Basically educational:

_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I bought a pastry. I tasted good on the bread, I stood crumbling. The wife comes and decides to feed the cat. She put it in a bowl... She looks at the cat and suddenly begins to roast.
Look at it! He buried him in a bowl. The fucking taste!
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Cats will instinctively bury not only shit, but also delicious food, if they are not hungry, in order to return and feed.

She: I received a letter from a potential employer: "Good morning! I need a corrector, how can I contact you?" I get such requests often, but!
The title of the letter is "Why a drinking girl is the perfect girl".

Remember to! It must be warm in summer!
________________
The heat does not owe anyone anything. But you can move to places where the climate is warmer. Of the many cryers I know, only one has done so. Now he’s 35 and he’s fine. I’m there at +20, and I’m fine here. Keep eating your cactus.

xx:blin, and I chattarzh, take the telephone:"twv on the wire" and start sending my husband to bustle))
there are really guys, we don't let him go to the fountains and even feed him for dinner, and bring him home, let the electricity go))))
xx: so what should I tell them?
yy: the cape)))
xx:they could not celebrate the second, there was no type in the city, and now a bunch of cute friendly bugs under two meters of height begs me, well, please)) And I have a good soul)))
Yy: And these people provide half-city with a torrent...

Many people don’t like silence because they’re left alone with their thoughts.

The story is not funny, but socially informative.
It is known that in our country observe the PDT say so BRAZDO LESS than 100%...
I go on track. Quite often I am overtaken with violation of the speed mode (110-150 km / h with permitted 90 and unpunished 109 km / h). At the same time, the road has many closed, and therefore very dangerous turns... But this does not stop anyone...
and here. There is a long procession in the village. And as you know from superstitions - to go ahead of the dead is harmful to karma. The cars were built into a column for several hundred meters. And no one, I emphasize, no one of his... car, did not go to the outskirts, neither by the side, nor by the encounter.
100% respect for superstition!! to
Thus e. The arguments, restrictions and prohibitions of the Rules of Traffic on people almost do not work, and the arguments of SUBVERY are irresistible.
Instead of the Road Traffic Rules (PDR), I propose to distribute and implement the SDD (Sovereign Traffic Rules).
For example:
If you walk on the red, the light will glow you.
If you walk by the side, the member will not stand.
- exceed the speed mode - the camera will spoil you and you will get sick, etc.
You can announce a competition for creative people for articles in these SDDs, then publish a multi-million-dollar edition and distribute, starting with auto schools.

The most dangerous road warning sign: “Attention! The inspector took the mortgage!

The wife calls:
They are 3 years old in the store. While the wife turned away, the little girl grabbed a bottle of vodka and cried out to the whole store: "Mom, let's buy my dad this water!"

The child on the question about the birthday cake, obviously very embarrassed, issued - "fake cake".
After asking how and why, it became clear that it was actually about the cake of Zacher, and the child did not decide to speak out loudly.

I’t feed them with foods of unknown origin that may be made in unhealthy conditions or worn out at all.
*** by
If the sanctions are lifted tomorrow, this same food will instantly become delicious and useful.

> with ski sticks in their hands (like walking on ski but on foot)
Google "The Scandinavian Walking" And the sticks are not skiing.
Lower illiteracy

Scientists have recorded a signal from the planet Gliese 581d. They are cyclical and there is a probability that they come from intelligent beings.

This is how the universe disaster films begin.

I met a guy with his parents.
Who are you in the sign of the zodiac?
Surprisingly, the twins...
Mother (disappointed): haha
Guys (attentive) what is it?
Father (with the grotesque mine of utter disgust): You know, it immediately became so unpleasant.

<Phil> AndKiry, to say "go to Paphai" is not a violation?
<AndKiry> Yes, apparently no
Any material posted here must be safe for viewing in a public place (such as at school or at work) and acceptable for children to view.
<AndKiry> "Children" will not understand the phrase anyway. And if they understand, then there is nothing to hurt anymore.

xxx: news on the yandex "the Russian football team has a new coach" taken into the brain as "orphaned kittens have found new parents".

About the translations:
At the dawn of StarCraft, I had a Russification (I don’t even know whose one), in which the shuttles were called Ashes, the Zylots were rats, well, etc.

One day at the Soldier’s Bazaar, the sanitary officers dropped four sausages from a pot and poured them with pudding pudding because it was very watery, though quite fresh. There were hunters to eat this sausage; I tried, but could not, the smell and taste of petroleum suffocated me.
by Alexander Green.

My girlfriend told me. Her husband gives her fun pearls in a dream. And then he fell asleep, she comes, prepares to sleep... The husband with his eyes closed floats in a smile:
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

The Hobbit is back in the movies for adults. The association MPAA awarded the home version of the "Battle of the Five Armies" rating R for "any kind of violence", that is, children under the age of 17 are allowed to go on it only accompanied by parents.

Xxx: Naked elves riding on naked dwarves!

yyy: Under R hit the scene of the Tolkien book raped by producers

Crowe: I am with my parents.
Are you singing there?
This is not the song.
The Cable: Cable
by Fiera :)
I am about food! Do you eat dinner with them?