bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №131439
 29.07.2016
A friend in the country has a non-hero such a tank on the roof of the building to the house. The wording he said put it: "This is, eye, mla, a non-stopper for water!"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №131438
 29.07.2016
The flesh is wretched, but the spirit is wretched.
The Spirit is forgotten, but the flesh is forgotten.
There is no harmony or balance.
The wings are swallowed, the cows are swallowed.

by Igor Guberman

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №131437
 29.07.2016
from news
A 25-year-old British man has lost 82 kilograms and is now raising money for surgery to get rid of excess skin hanging from his body
Commentary: Yepta, it is not necessary for him to remove this excess leather..it must be properly sewn in the right places and there will be a lot of convenient, small and large pockets throughout the body.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №131436
 29.07.2016
Free upgrade to Windows 10 expires today

xxx: A rare case where a lot of people will be glad to have canceled something free of charge.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №131435
 29.07.2016
It looks like:
Hmm to:

According to the lady, she agreed to eat shashchik with the migrants. The picnic was accompanied by drinking alcohol and ended in a group rape. After attacking the guest, the assailants fled without stealing anything.
Attention the question!
Who is to blame in this situation?

The rapists? Yes the rapists. Could someone else be to blame?

At first I thought of the shashiki, but it seemed to be rapists.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №131434
 29.07.2016
The Internet was stolen:
A statue of David was placed in Peter's Kyrocke Square. And then one retiree appealed to the Child Rights Commissioner in St. Petersburg.
- How could you put this man without a gate in the center of St. Petersburg, near the school and church? This giant will wreak the souls of children! - called the indifferent woman to the consciousness of the commissioner.
The organizers of the exhibition from sin away decided to dress David cowards. The fundraising is already open.

I do not agree.
Wear the cowards.


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №131433
 29.07.2016
Even if he says “yes” first, and then when he suddenly shares a sharp “no” – do not lead to sin, stop! Sometimes women don’t know what they want, and you have to sit there.! to
— — —
Back from life again. I’m already fully dressed... I’m a coney, she’s going through me (well not to the end, but so that with the continuation).. I wear a condom, and then she screams “no” and runs away to another room. I followed her, she got stuck and just cried "no need".. And I am next to me, with a rubber on a "weapon placed in combat mode", I reassured by chewing on her hair "do not be afraid, I will not rape, you don’t want to do well"..

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №131432
 29.07.2016
There was a legend that somewhere far away lives a small quiet man who gathers all the sad tears, makes them stars and hangs onto the sky. And when the cause of sorrow disappears, a star falls so that someone on Earth can make a wish for happiness.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №131431
 29.07.2016
The Jew:

For me, as a Jew, it is difficult to say who I hate more, Hitler or the inventor of the bottle throat for ketchup bags.

Has hatred to be? Is it she does not give the opportunity to take the scissors and cut off the corner with the throat, or simple ways to your mentality do not fit?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №131430
 29.07.2016
Why do we have an accountant?
Here is a system setup:
Dear body, beautiful, the proportions there are good, everything looks perfect.
Sound with good buffers.
And inside the other type of cellar, office, difficult tasks are not capable.
Memories are lustful, hard will put small containers.
And it turns out to be a beautiful but almost useless office machine.
A fairly accurate description.)
© Flamberg

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №131429
 29.07.2016
About the Mac Auto. We move slowly in line and, as often as it happens, a beggar comes in. We drop the glasses, she sadly asks us to buy a pie or give us money. Today is her birthday. We regretted her and gave her a couch. The next day we get in the same place, she goes in and tells us the same thing, including her birthday! Your husband is calm: Did you have a birthday yesterday? She is very upset: you eat here every day?! to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №131428
 29.07.2016
Since recently, the four-year-old son has been preferring to read a book for him at night, not me, but his older sister - her 13.

Well, I’m just happy... She read until eight in the evening, then when the second was born and grown up two read. Sometimes everyone in turn. He told them more stories than an adult.

I read loudly without exaggeration – I would like the audio books to sound – with intonation, in the faces, with pauses in the right places, with the right emphasis... And she reads smoothly and without expression. He is constantly mistaken. My son prefers her.

Last night, after a long reading, the daughter comes out tortured and goes to wash. I decided to praise her and encourage her, “You’re so good, dear. Danny prefers to listen to you rather than me. You are reading great!”

She stopped and looked at me as an adult with sad eyes. And she said in a tone that they say to a non-sensitive child: "I know that I read badly, where you are worse. And you really don’t understand why he likes listening to me and not you?” - I wrapped my head confused - "Yes, for all the 12 years that I am reading books to him now, I have never read it to the end! You always fall asleep before us. You never know how the story will end.”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №131427
 29.07.2016
xxx: 34 hours in the bowling single player of the bowling DOOM'a. All for the sake of achievements and trials, their mother!
YYY: I am a year of pro**al for almost one paper
XXX: Under the name of a military ticket? There is also coop, mmo, an expanded rpg system, a conditionally open world and all the other stuff.
yyy: Simulator of Lamb, Bobra, Stone and Minecraft

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №131426
 29.07.2016
I decided to lead a healthy lifestyle. I will drive to work through the sockets on the big, on the turbine to pull up in the park, to squeeze out, to slip there all sorts of!



The first day we arrived at a beautifully equipped venue. I was able to stretch up 1 time, pull off 5, on the brushes 3. The people on the pitch stumbled on me in the open. He is fat and not sporty.



Day two - I found a small site on a distant path - a turnik, a bush, a bench. And the people of zero, I will not be embarrassed. I pulled up, broke up. Talking about progress is too early.



Day three - I reached the site of his unnoticed, and there a girl is sitting on the bench. The runner is resting. Whole, but cute - I stumbled on her - to be ashamed of 1 pulling even in front of one person is not hunting. I started doing a kind of hiccups. 10 minutes and it doesn’t go away.



I picked up my bicycle and went on. She is me:

Do not be ashamed. I saw you on Monday as you were embarrassed that nothing went well. I just had a hard time “running up” here. No more strength. And to crawl where these crawling Zohevs will jump, I am ashamed.



And I went on my one lifting.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №131425
 29.07.2016
A drunk man rescued from the river again fell into the river and drowned.

C is purpose.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №131424
 29.07.2016
xxx: I thought it was a bombzih someone is going, and she sat down in the lexus and left...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №131423
 29.07.2016
Talk to Rabinovich. Rabinovich will explain it.

With which Rabinovich?

XXX with anybody.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №131422
 29.07.2016
The night dialogues.
What are you doing?
I eat again.
and what?
Butter with soup. Take the bread, squeeze it with soup.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №131421
 29.07.2016
///
This dangerous Western chemical invented by the CIA.
///

Don’t fool the CIA, they’t be brave enough. Dihydrogen monoxide was personally created by Satan.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №131420
 29.07.2016
I approach the entrance. A company of children, one boy is crying, holding his wrapped hand. An angry grandmother asks them:
Why is he crying?
He has fallen.
He looks at the bandage on his hand.
When did he fall?
and yesterday.
Why is he crying now?
And he fell again.

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