What are you crying and standing?
My legs hurt to horror...I can neither sit nor get up. Shoes are the fault?
What did you do at work yesterday?
I sat...
How many times?
From 10 in the morning to 10 in the evening...
and yes. The shoes. Unambiguously.

I’ve seen a lot in my life, but when Lexus passed by! with the perfect white leather cabin in which on the rear seat dried a tiger and everything would be nothing, but the girl was sitting behind the wheel.

Generally very logical. My neighbors, for example, have a Cat Sphinx (nude) named Pushok. And what else?! to
_____________________________________
One of his acquaintances called his sphinx Morshkinka, and why not?

I like these nice naive grandmothers. I work as the head of the department in a large Soviet enterprise. A letter comes with the following content: "Please note, Alexey D... from... department in working hours plays tanks. The Anonymous" Everything would be nothing, but it comes by internal email, from the economist of our department, M...Daria Petrovna. I think I am cruel enough to destroy this happy ignorance.

But the top of a tremendous attitude to his health was shown by the second man who bought at 2 o'clock at night! A moist moisture.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////
My wife is pregnant 😉

Ukrainian sailors are serving in the Azov Sea. After the destruction of two ships of the naval guard, the sailors were handed out armoured vests.
I realized that nobody would swim out this time.

Debt to unpainted girls from history No. 15242:

And men (and the author, I suspect, too) are not painted at all, but often look much worse than unpainted girls. Let’s write all the ballaclaves, or let’s sit home. Just to not force anyone to look at your eyes.
Or at least makeup. and what? The girls are forced...

In fact, it is unclear who is the bigger troll: the author or the moderator. But both, I advise to get healing puzzles in the nearest pitch.

Medical Commission of the driver.
At the reception of the otolaryngologist:

The Doctor: Sixties Four
Patient: What is a whisper?

...
Yyy: So he and a girl after the universe a year filmed a single stitched from some familiar acquaintance. In the second year, I decided to repair.
Yyy: They didn't live for two weeks, as the same owner calls and says, say you have two days to go, my buyers will come. I wanted to warm up on Vankin's work, otherwise I't think about selling it.
YYY: And such a woman calmly says to him: I understood everything, in two days we will leave.

YYY: And calls me and another half of the guys from the group. Shortly as the owner stated he was waiting for an apartment in its original form, a bunch of shit in the middle of the hallway and a sign "you don't even know my real name."

that is. They were filmed through acquaintances and the owner did not know the name.
Nuno
half-stepped the hero right - punished the greedy owner of the factory
Only for some reason does not come out of the head of the phrase - "Do not bring God with such a hero to divorce."

A: I remembered this from the past. I met a girl with a big breast. She’s such a coward and crapper. On the first date, she wore a coat with a very disgraceful cut. She was walking all day and she was trying to make me look at her chest. But I was an educated guy and only looked in my eyes. When she later told me that it all went straight, trying to confuse me, and I never looked at the sights... Such pride took =) The test, so to speak, passed!

>What are you talking about? The girl may "worked as a nurse" more like than "worked as a nurse".

Fuck you swim. How is the difference between sisadmin, enike and programmer to find out - so it is always please, and the nurse and the nurse suddenly the same?! by Natasha!

I decided to go to bed today, I was late for half an hour. The boss is still on vacation, I approach my office, pull the pen and understand that there is no key.
xxx: And at the other end of the corridor appears a figure of a gentrior. I start to cramping and fly into the neighboring office to the sellers.
XXX: I wait until the director passes, hiding behind the closet.
XXX: And she’s just entering this office!! The closet was big, I didn’t notice.
Yyy: An Adult Man

I will not pass by:
to this
— — —
to this:
The author of the story 12606 with айтихэппенс for the phrase "former military dumb and decisive" wants to fill the board a former military, who received the specialty of cybernetics in the military school and now working on the specialty. Kthulhu fhthn!
— — — —
A beautiful illustration!! Bravo to!
= is
The Chevrolet?
If you are called, let’s say, a fool, then will your desire to pay for this fool confirm your foolishness?
Congratulations, you are a rare fool.
— — —
This former military does not want to challenge the statement, but wants to punish the author, which is generally very decisive, but in general (and especially on anonymous internet resource) is fucking dumb. and your cap.

Observations from the clinic.
A young mother with a sting. He holds the history of the disease in his hands, examines the inscriptions on the cover. Then he spoke to his son:
No, look at how they wrote five! No, this is a five, normal. How did they write this? What is this? Does it look like five?
From curiosity, I look at the cover. It means: in the column the number of birth "15", in the column the month - "V"! I look at the baby’s mother, I think, maybe it’s choking. No smiles or doubts.
It is terrible, gentlemen.

On television show Iron Man, again I thought...
Jarmusch to Tony?! to

I knew one individual. His favorite topics for conversation were:
1st I didn't like one person, we haven't seen each other for two years, but using my extensive connections, I still keep putting his sticks in the wheels at every step! Am I not good?
2nd I took the boss and took his place. How young I am! Only something seems to me that everyone around me wants to sit down...there’s shit! Write them puzzles preventively.
Three I have a conscience, but it has no power over me. If it is beneficial for me to go against my conscience, I will easily do it. I am good! You are the slave of your conscience. You have not grown up before me.
4 is I cannot be wrong in principle! So if you don’t agree with me, you’re automatically wrong and you’re at fault. Yes, and if you do not agree on this particular point, too.
5+ and all in the same key.
I listened to his wisdom, listened... and summed up:
If I say it in two words, you are a fool.
No is! He declared. I am not a fool, and I will prove it to you.
What then? I asked.
I can find you and fuck you!
I must say that he really has such a possibility. Fortunately, until he did it. In any case, I do not communicate with him now, so as not to remind me of my existence. But! Attention is a question! Did his proof work? Did I stop considering him a fool? Did I get into his ideas, did I respect him? Or am I just sitting down now and afraid that some fool is trying to scratch me?

From the slug:
There was written here that the country was zombie to such an extent that Orwell and Goebbels cried, hugging, from the realization of their own inferiority.
Let me summarize.
We have a zombie country. Unambiguously. Regarding the name of the country, opinions differ. And even on this site has repeatedly written about the impact on the zombies of frost and other delights of winter. Let's do that - whoever will be the shit in the winter, he and the zombies. of LADY?

xxx: I, b@!, cool Sisadmin, with a big letter, and you are shit, you can't give me a normal!
I: What is the indication on the router?
XXX What?! to
I: Can you report on the router?
What is the "indication"?! to
I’m OK about myself. What lights are burning?
Well, there is food, a leaflet, a planet, waves.

Today is International Literacy Day. All the Grammar Nazis will swim in the fountains and shout: “For Zhi/Shi!” and break Dali’s explanatory dictionary.

US Defense Minister: Russia should completely withdraw troops from the border with Georgia
I am pleased with one comment:
With the same success, this minister may demand a full collection of Mandarin in Abkhazia.