bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №86065
 25.08.2013
X: My dreams are brilliant: when travelling between stars, you have to put fish in your mouth so that oil does not get into your mouth when you arrive on another planet.
Y: Do not listen to Aguzarov for the night anymore.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №86064
 25.08.2013
Listen, and bring me your photo!
M: Something did not find his fresh photo, sent a photo of his cat.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №86063
 25.08.2013
This is:
XXX: Buy a few cartridges. And start connecting them to the comp with Windows until the letters are finished. See how she behaves.
yyy: You, the testers, have such a shell in your ass that even on vacation prevents you from living quietly %)

This man is now called the tester??? For it is offensive (as a simple encycler)...
The new drive will just need to be mounted as a "empty NTFS folder" (in Disk Management. You find? About the same action from the command line you still early to know, it seems.)
P.S To occupy all the letters, create the "temp" folder on disk C:
In the command line, type "FOR %d IN (d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z) DO IF NOT EXIST %d:\ SUBST %d: %systemdrive%\temp"
Voila - all the letters are occupied - play as much as you can, citizen "tester", until the card reader has spent. Better a beer for manuals drink in the holidays.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №86062
 25.08.2013
<ALECS> greetings to everyone!!!! Help me find the course!!! to
<Angelofnet> ALECS: And where did you lose it?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №86061
 25.08.2013
here here :

A man comes into the store and says.
I am from Rusalko.
Yes it happens.
- Fuck me from the Russian Alcohol company, show me the vitrines!! to

When I was a student, I worked as a salesman in a supermarket. And here, on my first day at work, when nothing seemed to predict trouble, a aunt approached me and said:
I am a snowman. Has my goods arrived?
I answered, say, a minute, now I will clarify. And she went to scare all the sellers with the message that there was some Snowmen there, and she wondered if her goods had arrived. However, no one could understand what Snowden was and what kind of goods she needed. I went back to her to find out what she needed, and it turned out that she was a sales representative of the company, and she was interested in the canned vegetables of this brand.

[ + 41 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86060
 25.08.2013
I recently wrote about "Drinking Water". So, the jokes are jokes, but there is a real site that offers to download the disc... "radiation medicine"! Naturally not for free. That is, you go to the site, choose, for example, activated charcoal, insert a clean cloth and type "radiation" loads on it! Then we take out this bowl and put a bowl of water on it. Water for a while "Loaded" and - profit! Instead of water, you have the "drug" you need! This is indeed the inexhaustible fantasy of our people in the case of "almost legal" ways to withdraw money from the population!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №86059
 25.08.2013
Why are you so nervous in Russia? In our country, people walk quietly behind the training car, behind the bus. They don’t run out, they don’t run out, they don’t try to risk their lives. Always wait for a man to panic. You will always miss if you need to cross the crossroads to the left. Regardless of the car price.
What’s wrong with you, right?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №86058
 25.08.2013
Guild, Woo was off-line for almost a week.

HH: Where did it go?
I was offended by Inet...
The shield?! to
I explained to my girlfriend the OSI model (model of interaction of network applications), describing each step on the example of Russian mail.
ууу: After half an hour, not to endure bullying with such blasphemous comparisons, inet cut off in the entire quarter for 5 days:(

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86057
 25.08.2013
Sweats... Sweats...
Maybe people just don’t live in their time zone.

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86056
 25.08.2013
My thought hit my head. At the filming of The Hobbit, everyone complained about the overly clear image (48 frames per second), saying that it looks too real. You can use up to 60 frames per second.
And if this effect of “reality” is used for the shooting of the film about the Amber Kingdom. "The Chronicles of Amber" of Roger Iron. The same it.
24 frames per second - a dull shadow (our world for example)
48 frames per second - the kingdom itself
60 frames per second is the primary path where the sense of reality is stumbling.

Here would be some new Peter Jackson to find, who will make these films with love and skill. There are 10 books plus 3 prequels. Money would be earned inexorably.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №86055
 25.08.2013
>>> Man scratching his teeth: - STOP!

And he himself was born with the rights in the ass and from childhood he was able to drive a car.
:D

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №86054
 25.08.2013
A large store of goods. I buy a garbage pad and a brush with it. All plastic, including the brush, elementary design, is worth a penny. Nearby, a gray man of a strong retirement age clings to the seller with the question: "Do they electrify?"The seller answers politely but pronouncedly, the present swing their fingers at the whisker, I hardly hold back the wild rust.
Only a month later, when it was necessary to replace fine dust after drilling a hole in concrete, I realized how bad it was to laugh at people with a rich life experience.

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №86053
 25.08.2013
Sitting, watching videos from the reviews of the video recorders. I waited unwittingly for somebody to get caught up.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №86052
 25.08.2013
>>>>

and ZZZ:
I remember coming to my grandmother on vacation, my neighbor was there, at the time he was four years old. He got to the lights and hid in the senoval so that they didn’t burn him. I’ve never seen a grandmother run so fast for 70 years. There was a fair show from the other end of the village.

>>>>

Hm... I had this case as a child too... with me... and at the same age... I remember it from firefighters.
Did this happen in the Omsk region?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №86051
 25.08.2013
Only when you start to use your time properly, you realize how much it has been wasted before.

[ + 57 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86050
 25.08.2013
No one is insured from stupidity or old-age marasma.
A bank employee told me.
She came to them madam of deep retirement age and stated that she would file for them in court.
It turns out, after hearing in the media about the abductions from plastic cards, she didn’t come up with anything better than to make a hole in the corner of the card and put a strong thread into it. You wear your medal on your chest. Everything would be nothing, but she decided to get the money without taking it off her neck. The ATM pulled her card, and the grandmother stepped her nose into the screen. The keyboard is not visible, I entered the PIN code. The first attempt... - the code is wrong, the second attempt... - the same. The line at the ATM offers help and asks to name the PIN code out loud. But not! “Don’t tell anyone...not even a bank employee! I am myself!” The third attempt failed again. And when this happens, in the ATM such a card is pulled even deeper into a separate compartment. She began to press her neck. Nite is strong. Those around them have no scissors, no knife... Fortunately, one man was not confused and burned the thread with a fireplace.
At the bank, he was charged with attempted murder.
The curtain.

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86049
 25.08.2013
It is very easy to distinguish an idiot from a normal person.
The idiot has more videos on Instagram than photos.
Normal people don’t have Instagram at all.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №86048
 25.08.2013
Son wants to sleep. My eyes are closed and my plans are Napoleonic.

Snow: Go to bed! Napoleon ended badly.
In other words, he has a bad association with your name.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №86047
 25.08.2013
I play a shooter with thriller elements. I walk through the corridor and hear two enemies discussing the found body:
Was he killed by the soldiers?
I doubt it. This is not a bullet wound.
I shoot both of them and look at the injury. It turns out that the body has no head. The MDA. It seems that Captain Evidence will no longer be promoted in the rank.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86046
 25.08.2013
Here are the times when to watch a five-second video on YouTube you have to watch a twenty-second advertising video... :(

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna