bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106894
 16.12.2014
Regarding the reasons for the appearance of cholesterol in vegetable oil - not all mice can be caught from the original raw material.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106893
 16.12.2014
You have seven days left!
Thank you very much, good fairy! The doctor said there were only three.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №106892
 16.12.2014
to this
-------
I had several women who gave up to this process with immense pleasure, and one even experienced orgasm. And not once.
-------
I admire such women. They are literally divorced. Most importantly, he sincerely believes and also sets an example for others.

An anecdote in the run.
Chapayev returns from a trip to England. He goes all out of the needle, in a limousine, in his hands a ring with diamonds. Full luggage of money. Carriers carry a lot of suitcases.
Peter asked him surprised:
– Vasily Ivanovich, where do you get all this from?
“Yes, Petka, I won the cards.
How is it?
I go to the club. Everyone sits there, drinks, and plays cards. Look at it, it is cut in point! I sat down at the table and took the cards. I have 18. My English counterpart says 20. I said to him: "Show me!" And he said to me: "We, gentlemen, believe in the word". Here I am like a pearl, like a pearl.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106891
 16.12.2014
Boris: I watched the fall of the ruble all day. He felt like a Brazilian fan during a football match against Germany.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106890
 16.12.2014
I went to the club on Saturday and got rid of the cleaner. The grandmother’s shortcut.
We go down to the toilet, she follows us.In the toilet engine. .who powdered, who chested, who in need...Baby stood up in the middle and cried:"And the leap of time?"His girls greet-:"1-10"..
The grandmother answers:"I haven’t been squeezed, and that I haven’t been squeezed yet?
The Curtain

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106889
 16.12.2014
Roskomnadzor and Rospotrebnadzor are two classes inherited from Rosabstraktnadzor, all methods of which are destructors.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106888
 16.12.2014
In our childhood stereo pictures were - plastic such a labyrinth by the type of binoculars, inside is inserted a cardboard with two cameras - stereo. You look in the glasses and see a large photo of a tree tree, or even your loved one. So now what we have come up with - the same plastics, only inside instead of a cardboard, the iPhone is inserted.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №106887
 16.12.2014
Stop writing verses about the euro and the dollar, the central bank focuses on them when compiling currency rates. And then the man with the dollars will hang, I’m sorry.)))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106886
 16.12.2014
At work, colleagues have a quick conversation for tea.

I finally got a newspaper yesterday, for the first time in a month.
Today the radio was in the kitchen.

Imagine what a century.


[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106885
 16.12.2014
About >> there is no room for you in the anti-nuclear bunker

As our commander said:
“When you get in the immediate vicinity of a nuclear explosion, you all know what to do (well there to fall/hide, in short, in the Charter it is written, who is interested), but I advise you to get up in full. To die quickly and without suffering.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106884
 16.12.2014
Comments to the photo where Marilyn Manson in the image stands on the red square.

The evil is near.)
C behind the back. Marilyn, turn around!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106883
 16.12.2014
A thoughtful aunt, far from every 20 stools in the bag lies
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Meaning is lying? O_o Ready to bet that these stools brought children from their parents. Did your teacher bring you to the museum?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №106882
 16.12.2014
A colleague sits, decides a crossword and is sad-not coming together.I look, and he has the answer to the question of Cassius Clay-PVA.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №106881
 16.12.2014
My husband and I recently argued whether he has Jewish blood. For verification, he decided to transfer some of the money into dollars and euros. Type if the exchange rate will rise and it will be in plus, it means that the Jewish currency is there, and if not, then, accordingly, there is no...
I live with a Jew X (

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106880
 16.12.2014
Lin puts a 500-euro banknote in AJ trousers
<lin> now do something
<AppleJack> what is it?
<lin> RELATED
AppleJack converts 500 euros into rubles
<lin> yes
<lin> I didn’t think of it.
<lin> 1:0

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №106879
 16.12.2014
xxx: received today the bank card of Russia
XXX: The deadline is alarming
xxx: valid until October 17

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106878
 16.12.2014
xxx: I have 1 euro in my wallet, and 2 kg of strawberries in the kitchen, girls write, we will have fun

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №106877
 16.12.2014
Add to:

The same feeling when your queries, beginning with the words "what to do if", have surpassed the most popular in terms of absurdity.
____________________________________
I once wanted to check out a moment from Chernyshevsky and was lazy to go for a book. Yandex's memorable assumption "what to do if Voldemort washes my shampoo", slightly lag behind "what to do if the toilet dances" and "what to do if I shampoo" :D
_________________________________________________________________
The wife started recruiting on Google, intending to find out the effects of ultrasound on mice:
"Why mice are afraid of..."
has issued:
The Ultrasound
and injections
The horrors
The buyer.

– is

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106876
 16.12.2014
XX: This morning my husband declares to me:"And you know that you understand refrigerators, air conditioners and even know how to repair refrigerators, you know the marks of freon and so on"? I did not understand, it turns out - my husband entered his page in VK, but did not see that by mistake entered my page and registered with the group of refrigerators and even created a topic, all on my behalf :D, so I communicate there with men about refrigerators, stunning everyone with the knowledge of equipment and periodically matte

UUU: In this same stupid VK, I like, too, without looking, from my husband's page entered the group of crawlers with a hook. Completely successfully communicated :D Podvoh noticed only when the interlocutors began to admire the knowledge of the man in hanging a hook and photos of his work

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106875
 16.12.2014
I have a boxing bag of medium size at home. And all the friends who come to me breathe unevenly. They throw their fists on him as if he were their worst enemy. Others start to embrace him, just stand in the embrace and tell me something. The girls do not react to him. Although one girl accidentally struck him in the shoulder, thinking that I said "sorry". This is my mysterious bag.

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