stable version.
_________________________________________________________
Among other things, charm, charm and truth are the aromas that really exist in the physics of elementary particles.

It was cold in the house, and I had to put on an elderly cat wool jacket like last year. The beast was just in a stupor, and one could clearly catch a silent outburst: "Sho?! Again again!!..."

NK: The human mind is able to create a whole universe in a second... and immediately destroy it by drawing away on cookies with milk.

XXX: I have this cough already press
YYY: Does it hurt?
XXX is here (

X: Hi, Serega is sleeping with her grandmother, she wants to adopt her two children, and I saw this straw yesterday with a young guy!
Y: Be calm, this is her eldest son.
Q: How old is this adult?
and 37! The younger is growing up.
Q: Is Nafiga Serege such an old grandmother with two children?
And with three!! to
y: He saved a couple of months ago on condoms, soon the wedding until the stomach is not so visible

nickras: my grandmother recalled with kindness the replaced, old drained elevator in the house, and the new one just wept her =).
shewolf_org: I totally agree with your grandmother. Our old elevators have been running without problems for 35 years, and new elevators are being repaired every month.
nickras: =) The old one was constantly in repair, and the new one was rolled, it is now driving, it seems not to break.
gadzzzilla: to get rid of