bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №132359
 19.08.2016
The most touching thing I’ve ever seen in my life: a village sort, toilet paper, and the inscription: “The Only Washable Claw.”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №132358
 19.08.2016
I confirm:

I’m going to go to Zack for two reasons:
1) He was jealous

Don’t take a man who got involved before the wedding. It will not be better.

My first husband and I just divorced because of this, although before the wedding he held the horses. Imagine that you will start afterwards.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №132357
 19.08.2016
She did not work alone, Watson and Crick deserved their prize. The whole department worked, and only the boss received the prize - is it also deserved or how?

In the scientific environment, not the announcement of a fact is valued, but the scientific justification of this fact. Franklin was not involved in the development of the scientific apparatus under this discovery, which took almost 10 years. It is the establishment of the fact in this case that is important. The explanation is secondary. Today one theory, tomorrow another.
The Nobel Prize is not awarded posthumously, such are the rules, by the time she was 4 years dead, but neither Watson nor Crick mentioned her contribution to the common cause. I did not see any mention of Franklin in a single book on DNA during my universe studies. These two comrades are everywhere. By the way, the work of the group of Linus Poling, who came to similar conclusions a little later than Watson-Crik in textbooks were written, but not about Franklin. Why this?
Acceptance of honorary members, the installation of busts and memorial boards began in 1982.Ok, not in the 21st century, but only 30 years after his death. But do you admit that for those 30 years she was forgotten and her contribution ignored?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №132356
 19.08.2016
What experiments did you do as a child?

They burned a cellophane bag on a rod and burning, smelling of fire and slippery drops dropped on a piece of clay, in which the form was pre-pressed with a badge or brochure. There was a plastic copy of the badge. The process was called the "drop".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №132355
 19.08.2016
Discussing Chinese rosettes and extenders

temnimenee: How can I squeeze a fork while holding onto contacts? and :)
SLS: First time hard, I agree
But then you get used to it and everything goes by itself.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №132354
 19.08.2016
It’s a white drunkard, right? This is the same nonsense of the drunk white you are carrying about these most "adjusted" holes.

just dive into the women's forums, almost in every one you will find instructions on how to wrap a man, including to wrap a moustache in the ZAGS, and how to read this men tie condoms and take them with them. There is no nonsense there.
I was a girl and my hair was dusty. Then these same ladies begin to weep on the same forums for the goats who dropped them with a child, or even if they were trapped in a barrel, after a few years they still leave, honestly pay for the maintenance of the child, some are attached to the child and give him a lot of time, but do not like the woman.
Do not want a man in the ZAGS, does not love, you will not be fortunate.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №132353
 19.08.2016
The logic of the users can often be incomprehensible. For a long time I worked in one enterprise, where the secretary was far beyond 50, and she survived on this job more than a dozen directors and owners. The aunt worked in her own way: all the orders on the enterprise, services and other documents she kept in one word file. There were five hundred pages. If something had to be printed out, it deleted everything except the desired pages, and then closed the file without saving the changes. In such a crazy mode, she worked for years until the computer stalled. While Admin was walking, the aunt went somewhere. It comes - on the screen a word file for one sheet. Admin, as a cultural man, saved everything and closed it before repairing the glue with the mail.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №132352
 19.08.2016
The press service of the city council said that the rains and floods were ripped out of the context of the complex improvement of the city and misinterpreted by the inhabitants of the city and journalists.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №132351
 19.08.2016
They need...

I have a good friend, let’s call him Serge. Good in every sense of the word. Despite the fact that he holds a fairly good position (not public), he still remains a simple, kind and responsive person, both with his employees and with other people.

Not far from us there is a large food market in two floors and there for a month was a lottery lottery, for every 200 rubles of purchase was issued one lottery ticket. Half you broke and threw into a special box, the other left with you. The prizes were not exactly what, but the superprizes were a smart TV, a laptop and a mobile phone. That day the lottery results were released and the winning numbers were displayed.

We didn’t go to the live joke – it’s not interesting. We watched our results on the website of the organizers, on the list. I, of course, won nothing, not even a shit wreath got me, but as usual) I am not surprised. And Serega one ticket "shoot" and of course in the tenth, he won the television. They laughed that this is a lucky guy, the television doesn’t really need him. Why is it 32 inches when the movie theater is full? But fortune considered that Serege still needed a TV, and you can't argue with her.

I decided to go to this store to get a cognac to wash luck. At the entrance they also displayed a stand with a list of winning numbers. They got out of the store and stood up smoking, and next to the stand was a middle-aged woman with two children. Clothes are not to be very poor, but it can be seen that they have a wealth below the average. She put a bag next to her, she has ten tickets in her hands, she thoughtfully shakes her lips and checks the numbers. The children are quietly standing and not breathing watching her. We hear the boy very quietly, as if he is afraid to scare luck with his lips:

Mother of the TV? See also.

The woman looked at the child, but said nothing. In the other hand, her daughter pulled her sleeves:

Didn’t you win? Can we buy something ourselves? Look at again.

The woman looked at the numbers, on the stand and nodded her head negatively. I see Seregah approached them so closely and through his shoulder as if he was staring at the stand. I think he has nothing to do? I have already checked everything. He looked at her and then turned to the woman with a smile:

Was not lucky? The phone wanted the kids, probably – and flashes them.

The woman smiles:

Everyone is asking for television. Our old has broken. I won’t buy it, her smile was sad.

Multiple to watch. Mom at work until night, at home alone bored, - the children spoke, alive, but not fun.

It’s okay to be sad! Serenity – Everything happens in life.

Suddenly he points to the bag:

You have a ticket in your bag, and it may have fallen. Checked it out? Maybe he is your happy one? To the kids, good luck! He took me under the elbow and whispered, “Go.”

We walked away a few steps, as we heard from behind, across the street, the piercing whisper of joy of the children. I looked at Sergei:

“They need more,” he smiled and we, without speaking, added a step.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №132350
 19.08.2016
- Do you know why in the massive forest fires in Russia, officials send planes to extinguish forests in Europe?
They are afraid that their villas will burn.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №132349
 19.08.2016
Yes, most women will give up science if you offer her a cellar, barbecue, yard and garden!! to

// is
and smell there every day without a weekend from morning to evening for fifty years in a row? I did not give up on such happiness.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №132348
 19.08.2016
The troll is the same terrorist. You cannot negotiate with him.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №132347
 19.08.2016
It is over, I am leaving you!
Dear brother, stand still! Please give me a snack!
Maybe a chance?
– Snaps

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №132346
 19.08.2016
The apophagia came when she gave me her headphones, because I took them in my hands and put them on the table from the box. Apparently after that she’s crazy.

Remove all her clothes. and clothes.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №132345
 19.08.2016
From Habr, discuss the replacement of Devices by Guarantor:
aquamakc: The familiar set of key + mouse logistics changed. The key is dead, the key is dead. There is no store. Contact the logistics. They say - such kits are not produced, we can replace it with a new one - for this send us a photo, on which you are destroying the existing set. The acquaintance armed with a hammer from the soul, I took all this on a photo. The photos were sent, a new set came in a couple of weeks.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №132344
 19.08.2016
Then I went to work in a commercial company. And there, yes, from managers, whose responsibility is to talk to the client and make an order, I listened to stories on the break that the babies are stupid, that wherever they work, they go to work.

And nothing surprising. Men, in order to be meaningful, hire assistants according to the criterion of the foot-sust. They can’t even answer the phone call clearly. But a short shirt pleases the eye and increases the tone. You will decide what is more important in a girl - intelligence and intelligence or a smooth knee.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №132343
 19.08.2016
Speaking of principled teachers. For a long time they could not understand by what principle the economist of some miserably falled on the exam, and others put 4 and 5 for health. Everyone took over - in terms of success not even near, clothes, no way. There were different theories.
I accidentally guessed.
In the dining room. He is a humble and orderly man. There were those who, entering the dining room, immediately occupied the free seats with their things and went in line to distribute.
Probably one day I did not find a free place, coming out with a full cover.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №132342
 19.08.2016
xxx: today the five-year-old daughter of the employee joyfully told how she was playing in my mom's room with her eyebrows, beads and toys from the box under the mirror - fur bracelets and a rubber cucumbers with a motorcycle

I then told my mom in private that the box with my toys should be kept at least on an anthrax.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №132341
 19.08.2016
Well, I’m not a poor man, I earn twice as much as my future husband. And I’m going to go to Zack for two reasons:
1) Fucked his jealousy, being basically nothing to me, just a fuck. But at the same time, don't communicate with men, go with friends, don't walk alone, don't dress beautifully, etc. (I do it all in my own way, but it’s angry.) From the husband such throwbacks are still tolerable, but from the shit from the mountain? First prove that you consider your wife yours, marry her, wear a ring that you are already busy, and then throw off the pants.
2) I have the opportunity to obtain citizenship in another country, if we are unmarried, then its legalization there becomes a big problem.
Without the above two reasons, my marriage was not broken.

///
In fact, the convicted guys have a similar motivation. But also to you the question, if he allows such bribes now, and you in full uniform, why do you pull such a man into the ZAGS?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №132340
 19.08.2016
We have a guy at work like that. The programmer works. They are always dressed and the image changes frequently. That romantic winnow with long wave hair, in a white blouse and black leather pants, then with a shortened haircut and in glasses, in a fabric shirt a real hipster, it is even more interesting. I approach him somehow.
and Lecha! - and this is not Lecha, it is Kolya... And in general, they have a terrible flow in the department, students gain experience...

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