My cat is now 12 years old, which is equivalent to 64 in translation to human age. He lives four cat years in a year, and if the cats were to get a pension, he would get it every week.

If a cat has lived 12 years, and in a year it lives 4 cat years, then now it is 48.
Early retirement of the cat. not well. When cats come to power, they will remind you.

Beginning of 2000. Two young people, my good friend and I, decided to drink a beer late on Friday evening, a normal desire. Beer was then sold around the clock, only the trouble was that there was no cash, and the cards in the bars are still not accepted. Nothing to do, go to the bank. The most common ATM with access from the street. I get the money, and at the moment when the ATM issued the banknotes, someone’s hand tried to grab them. My reaction lagged for half a second, but a friend gave the robber a splash, a good splash, until a knock-out and a complete shutdown. The police, the ambulance, the lost night. We sit in the department, I write a statement, the losing robber immediately, in his bracelets, and the young lieutenant asks him, say what you used to two strong boys, obviously what would get in the mouth. The thief insulted: “But before it all worked out!” The lieutenant lost his pen.

I don’t know how you and I perceive all this story – that some wild, naive people, funny politicians, funny wars, Vladimir Red Sunsets, Trojan Wars, dumb princes who cannot unite before the invasion, wild Tatar Mongols... And in fact, people were – not dumber than us. And the Tatar-Mongols seized the empire with a mail, in which the shipment from China to Moscow went no longer than shorts, or at least not with less guarantee of delivery, and to travel throughout the empire could be without fear of robbery. And the intrigues under Godunov were not duller than under Yeltsin, but they killed too, hardly more. I don't know how, but I, for some reason, have the perception that in the 17th century all naive and stupid, and in the 13th German knights walk as pigs, there would be no rebuilding. At the same time, the Romans heracled long-lasting roads, and water pipelines and colonization were conducted no worse than Spain with England. I don’t think our ancestors were stupid, they just didn’t have phones. And from this they were even smarter - organizing an organization without organizers is cool.

Should I scratch? I am a healthy man 36 years old, at dawn as Carlson, I work a lot, after working with other men I drink beer. And this woman, my wife, gives me his mother’s cake for her birthday! Not what I would expect, something original socks, cowards, on the thin end of the foam for shaving, but SCATTER?! You would see how she rejoiced and praised her in front of the guests... Revenge did not wait long, and if exactly 3 months and 8 days. Yesterday on her doctor I gave her a drill, you would see how I rejoiced and praised her.

A man alone in our village decided to do business: he had chickens in his barracks and sold eggs. Ecologically clean production, no chemicals and antibiotics, only grass and cereals feeds, etc. In general, not what is in the store!

And the customers dropped, the eggs are bought like hot cakes! Who is ten, who is two. They come from their neighbors, from their neighbors.

There is really one disadvantage - eggs, sorry, in a chicken blend. Well, you know, this is not a poultry factory! Right from the chicken. The price is 3-4 times higher than in the store. As they say, health is not spared.

Overall, the customer is satisfied. Business is developing.

But as in any successful business, there is its "know-how", which soon many learned: he buys eggs at the farm, packs in the field and sells already at a new price as environmentally friendly products.

As they found out. Not five chickens can lay several dozen eggs a day.

At one time, a very long time ago, I worked in the subway, worked mostly at night and therefore there were very different people, the main contingent on weekdays is the Bombay, who buy permissible potatoes small and eat it all night, but they still driven out and later for them the food was only for delivery, so here, one night in the cafe comes typical such a bombage and asks for a tomato from me, well that he sooner left, this tomato he got and safely removed, the next day, and it was Friday, he comes in, with guitar and rose, in the cafe there was a lot of people and here he gives the rose first hit the girl, and the knight, and begins to play that type.

In Vladivostok, in the centre.

There is a cafe and there is a serege.

The Great Man Who Gave Me a Free Tomato

He feeds the Godfather.

And it's all a characteristic baritone in the style of Vysotsky, I just couldn't listen to it for laughter.

Soon the cafe self-liquidated for violation of the rules of the franchise.

So a year later, I’m on the bus and I see him, he seems to recognize me too, and just raises his fist and knocks himself on his chest, then raises him up and says

Congratulations to Serena

I just did the same, he smiled and went out, and my friends now think I’m a friend of all the Bohemians of Vladivostok.

and
And you don’t really need a stamp, but you want to be able to say “yes, married,” so that they all keep silent, and you don’t have to explain anything.
and

I quote an anecdote: "Yes, you say that too!"

I just told the kids that the evil uncle Tok was sitting in the rocket and he was biting. No questions arose.

Very reckless on your part! Because many will immediately have questions requiring experimental research:
Is he very evil?
Does it hurt to bite?
You will still punish the children to not lick the door pen on the frost, or suddenly have not yet guessed to try.

I didn’t know that Pelevin was here.
YYY: I am not going anywhere.
YYY: That is he...
A: Fuck you in the ass.

In general so. The cat has seven nipples, wool, teeth and nails. There is no navel. There is him. Third day for the whole family. Everyone is tired except the cat.
So let’s go back, better...

Principles are not socks, if you change them often, it smells bad.

Beginning of 2000. Two young people, my good friend and I, decided to drink a beer late on Friday evening, a normal desire. Beer was then sold around the clock, only the trouble was that there was no cash, and the cards in the bars are still not accepted. Nothing to do, go to the bank. The most common ATM with access from the street. I get the money, and at the moment when the ATM issued the banknotes, someone’s hand tried to grab them. My reaction lagged for half a second, but a friend gave the robber a splash, a good splash, until a knock-out and a complete shutdown. The police, the ambulance, the lost night. We sit in the department, I write a statement, the losing robber immediately, in his bracelets, and the young lieutenant asks him, say what you used to two strong boys, obviously what would get in the mouth. The thief insulted: “But before it all worked out!” The lieutenant lost his pen.

At Medvedev’s proposal to change vocation for money, the chief educator of Russia Lebanov first responded.

Joking about cat buds, you understand at least how such conversations hurt women who are over thirty, and there is no cat in the house? This is a remarkable reminder that women are not as good as they are.

The Procolonial Prejudice
Why can’t you just buy yourself? I bought it myself, kept it and all the norms. The vagina does not procure.

I learned all the details of childbirth much later, by reading a book about female physiology that happened to me.

Did you teach biology at school? Or did you not study in school?
This happens in the 5th class.

Zzzz: Is it not the first one? And especially gifted - even in the kindergarten. And those from whom wunderkids grow up - so straight after birth and tell. Until their own memories vanished.

Today is the Day of Homeless Animals.

I looked at the cat: Murzick...Today is not your day!

Oh, you are smart! I chose a fool, he behaved like a fool, so now they are all fools!
Is it normal to choose poor?

Of course, at the meeting he presented himself so: "Hello, I’m a fool".
About "A friend is known in trouble" have you never heard of?

I am going to the endocrinologist. I come to the reception: a lady comes out of the office in front of me. by BOOK. Difficult to pull 300 kg. I couldn’t believe my eyes what happened. Then cautiously asked the doctor: hypothyroidism? diabetes? There was hypofysis adenoma. And yes, the diet did not help at all. The lady just got out of the hospital, her month on the water kept (without jokes) no shifts, tests confirm: she does not eat anything, but does not lose a gram. He was sent to a neurosurgeon, did an MRI, found an adenoma.

"You have never been able to communicate tactfully with a cat"

Do you know what their nails are?!" (C) "An Ordinary Miracle"