I come home in the evening, the cat in the dishes has the remnants of manna cabbage, sliced cabbage, melon... I try to explain to my mommy that the house is not a goat, but a predator, everything is unsuccessful, she also asks for everything and eats well.
I am afraid that convincing the cat itself that she is a predator, and not a herbivorous lover of cabbage and fresh cucumbers, is absolutely impossible.

I have been using the Internet for five years according to the following scheme: linux -> Red-Browser -> delete everything when you go napig + Adblock and so on.

Here it was necessary to test the project in the conditions: visible -> all-around browsers, and even the Internet Sports...

Fear and horror!! Give me my pink glasses! I want to go back to my dear censored internet, without a bunch of advertisements and influential sands!!! to

The Optimist:

An alternative to the realization of the characteristic of each individual male sex, even to the most final stroke, placed in the subconscious by the evolution of the warrior’s instinct. Crushing monsters on the screen is fine. Weapons ( not combat) on the walls are hanged - even better =) And combat in the safe is locked - generally great.
If there is trouble, who will protect you, foolish foolish? The eye-catching intelligent who, with the spirit of half an hour, gathers to catch the flies? Or a sofa football fan with a beer bowl proudly lying on his knees? Those who spend time in battles, even virtual, are much less likely to get lost in a critical situation.

If he did not hold anything heavier than a mouse in his hands, strategically he may be somewhat more subdued, but he is practically the third rich in the company of the above-mentioned.

Where is my pension? Has she drowned? What do you do with your pension when you are in Ukraine? Listen, the dogs are frozen!

Hrapunzel: It’s bad to look at the slugs. We watched the cartoon Tarzan (2013) with her daughter, where Jane bites a snake, she faints, Tarzan sucks poison from her shoulder and splashes, and her husband began to watch after the snake, Jane saw Tarzan, fainted, he bit her and splashed:
It was unpleasant, my husband commented.

Knowledge of English, you do not separate there, or you Hermione may well turn into Yomaona some.
Yamaona, Datichona and Isisudana

I pushed 4 wheels from Tiggo in the subway, the worried man asked: what, is it already beginning?

Everyone goes to Russia:
Yanukovych first fled.
Crimea followed him.
Then came the refugees from Donbas.
The Ukrainian army is fleeing to Russia.
I’m even afraid to imagine who’s next :facepalm:

Chat correspondence at work between a new sysadmin (C) and a colleague from the procurement department, a drink lover (Z)
A: The new workplace needs to be washed up;)
C: I don’t drink
J: How is it? Siss admin, and you don’t drink?
C: The AGA
Q: Is it encoded?and :)
C is no. I just woke up in Krasnoyarsk.
G: Given that we are now in Krasnoyarsk, this is normal :)
C: Given the fact that I started drinking in Mytices, it’s not normal.
A harsh Mytishchynsky Sisadmin, working where he woke up))

kissmyba (10:50 - 4 Aug. by 2014) The mayor of the city of Novosibirsk refuses to agree on the March for Federalization of Siberia to ensure the inviolability of the constitutional system.

kissmyba (3:34 - 5 Aug. by 2014) March “For the inviolability of the constitutional order, in particular for the observance by the state of the principle of federalism”

In my opinion, complaints that in the winter suddenly cold, in the summer unexpectedly hot, in the autumn unpredictably rainy, and in the spring unusually dirty, writes one person.

xxx: I will include the organization of a wow raid for 25 people in the resume!
xxx for the manager.

EVGENIA: Imagine, in the bus uncle accidentally came on the foot, and he then called me blackberry to collect)
I am Peter? =) is
by Evgeny: Oga

by DerArto:
People familiar with the iPhone say: "The iPhone is superb!"
People familiar with Samsung do not say: "Samsung is great!"
They say, “Iphone is shit!”

I wake my 4 year old son:
Baby stand up!
“Daddy, either you turn off the lights and I sleep or I don’t go anywhere.
Damn "miracle of diplomacy" made me! what will happen next??? to

Xxx: the little girl returned from school, says to them the police came
Oh, because of her?! to
No, someone spotted the walls in the toilet with blood
See also: High School
XHHH: the heresy of the present children
Yippidy yi yippity yay Whose blood is it?
XHH is a girl. in the toilet. not stupid

Something I will not understand.
Everyone writes boiling water on the topic "ah, as well, girls are called even those females of a man who have already fucked, shame, the meaning of the word change!!!!11one-one". And add "there is also beautiful state-isconno-slavian-old words "barishna" and "sudaryana", let us do so!!1one". However, the "barish" - a non-married girl (adolescent girl) from the higher ranks, the daughter of the barish (a dictionary), and the "sudaryan" originated from the "statswoman" (the state, respectively, from the "statswoman"), and was an appeal to any adult woman of the higher ranks, regardless of whether she was a girl, married or widow. The highest level! I understand that in the secret pink dreams of everyone there is a motive of origin from the nobility, especially with a surname such as Zolotaryov or Kucherov... But still, in your opinion, to change the meanings of the words "sudaryana" and "sudaryana" can only be so, and a little drop the severity of the word "girlfriend", not to ask for a certificate from a gynecologist before the treatment is a horror-horror.
Sometimes I don’t understand your logic. Often at all.

I will give you a gift,
Do not open it,
Until I close the door.
I will not leave the country.

I don’t remember where:
The chickens go to bed early and get up early.
She goes to bed late and gets up late.
He goes to bed late and gets up early.
A fucking bird.

GROMoff: mind_gap: in ordinary railway trains in the menu "sv. Cucumbers" in the salad for guests from overseas are listed as "St. cucumbers".

The saints, the fools, the cucumbers. The Saints. The Cucumbers.