Button: Go to the city? I am the first. by Almatý
[17:03:45] Seter17: Itik-Küel, the fool
[17:03:56] Button: loool)))

An advertisement of a sushi bar on the wall of the stadium of Angarsk: Sushi eaten and eaten, and Kuril will not give! )

And once we talked about the names, then not for the sake of the red word, the real situation: we work in the team (attention!) Quality Control Engineer Vagin. Such a good man, by the way. He always smiles and jokes.

Those who do business in the shade are more likely to warm up under the tropical sun.

A tribe of angels, for whom even the word fool is unacceptable, burned on September 3.
Remember the anecdote, when Vovochka comes from school on September 1 and, throwing the backpack in the corner, asks the parents:
“I didn’t understand... And... why didn’t anyone warn me that this hyunja would stretch for 10 years?! to

The wolf was a wise man – he passed through the whole situation on the first day. And our child faithfully believed that it was so festive everything and will be forever, or rather, until the institute.
So, on the 2nd, she came home in cuddles and became a princess-princess. And most importantly - very happy with her entry into a new after kindergarten "adult" life. Shrinking from enthusiasm, it was like a tractor Belarus and day and evening, and if we did not put the fairy tales, then the night.

But, as they say, day by day does not happen. Our Anjuta the next day "traced" out of school not in such a rainbow mood. No, not at all happy. Leaving the backpack in the hallway, she quietly washed her pants, and quietly sat down at the kitchen table without even changing clothes.
What happened? - the mother worsened (+ a lot of questions about who hurt, about the stomach, etc.) is
Nothing happened. Just bad everything... - swirling with his legs, the child slowly reacted.
...??? to
“You know, Mom, I liked school.
“Why, Nushchek, you were so excited yesterday?
“Yesterday was Euphoria, and today came reality... Right, Lera of the 2nd grade said at the change that it was all complete HERR. I don’t really know what that is, but I agree.

As the whole family fell into stupor, for two minutes there was silence.
And the child, scrolling something in his head, smiled, jumped off the chair and went to the room to change clothes with the question:
Do you remember telling me that you could finish school a few years earlier? Eastern seems to be. Can you explain in detail how this is?

PS: Welcome to adult life.

The money for modernization and informatization of education went cat under the tail. This was explained graphically by the president at a meeting with first-class students.

shaser: :) hi.. queries in Google from an employee on a tablet: "Buy a car up to 200 000" "Buy a cheap good car" "Very cheap car, not a grant" "Dating Club"
Chaser: There is no way out

My nephew went to first class. His parents asked about the first week.
Dad: Well, son, how are you studying?
I think this school should be blown up!
Don’t say that in school.
Dad (not breaking away from the newspaper): Yes, son, just blow it up without saying anything.

by Anton Shilyaev:
Funny stories happen in Warsaw. I walked around the city today, I crossed the street, I watched a car stunned. A blond woman in her 30s. Trying to get – no. She is almost in tears, behind her a traffic jamming, everybody quarrels. I think I will go further, but then remembered how I was helped myself in such situations. I approached her, I look at the nearby stop, I think I drive the car there, good 3 golf. I explain to her – drive to stop. She looks at me with blinking eyes - what is this eastern barbar going to do with my car?) I start pushing, she is generally in horror, the drivers around also do not understand what is happening. A little later they understood began to signal, said a good man. I pushed her to stop, I think okay, I’ll go. She jumps out - barzoo daykyu and so on. I ask what happened, she is half crying and half talking a lot. Eventually I realized that there was a problem with the battery. I speak to her in broken Russian, Polish and English, so that she can call her friends and get rid of her. She didn’t understand what it meant to be dirty. What could be pushed from behind, she also did not perceive. I tell you to open the cap. She is in horror again. I open myself. I see the clemma all oxidized and barely holds. He cleansed the clamp, put the spark, swallowed his fingers as much as he could. I say factories. went on. He looks at me with completely shaken eyes. I asked, are you a mechanic? Answered - I am a teacher from Belarus)))) I wonder what now about us will be the bikes to go...

By the age of 30, nothing so refreshes the memories of turbulent youth and alcohol marathons as the unique taste of undrunk Coca-Cola, lying in the refrigerator a day or two. Every time such a thing happens, it seems – I will turn on the TV, and there – Yeltsin, Monica, Shura...

Indicators of toilet occupation.

111: Imho is excessive. You ate there...why? It is enough to check the hole at the top of the door so that the burning light can see what is occupied.

222: only do not forget to close the hole with a glass, or will pull out of the sort through the hole, if few people have failed to have breakfast.

333: Just so I see a laurel laying a glass. Scotch and all the affairs :))) The door is a bar. In the army sort, even without light, you can see where it is occupied.

XXX: What is it? How do you feel about your Italian macho?
WOW: Yes as usual. No day without fun... yesterday night, we lie next to it, well it all goes... he slowly clothes me and whispers gently: *you are so beautiful... I have never seen anything so beautiful *... well I naturally lie down, everything has been separated... and then he continues after a second of silence: * this is despite the fact that I saw Kaka playing for Milan... *
Tagged: ahahahahahahahah
WOW: He later justified that he said this only because I was watching football...I had to evaluate all the power of the comparison)

From comments on Habr (post on the shops of the future):

Serviced 1. I saw the product in special glasses.
2nd Glasses found the product, its minimum cost.
Three You say to the glasses, “Buy it!”
4 is Points on the stock market for a few minutes/hours/days earn the desired amount.
5 is The glasses are ordered with delivery at home.
6 is The Russian post in a few days through the ocean delivers the package.

Schroeder, item number 6 of pure water fantasy

Servecon, I can’t tell you.

1: And I thought why this sound in Skype is constantly delayed! And it turned out!
2: the opposite. When you are listened to, the quality of communication is amazing.
1 is e. To improve the quality of communication on Skype, it is enough to say “kill Obama” during a conversation.
2: You can quickly ask about the cost of shelters in Boston...
1: Oh, like the hub started loading faster.

and Friday.

Wife: Clive, Clive Today is cleaning!! to
I: Oh God...
Who I married...

Few people know that the territory of the Chelyabinsk and Kurgan regions runs a river called Wu, and there are also many places where roads cross the above-described river. Attention to question. How many road signs with the name of this river are not attributed to the letter "X";

Added advice:
"xxx: If you have sex for music, you need to take recordings from performances. Applause every few minutes"

Exodus – Shovel Headed Tour Machine Live. At the moment when Rob Duke shows the fact to the crowd, and this eighty-thousand crowd in response rhythmically screams: "FUCK! Fuck it! Fuck it! Fuck it! You will feel like an alpha thief.

Oh, young people, what do you know about epicfield... I am 40 years old, working as a co-owner of a law firm, a small one. I go to my parents for the holiday. My brother is a little farmer, and in the evening for a cup of tea, my father asks from morning to work a little for the benefit of the farm, because the staff tractorist jumps in the morning to the wife, who gave birth on the day, and the park and plant someone... Since we started together, I know the technique, and I remember the handcuffs, I naturally answer that the question of the papa, I change, in addition, after this, the shawl and all the business... In short, at 6 a.m., having taken a shake in the hands with beer, I stumbled in the field. Everything was normal, but whether my legal ass turned away from such extreme overloads, whether the trussels were caught by the Chinese, but by 10 o'clock the ass was like a babouin's ass. Who knows, he will understand, bakes like pepper, to tears. tk. The place is deaf / there is no road as such / I swallow from the tracto / ti / r on the semi-inclined, I remove shorts with trussels and put a much-suffering ass on the wind. and caffe. Tears from the eyes. Diesel tarachtites, the wind of the causandals rolls, super, until the stealthy voice of the beat from behind asks "Son, are you waiting for someone?". The most rotting was a small snooker, which, fuckingly, could not get out of the car for five minutes.

Jan May:
(A call to the door)
Hi to you! Do you believe in God?

Their reaction?

by Noobster:
“I believe in myself, but do you believe in me?” says 90% of preachers.

The key:
“Go on the hook!” and the closed door sweeps away 100% of the preachers.

xxx: I inserted new batteries in the wireless bell on the door yesterday. The phone in my absence silenced and ringed continuously. And my cats are used to meeting everyone and immediately run to the door as they hear the bell.
xxx: Shortly, when I came, the cats were laying in a layer and could only blink at the time of the phone call.
No one has ever seen the cats XD