bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №68933
 24.08.2012
She loved him more than he earned.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68932
 24.08.2012
A recent history from the revolutionary past was posted on the site:
“I answered him, among other things, that I studied at the University of London, where, among other sciences, I studied financial science. Menzhinsky suddenly stood up, stumbled into my eyes and declared categorically: “In this case we will make you the governor of the state bank”... After some time he returned with a paper in which Ilych’s signature certified that I am the governor of the state bank.”

This is not an episode from the everyday life of the house of the minded, but a historical case, told in the Soviet edition.

The author considers the appointment of a person with a financial education, obtained at the University of London, inadequate for the performance of the duties of the bank manager?
Okay, here is the story of very recent times, absolutely not revolutionary.
One person graduated from the Chelyabinsk Medical Institute in 1986. Then he (until 1991) He worked as a therapist in the student clinic of the Chelyabinsk Polytechnic Institute, then moved to the position of deputy chief physician of the Chelyabinsk Metallurgical Combinate Hospital. In one and the same (!) In 1998 he defended two dissertations - a doctoral on the subject "Cosmetic and functional consequences, reactions and complications of the radiation component of breast cancer treatment" and a doctoral on the subject "Changes in quality of life during and after the combined and comprehensive treatment of breast cancer". The fact that the author, first, was never an oncologist and never worked in any oncological institution, moreover, since 1991 he did not work as a doctor, but for one year managed to defend two dissertations on oncology - absolutely not interested in VAK.
The question is, what position was offered to this man by Prime Minister Putin in 2009? Minister of Health? The answer is wrong, in the Ministry of Health was Golikov, an economist. From 2009 to 2012, Dr. Med. Elena Borisovna was Minister of Agriculture in Russia.
"Neither the minister nor three of her five departments have a profile education, as do 11 of the 16 department directors. One department is headed by a retired general-major of the militia, the other is a graduate of Tambov Aviation School. He is a graduate of the Higher School of the KGB of the USSR, who worked in the state security and drug control service for 21 years. But especially impressive is the list of the head of the department of public service and personnel policy Olga Dulepova-Meneyuk: she is a specialist in psychotherapy and surveys using a polygraph.

http://www.newsland.ru/news/detail/id/559455/

You can add that it is one of them. The Minister of Communications had a candidate of medical sciences in our country.

And this is also not "episodes from the life of the mindless", but the real life of our wonderful country.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №68931
 24.08.2012
The former jongler almost led to a heart attack.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №68930
 24.08.2012
xxx: The salary was issued by toll, and also banknotes of 10 hryvnia, packages are decent. I was in the pockets, and the girls had a problem - nobody knew what would happen, the bags were not taken. To the office to return along the corridor, where a bunch of visitors... Marinka:"This is the same setting... You can safely hide in the barbecue and go, and what do I do with my minus first?"Ira:"Hide in the shorts, let them think that you are "the girl" from Thailand";

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №68929
 24.08.2012
Chuck Norris did not understand the movie "The Bell". She was afraid to get out of the well.
Seven days later, he took out a crying, frightened girl and took her to her mother.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №68928
 24.08.2012
Do they want to drive the whole country to the Urals? We are looking for a needle in a bunch of seed... When we searched for this An-2, we found two aircraft that they could not find for several years. This means fruitful work.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №68927
 24.08.2012
(D)wife: I was asked yesterday by the adviser of Gen. Dir if I worked in the modeling business :D
D: We talked very well 😉
I: I guess what he wanted (facepalm)
D: To stay here, no more :)
I: RGG
I: and me if the girls ask in which gym I pumped such muscles, then I immediately understand that sex is provided for me this evening
D: Yes, and it often happens ;)
I: not once in a while
I: Sometimes I have to ask if she did not think about which gym in which I pumped such muscles...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №68926
 24.08.2012
from ZH:
The idea was that in each office with programmers a special department should be established that would be engaged in socialization instead of them: obtain visas, go to Lithuania for toilet paper, go to clinics and other state institutions, monitor that programmers regularly update the wardrobe, centrally drive the wives and children of programmers on vacation and perform other functions necessary for a cultural person, but so stressful for the schizoid brain.
This is an antisocial package.
And programmers would at this time sit and fuck like slaves in galleries.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №68925
 24.08.2012
Mom Shesh: "We did two impossible things during this vacation. My daughter got married and changed the mixer!" I don’t even know what she’s happier about...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №68924
 24.08.2012
What are you, cowboy, eating your cows?
I heard somewhere that goats are dead brain cells. Let them stay in me.
Your brain is actually made up of them, apparently.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68923
 24.08.2012
15:59 *Armshock*: People don’t believe it!Yesterday I went to the hairdresser, I accidentally got a hair on my nose, he noticed it and scratched my nose... and then turned around and said, "No one will believe you anyway...

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68922
 23.08.2012
A programmer sits at the computer at night and suddenly feels a touch from behind. It turns around – his wife stands naked and looks at him.Programmer: – Sorry, sweet, but the computer is busy.
YYY: not true
YYY: We can just be distracted.
YYY: another food

[ + 14 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68921
 23.08.2012
It was strange that they separated...he loved and respected her so much that he didn’t even want to fuck.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68920
 23.08.2012
I found the wrong Chinese proverb:
“It can’t rain all year long, you can’t be poor all your life.”

Yyy: This Chinese man just never lived in Peter. and :)

[ + 33 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68919
 23.08.2012
you think of how to burn the whole world with the miserable mortals and here to mess up the unbound rope, spotting and fucking and into the dirty dirt >_<

Whenever I go home/out of the house, angry at all the white light, and consider epic plans to avenge the boss/dirty neighbor-toptune/mother-in-law from the tram/mayor, so that he/she etc., my eyes stumble upon the inscription on the fence near the building house. There are only two words written in blue:"Do not go out". It helps a lot, you know.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №68918
 23.08.2012
Today I walked with the dog, found a brick under the battery in the room to put.Yesterday there was a thunderstorm, the lightning flashed into our house, the light flashed, on the 9th floor the transmitter burned. Today we go for a walk with the brick and the repairmen came, the driver cries to me - give me a dog to the country? I ask why suddenly? he says, and where do you take her with the brick?

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68917
 23.08.2012
I study with the most amazing girls in the world.

I slept sweetly and saw the tenth dream when I suddenly woke up. from a group. At the half hour of the night. The message began with a wonderful message: “Are you sleeping?” (a wonderful question) and continued with a statement that there is a serious conversation and a request to call back immediately.

I called back.

Honestly, I thought something serious had happened. Or not very serious. At the bad end, I thought, maybe she wants to know the exam tickets or something else in the same spirit.

When she explained that she needed me so much that I didn’t even get angry.

She watched the movie "Red Lights" in the afternoon and didn't understand the end of the film. She wanted me to explain to her.


[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №68916
 23.08.2012
We play rolling.
The crew escapes from the immortal vampire through the forest. Several girls stumble and fall. I hear their scream.
The vampire master stops and with an ordinary voice shouts: "All whole?" and after receiving an affirmative answer already with a vampire voice shouts: "Not long!" and collapses again after us in pursuit.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №68915
 23.08.2012
Rambler's comment on the news about the accident with the idol Timothy:
When Timothy committed the accident, he was not in execution. He did not believe in God at that time. God did not believe in Timothy at that time.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №68914
 23.08.2012
The night. Let us go to sleep. As usual, she slept with us and occupies half the bed.
Wife: Take Veronica to bed.
I : No. I do not tolerate children.

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