bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №101213
 31.07.2014
I want an arbre!
Go and buy.
Wife: I can’t eat it with my daughter’s allergy.
Buy and eat under the blanket.
"The sound of the closing door"

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №101212
 31.07.2014
I have always been a trio in history.
It has been in the club of historical reconstruction for almost 10 years.
But drinking in historical clothes with knights from authentic tanks is a little different than a history exam))

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №101211
 31.07.2014
I have an internship (internship) at an Israeli hospital.
You know, I am now on surgery, today I was put into the operating room. Handles I have are inexperienced, so I usually hold retractors, maximum subcutaneous fat. And today we have taken our heels. He is well over 70 already, the technique is relentless and time-tested, he does not even use a coagulator. So, he let me, foolish, and cut, and fascia sew. The next day, at five minutes, I pleased to stumble, congratulated me on the first hernia and rejoiced that the patient survived) This is what I have to do - now I can honestly boast that I operated the hernia, and I was assisted by a real professor from San Francisco ;-)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №101210
 31.07.2014
Summer is the time when you sit under the air conditioner.
XXX: in the shell
XXX with ice cream
XXX with hot tea

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101209
 31.07.2014
The worst feeling for a programmer is when ten people are around you and everyone is trying to find the cause of the problem in your program, and you already understand what the problem is, but you are afraid to say because it is something crying stupid.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №101208
 31.07.2014
The author of this:

In my childhood I had cats at home. One very loved to catch flies, for him it was a special delicacy (probably in a past life was a Chinese). And here one fly he could not catch at home, it was flying high, a little jumping he understood that it was necessary to take a trick) He tried to chew like a fly, but since he was a cat, I thought that he had a roof and need to do something about it)) But then he showed everything and I understood that he should be rewarded with a snack for ingenuity)"

I beg you to respond! Please specify what and how the cat showed you so you can understand it. I hope he caught that fly. Or did you do it, and did you do it?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №101207
 31.07.2014
worked in college. Someone looks at the IT teacher and transmits a request to the Zavocha to come to her. I go, Zavoch asks to insert the formula in Excel, or something does not count. I open my eyes and say, “Wait, did you ask the IT Teacher to call the BIBLIOTECAR to get you a formula in Excel?” and I get a wonderful answer: “Well, I know you better.”

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101206
 31.07.2014
@almaximal: Chess and mat, atheists! If God does not exist, why do I program like He?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №101205
 31.07.2014
Anyone very clever will be able to tell why women have a pair of pants and one pants.? to

Well I can)
It is a matter of the origin of each of the details of clothing. The socks occurred through some modernization from the socks, which was just a pair. Accordingly, in perception they remained "blinded together by a pair of sweaters. But the lift, he is the lift - the top part of the dress - has always been one.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101204
 31.07.2014
No time for diets? Try one of these super-fast methods: cholera (20 kg), malaria (10 kg), dysentery (10 kg), Ebola fever (15 kg), pneumonia (7-8 kg), and kidney removal (100 g). Lose weight really fast!
Where to Find Cholera
Yyy: this is only if weight loss tours to India
yyy: and depilation in Chernobyl
In India, by the way, you can lose weight with packages.
Cholera + malaria + dengue + dysentery
50 kg as from the bush

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №101203
 31.07.2014
Wake up technical support.

Dialogue with Judas.
Press Start, in the right column Control Panel.
I have nothing there.
Look again in the right column.
There is nothing there. Well, My Computer, Control Panel, Finish work. All, I pressed Finish work.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №101202
 31.07.2014

The Married
The happiest morning for a girl is on her wedding day.
When she wakes up, she knows exactly what to wear!

The Bride
This is not absolute happiness, because it is not yet known if the image of the bridegroom will like, because he did not see neither the dress nor the hair, and suddenly this snow-white dress is swollen? Or it will break!! What if the shower flows? The shoes are like shit!! I hate shoes. What if the bucket is not delivered on time? The cake is not delicious! What then to do?

The Married
Oh god...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101201
 31.07.2014
Lara O_O!
WOW :?
If Ivan leads you to the river, don’t go.
Wow what?! to
XX: Oleg took oxana to the river
And there he fed her.
Animals have not eaten before.
This is a thick bowl"
See also XD XD XD
I hate you.
Hohhhh :*
How evil you are.
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah!
Do you know who we are together?
WOW :?
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
WOW: X"D

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №101200
 31.07.2014
These spermatozoa:

Same there:

This is:
– – – – –
I come to work the next day, a girl, Dasha, is sitting at the entrance.
And I have cakes from the country, the aunt is baked, and cucumbers from the bed...
I am a good man:
Do you want a cake? With an apple?
No to E! I don’t eat meat, thank you.
Well, there are other strawberries. Which of them, with or without pimples?
With all my rottenness, I didn’t immediately assume that I laid down...
--------
ready to bet, Dasha did not even go into a double sense, because for her his
It does not exist yet, and the cucumbers are just cucumbers.
__________________
As if so, only the girl Dashe, who sits at the entrance, can be more than 20 years old. It may not have such double meanings :)

If Dašenke is even 30 and she knows from personal experience what a double penetration is, it is still more likely that a cucumbers for her is just a cucumbers. This kind of childhood has a double meaning everywhere.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №101199
 31.07.2014
When the key is pressed, the car makes cries.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №101198
 31.07.2014
Konstantin: I thought here... if instead of ending any proverb to put the phrase "you can drink a drink", it will still look like popular wisdom.
Work is not a wolf, you can drink water.
You like to ride, you can drink water.
During the day, you can drink water.
You can drink water without fish.
Prepare salad in the summer - you can also drink vodka
You can easily drink water.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №101197
 31.07.2014
A colleague raised the mood this morning.I wanted to tell you that you look good, but I won't tell you. To my question "why?" he replied: "Because lying is not good".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101196
 31.07.2014
TTT: An old man dropped a umbrella in the subway on the way. Called the sergeant, the sergeant called the guard at the station. She came with such a long thing, in an instant handy got me an umbrella. Thank you, I say that in my youth I jumped on the road, and now it has become somewhat steep and inconsistent. The officer replied that it had to be the opposite. In my youth I had to be careful and careful, but now I had to jump.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №101195
 31.07.2014
The gap between drivers and pedestrians can be closed with one phrase: in case of an accident, one will die (or become disabled), and the other will sit. Both were "type right", but both were fucking.

Wouldn’t it be better on both sides to prevent at least YOUR own misfortune, than to put care of YOURSELF on the shoulders of others?

All good, OGBDDD DPS, inspector of the group of investigation.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №101194
 31.07.2014
They took the cat.In the darkness, the bottle with the fantasy was swallowed.

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