bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110049
 01.03.2015
I add :
to this:

On: "We live in a private house, finally had a normal internet. The router hanged in the corridor meter at 3-4 in height"

X is coming.
--------

You are just far from this, in houses for one family often the hall after the entrance door is made to the entire height of the house, in the hall a beautiful staircase is placed, which you can climb to the second floor, because the rest of the house is divided into 2 floors.
+ is
Did the Simpsons watch? This is like them.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110048
 01.03.2015
Upgrade Windows 7 to 10. At the first download, she issued "Hello, with return!" And I read "Hello, Perversionist!" So now I think how I’m upset.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №110047
 01.03.2015
As a woman with a height of 178 cm (almost your 180) and under the age of forty, I responsibly declare: if I gain up to 80 kg, it is not what to run, I will hardly walk.
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Madam, if with a weight of 80 kg you will REALLY walk with difficulty, it means that with your musculoskeletal system, heart and lungs something is very bad regardless of your weight. If I were you, I would be well examined. For in my 50s, with my 76s at the height of 160 I not only walk fast, long and enjoy walking, without problems climb the stairs with heavy bags, do exercise, but also - imagine - even run a little. I don’t even know how much a healthy person needs to gain in order not to be able to walk. In any case, a young girl with a weight of about 100 at the old job was quite herself.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110046
 01.03.2015
A quiet family evening breaks a wife’s hysterical scream
Mushrooms and cattle in one place!!!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110045
 01.03.2015
As a child, I often went to my grandmother in Ukraine. My grandmother was intensely feeding the poor Leningradis, because she thought we were weak and pale. At that time he was 6 l. With all the truths and lies he tried to get rid of food. Kitchen in Ukraine is a separate building. So, after a week of living, the brother, all who entered the yard, warned, pointing to the kitchen - Don't go there, there they feed.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110044
 01.03.2015
And my pony does not eat the rainbow, and butterflies do not come out of it. You are all fuckers! Masha, 45 years old Children’s Morning Organizers.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110043
 28.02.2015
When I bought the first dough, my mom said, don’t walk in the dark alone, they’ll be removed. The grandmother replied: "C Lenny? I would like to look at those idiots".
5 years have passed. I go in the evening, not late, but no one on the street. I met two guys, began to rush, one on my face came: "Why are you going alone so late? Take a live ". I hit them so that they apologized for a long time, gave them a pack of cigarettes and led them to a friend, where I, in fact, went, so that no one would hurt.
It was funny then, but now I realize that the guys just didn’t get serious.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110042
 28.02.2015
"The Adventure of Captain Donka" Author: A. Sakov (1991 year like)

Take your stomach as an example. What can you do with such a stomach? Of course losing.
Leave my life in peace!! I am proud of my life!!! to
Diogenes: They start to be proud of the stomach when they can’t do anything about it.


[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110041
 28.02.2015
Beyonce finally broke up!
We sent you a message - you sent more than 3 SMS per month, we connect to you a service of 100 SMS per DAY! If you want it or not, you can turn it off.
This is despite the fact that 1 SMS costs 2.5 rubles, and their bear service is 5 rubles a day.
They seem to be very bad with money, you have to get rid of them.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №110040
 28.02.2015
xxx: And I came up with one word to describe Balrog’s awakening in Moria.
Yyy: Do you have docopalipsis?
XXX is infected. But I was the first to invent it.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №110039
 28.02.2015
He did not get out of there and at the moment when the girl, coming out of her station, came back to me again:
Have you changed your mind?

– – – – –

"Now again, fucking, — beautiful but dumb." — The girl thought...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110038
 28.02.2015
It became very reminiscent of the anecdote about the swan flying south, and the poor weak spot:
------------
And your joke reminded me of a similar, but about the frog: I am a strong bird, I am a proud bird, I am a smart bird.and "

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110037
 28.02.2015
You live in a universe where pony eat rainbow and catch butterflies.
Why is?
There is always a goblin in my universe that will run a script from the previous version in the next release. for another platform. And he will struggle in hysteria that he did everything according to the instructions he ate before reading.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110036
 28.02.2015
In the garden of the son of the children painted portraits of mothers by March 8. I look at the exhibition with interest.
My son, where am I?
Here is!and proudly
Is it me?! (I understand, children’s drawing and all that... but aliens in bigodes???)
and yes! The most beautiful!!! to
And you will argue...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110035
 28.02.2015
The sheep of 16669:
I would see what your nails will have, and how you will take care of the flying lacquer on them.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110034
 28.02.2015
As the women were prostitutes, so they remain.

If your grandmother is a prostitute, it’s just your sad experience.
Choose yourself and suffer.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110033
 28.02.2015
— — —
I will answer.
How far has chauvinism come - the computer for the Games has suddenly become a male feature! I still understand the chauvinism in programming – to it really the boys more often have abilities to manifest, but in toys, what kind of stuff?
— — —
Games have always been the "masculine feature". I will say more, at the dawn of mmo projects it was dangerous to admit that you are a girl. They could stop taking raids and consider them a player at all. And why? Because as everywhere. No good players can be heard. Silently do their job and communicate quietly mostly in ls. But there are others... Who "Oh, and dress up the girl, what’s sorry for you?", "Well, I don’t know what to do here, so I’m standing behind the candlestick and kidding you in the house, "I can’t be killed! I am a girl!" That’s why we don’t like games.
Girl gamer with 12 years of experience, accustomed to appearing a guy

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110032
 28.02.2015
Good luck with the metro clock. I once saw the difference in time between the stations at 10 minutes, when the train was driving a minute and a half from the force :) Once you have an injection - the time services are not easier to check? and :)
It is...
Moscow stations are the gates of the city.Concessionaries hardly broke into the exit and found themselves on the Kalanchev Square.Right of them, the heraldic chickens of Yaroslavl station rose.Directly against them, the October station blinked, painted with oil paint in two colors. The clock showed five minutes on eleven. At the time of Yaroslavsky it was exactly ten. And looking at the dark-blue, decorated with the signs of the Zodiac plate of the Ryazan station, travelers noticed that the clock showed without five and ten.
Very convenient for a date!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110031
 28.02.2015
Discussing the work of searchers

I had a case with a Yandex photo, where there was an inf near the photo, where they came to see it. And there was, among other things, a picture of my cat hiding behind a plush salmon. And I put it in the post, where she wrote, "The cat is afraid of the vacuum cleaner and hides behind the salmon." Then I look at the statistics - cats - my cat is issued by the search engine on requests "sex with a vacuum cleaner" and "hairs fuck".

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110030
 28.02.2015
Not the perfect summer kids.
And there are also imperfect winter, autumn, spring. And there are also completely summer, and completely winter...

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