bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №102654
 08.09.2014
Kids need to dress for the winter, but I calculated – it is cheaper to send them to Thailand for 3 months.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102653
 08.09.2014
Both the melody and the words "Vas volen vir trinken" (three basic couplets) were written by the Celts more than 1,000 years ago. At that time, neither the first nor the second were even in the project. So is. It is the same as saying that the swastika was also drawn by the fascists first :D, well, or the Christians "The Old Testament" wrote :D

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102652
 08.09.2014
Tonight I saw a terrible thing: one aunt on one of the cooking channels was cooking spaghetti in wine. She wiped out a whole bottle of excellent red wine to cook the roasted pasta!!!! How to fall asleep after this?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №102651
 08.09.2014
Question: What can cause tears in you?
Answer: Good music and incorrect code.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102650
 08.09.2014
to this:
I am in Ahua.
And this anthem plays to the crowd on the wolf... on the wolf fucking!! to

What the contactor boldly calls the hymn of the luftaff is actually a very old Irish song, hence the wool. Do not believe everything that the contactor writes to you, there are six titles and five authors.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102649
 08.09.2014
In the bowl:
Signature to the photo (the guy is sitting in the train car): "I am in the fruit cart"

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102648
 08.09.2014
xxx: and I want to rent that apartment to friends, even without any contracts, let them live.
YYY: Well, do you remember Vanku with 352?
xxx: yes
Yyy: So he and a girl after the universe a year filmed a single stitched from some familiar acquaintance. And in the second year decided to do a repair, I helped him more. And Vanka he does not know how to do badly, so in the end he fully charged, there from A to I, and linoleum, and wallpapers, ceilings, glass packs, Finnish sanitary, furniture updated, invested money and soul. He invited Hohyain, showed the work, he was delighted. And what do you think?
xxx: what 7
Yyy: They didn't live for two weeks, as the same owner calls and says, say you have two days to go, my buyers will come. I wanted to warm up on Vankin's work, otherwise I't think about selling it.
YYY: And such a woman calmly says to him: I understood everything, in two days we will leave.
XXX: And what?? to
YYY: And calls me and another half of the guys from the group. We get together and in 2 hours all the furniture in the van, the sanitary is twisted, even the toilet! The linoleum is removed, the wallpapers are broken, and where not to break are painted with a marker, the glass packs are also pulled out. Shortly as the owner stated he was waiting for an apartment in its original form, a bunch of shit in the middle of the hallway and a sign "you don't even know my real name." So Annie, be careful without contracts, so that this doesn’t happen :).

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №102647
 08.09.2014
Remember the joke with a robot screaming?
Who hasn’t seen him...
The Japanese have built a robot that runs.
The naked?
To run and scream.
Why Why?
Do not ask!! Or they will invent another...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №102646
 07.09.2014
It smelled delicious from the window, and the whole room smelled stupid. In a couple of minutes I can't stand, I climb, shake my head, smell. I can't see the source of the smell, but another head shakes on the side. It turns and smells.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////
The mountains, are you?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102645
 07.09.2014
Harvest_of_Sorrow
Recently I read about cigarettes with biodegradable filters, which incorporate seeds of the plant. Given the amount of mutants that are in tobacco smoke, hell, I do not envy this plant!

I would like to discuss the environmental issue:

1) Biodegradable condoms with gums. Unforgettable feelings and care for the environment!

2) Biodegradable bags / fantics with bamboo seeds. By the way, a two-meter straw of garbage will be a good reminder that it would be time to take everything to the wash.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №102644
 07.09.2014
System Administrator in the Office

Jedi admines are looking for a capable fallovan!
If you are attracted:
Complicated Sysadmin tasks
IQ concentration per square meter
A worthy “white” sp and full soc. package
Large and bright office in the city centre
Cakes and fruits!
If you are:
Submitted with distinction regulation on assembly/disassembly of computer
You know what the IP package looks like.
You love the command line more than the windows
Celebrate the Birthdays of Stallman and Torvalds
You constantly learn and learn new things.
You can solve user problems.
You can come to work without being late.
Dream of working in a professional team.
Not yet an eagle, but no longer a bird.
Leave it all and go to the summary!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102643
 07.09.2014
My friend just read Dracula.
The dialogue:
HH: But there is one but.
When Dracula was murdered, the woman bitten by him became a human being.
Who Bite Dracula?
Tagged: Batman

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №102642
 07.09.2014
D:...the soldiers went, it-bates - where far they went, it-bates - the soldiers went, it-bates soldiers left!
XHH: to tell the original version of the style they refused.

Attack the soldiers!
All the soldiers are bats.
Who dared again.
The heroes, the heroes?! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №102641
 07.09.2014
[12:47:30] Sew: fu
[12:47:41] Stage: Sam Fu
[12:47:49] Stas: I own the fo!
Sewa: My fu is better than your fu!
[12:48:32] Stas: Let us not measure ourselves with foams

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №102640
 07.09.2014
If you count how many times the word “safety” is used in the c# textbook, it becomes clear why Gates is sponsoring the creation of an ultra-clean and ultra-thin condom.
Humor is just a man.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №102639
 07.09.2014
I’ve been dating a girl for 4 years now)))

Xenia : I just post news, current photos, and there are 30% photos with mushrooms, 30% photos from weddings, 30% of thugs and birth of children)))
I don’t fit into any group!!!!! to
Let’s go after the mushrooms!!!! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №102638
 07.09.2014
A very full waitress (d) speaks to the administrator (p):
D: I wasn’t always that fat. I have practiced horse sports before. Until the hole broke.
P – With horror: Who? The horses?! to

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №102637
 07.09.2014
The country, which banned itself from selling alcohol after 23:00, didn't care about all these sanctions
c) KWN

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102636
 07.09.2014
From Picaboo:

Ultraviolet 132
I burn my bathroom with one lighthouse.

FinnHuman
How does it burn?

TkachukIvan
As long as the lighthouse is on, it burns well. Around the mattress, the family gathers, and wash, and if someone gets water on the mattress, they will be removed and sent for a new mattress.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №102635
 07.09.2014
here here :
===
LEV: So you answer me, what country is this? I’m thirty and I still don’t understand.
LEV: Imagine a man going into the woods, his mother into the woods, there around hundreds of kilometers only a forest, even if you die - they will not find. The forest is birds, berries, whites, beauty, though paintings write. At the same time, at the same time... in the middle of the path!!! Tell me, what kind of people are they?
===

Read Weller, my dear man. Every person subconsciously tries to act in such a way as to influence others.
If a man is worthy of something, he builds a house, he plants a tree, and at least he puts a tree in, after all!
If a person is not even capable of the last - it only remains to crack in the middle of the trail, to climb in front of others on the move, and to rebuild without turns.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna